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At the Edge of the Abyss: Unfaithful Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2007/05/unfaithful-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Thursday, May 03, 2007. So I was away for a work do this weekend for 4 days and 3 nights - the longest time I've been away from the boyfriend for over 2 years. It's funny how much you can miss a person. The nights were the worst - having no one to cuddle with. We bonded over photography and gardening. And woke up on Monday night to a bizarre dream about kissing him. Hopefully it will be out of my system after I blog this out for good. Because I'm not about to ruin something ...

attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com

At the Edge of the Abyss: Ex-Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2006/06/ex-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Monday, June 19, 2006. I believe he’s moved on. Yet every once in a while, whenever I’m in the city, visiting old haunts (for my own sake not to reminisce), I’ll think of him, and wonder if perhaps I might see him. What would happen if we did cross paths? Have we in fact crossed paths, and he chose not to say hello? Would I say hi, or would I make a point of pretending he didn’t exist? I think I would be a bit upset and angry. It’s funny how the mind plays tricks and tries to in...

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At the Edge of the Abyss: Tempting Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2007/12/tempting-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Monday, December 03, 2007. He contacted me the other day. Found me on Facebook of all places. I couldn't believe it. Although I have also been guilty of looking him up every once in a while. I've never found him though. We bought a house about 4 months ago, and I am ironically closer to him than before. I have driven close by his house, when I go to work (it's a shortcut when the traffic gets bad), and I use the same train station that we used to frequent when I was at uni.

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At the Edge of the Abyss: Watery Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2006/04/watery-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Friday, April 21, 2006. Where are you and I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight. I need somebody and always. This sick strange darkness. Comes creeping on so haunting every time (Blink 182 I Miss You). As I wandered away dazed, I looked through my camera lens and it felt like I was following a spirit of sorts. An ethereal presence, flighty and translucent. And I followed it in the hope of capturing a few pictures. It began to get dark. Strangely though, as I knelt ...

attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com

At the Edge of the Abyss: Sometimes Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2006/06/sometimes-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Thursday, June 15, 2006. Here I am and I want to take a hit. Of your scent coz it bit. So deep into my soul. I want you.". Third Eye Blind I Want You. Even after we argue I come away knowing that I love him. While we’re arguing, and while he’s being callous, I wonder if I have done the right thing, being here. Leaving a former life behind. But after things are patched up, all I feel is the love blossoming deep within. But then again, do we ever know? I didn’t get my communicatio...

attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com

At the Edge of the Abyss: Irate Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2008/02/irritable-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Tuesday, February 19, 2008. Anyway, now I wish I'd written a much cooler email, as opposed to the friendly one I'd written earlier. I just feel so stupid. Do Anyway, I'm just being silly and petty. I mean, I even get the vague feeling that I was the one who showed him the job and went, hey, that'd be cool to do. And he took it and went yeah sure. And that's not fair! Posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 11:40 am. Love and Angst * *. At the Edge of the Abyss. Sketches of the Mind.

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At the Edge of the Abyss: Sisterly Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2006/03/sisterly-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Thursday, March 30, 2006. I gave my brother the letter and told him I would pay him less starting from next week. And suddenly I feel bereft. I feel so foul and guilty and miserable. He’s my only brother, and I feel like I’m abandoning him. Off to a life of carefree existence, while he and mum are stuck in a hole. Barely scraping by and living a wretched existence. I could make it so much better for them. But I chose not to. And now I feel awful. He’s the only brother I have.

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At the Edge of the Abyss: Wistful Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2009/01/wistful-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Thursday, January 15, 2009. It is nice to be loved. Put on a pedestal and thought of positively. That sweet feeling of What Might Have Been is so intoxicating. And the thought of it always makes you smile. Especially when you are reminded of the feelings they once held for you. Tall, blonde, high cheekbones with the deepest blue eyes you ever clapped eyes on. In typical fashion he only brought up his feelings as he was about to leave. Posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 11:28 am.

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At the Edge of the Abyss: Contemplating Butterfly

http://attheedgeoftheabyss.blogspot.com/2006/10/contemplating-butterfly.html

At the Edge of the Abyss. Friday, October 27, 2006. Always make sure you have enough money hidden away for an exit, my mother always told me. Never disclose your full financial status. Always make sure you have enough so that if things suddenly go pear shaped you won’t find yourself in too painful a situation. But what’s even more interesting is that it doesn’t really affect me. I wouldn’t be too upset if he left me. Is that a bad thing? Is it cold hearted of me? Have I done wrong? Am I using him? Possib...