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Mental Pacing | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2012/06/19/mental-pacing
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. June 19, 2012. I’m getting a little restless. I hate the whole recuperation stage of laying around all the time, painful movement, painkiller-clouded thoughts, and isolation. There is good news: they were able to place the catheter! This is right after the surgery. Thus, the glassy eyes. When is it my turn? Then comes the real terror:. What if I don’t get a turn? Right now, I just keep pacing. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. And tagged having babies. What a gr...
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Out of Control | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2012/07/18/out-of-control
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. July 18, 2012. Well, my life just became a lot fuller. I’ve got two pounds of fluid in my abdomen, 60 boxes in my living room, and a regular schedule of daily dialysis exchanges, blood pressure measurements, and symptoms checklists to go through. Right now I feel like I’m living in semi-controlled chaos. Our reorganized bedroom, with my dialysis machine next to the bed. Sorry as well for the blurriness: shaky hands.). This entry was posted in Uncategorized. That would...
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Looking Forward | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2012/09/03/looking-forward
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. September 3, 2012. I apologize for waiting so long to post; our lives became super hectic this last month, with visiting family members, lots of doctor appointments, and various commitments we had to fulfill. In addition, I was in charge of writing the program that the children in our church put on to show their parents what they have learned, and Kohl directed a short film (in the middle of editing his feature! In addition, my dialysis has been working really well...
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Baby, It’s Cold Inside | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2014/11/16/baby-its-cold-inside
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. November 16, 2014. Baby, It’s Cold Inside. The despair hits me when, after again running through the former two topics, I remember that because of my antibodies I could be spending years in this same situation. The helplessness I feel is both infuriating and debilitating. Well, that’s true for everyone, she said dismissively. I’m not sure how to break the cycle. Join a support group? Spend all of my time reading escapist literature to avoid my pain? I don’t know the a...
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Burning | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2012/11/26/burning
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. November 26, 2012. Hooked up to the hemodialysis machine. The upper piece of gauze is where the catheter goes into my jugular. The lower piece is where the catheter emerges from the skin. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. 16 thoughts on “ Burning. November 26, 2012 at 10:58 pm. November 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm. November 26, 2012 at 11:11 pm. We love you. Tons. And Kohl a little bit too. November 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm. November 27, 2012 at 7:51 am. I once read a philos...
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“Brim with Joy” | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2012/06/09/brim-with-joy
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. June 9, 2012. 8220;Brim with Joy”. In a little under a week I’m going in for surgery, so for these last few days Kohl and I made a list of everything we wanted or needed to get done, and we’ve been working on checking them all off. Unfortunately I sleep for half of every day and Kohl is constantly busy with all the various film projects with which he’s involved, but we’re still trying. This is one of my favorite pics that Briana took. I am overwhelmingly blessed in an...
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The Bitter and The Sweet | SHADOWLACE
https://shadowlace.com/2013/06/10/the-bitter-and-the-sweet
Crochet, Kidney Disease, and Candor. June 10, 2013. The Bitter and The Sweet. It’s been a long time. I have tried to start this post so many times, but how can a handful of paragraphs accurately depict the miracles and upheavals, the pure, deep joy and the heart faltering terror, that became an everyday part of our lives so suddenly? They can’t, and so I’m going to have to just try to give you a patchy description of the last few months. And maybe, if it’s my path, I’ll receive another miracle. No matter...