thethingsimmadeof.wordpress.com
heavy, hollow | These are the things I'm made of
https://thethingsimmadeof.wordpress.com/2015/04/14/heavy-hollow
These are the things I'm made of. Grieving the loss of our stillborn son. April 14, 2015. But sometimes, your absence hits me like a punch in the gut, and I feel you, heavy and hollow beneath my ribs, my ghost belly. I want to curve around you protectively and weep and weep for all that we have lost. This entry was posted in Reflections. 2 thoughts on “ heavy, hollow. April 15, 2015 at 2:21 pm. Yes Exactly this. But you said it better than I could. Lately more gut punches for some reason. Always My 3 Boys.
thethingsimmadeof.wordpress.com
two and a half (the loss of you) | These are the things I'm made of
https://thethingsimmadeof.wordpress.com/2015/06/28/two-and-a-half-the-loss-of-you
These are the things I'm made of. Grieving the loss of our stillborn son. June 28, 2015. Two and a half (the loss of you). Walking through the house claiming rooms. Touching this, touching that. Standing on tiptoes to see over. Crouching down to peer under. Your chubby legs, in shorts for the summer, lengthening. Able to climb onto the sofa without a stool, then onto the bed. Sitting at the table sometimes instead of your high chair. Your babbles. Your first words. Complete sentences. There are still a h...
en.blog.wordpress.com
Writing Through Grief — WordPress.com News
https://en.blog.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/grief-roundup
Hot Off the Press. For many of us, writing is cathartic. These moms use their blogs to process (and heal) in the aftermath of a parent’s most painful experience. Aug 1, 2014 @ 4:00 pm. Blogs are incredible vehicles for exploring our passions and finding our voices. They can also be powerful tools for healing in the face of trauma; for many of us, the act of writing is a cathartic one. C is for Crocodile. 2014 BlogHer Voices of the Year. C is for Crocodile. Published during the recent BlogHer conference:.
theheartseesclearly.wordpress.com
they grow up so fast – the heart sees clearly.
https://theheartseesclearly.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/they-grow-up-so-fast
The heart sees clearly. Celebrating our son Owen Benjamin. They grow up so fast. July 30, 2015. July 30, 2015. 9 months in, 9 months out. I can’t believe I am writing this. The only useful, somewhat accurate, warning that came from the barrage of unsolicited. Style ‘advice’ received during this time was that. They grow up so fast. Grown, oh so much, just not physically. Every thing that we teach him, share with him. Everywhere that we go with him, explore with him. He grows. Owen is growing up so fast.
drwengel.wordpress.com
Churning – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2016/03/08/churning
March 8, 2016. When I stopped by the reception desk on my way out, the kind woman behind the counter encouraged me to schedule my next appointment. I wavered, knowing 6 months later life would surely be more hectic, but the future seemed so far away, so unreal yet… I scheduled my next dentist appointment for March 8th 2013. I laughed then, and I cant help but chuckle now. Indisposed. The thing is, I never rescheduled. I never went back. And then of course, Graham died and a place that was never really ab...
drwengel.wordpress.com
Echo – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2016/07/04/echo
July 4, 2016. I sat in the corner crook of our living room couch, quietly interacting with my busy family in relaxed, easy-going tones. Mindlessly, I laid my head to the left and found myself looking into the eyes of my son. I let myself linger on the photograph, as his smile cracked into the mundane moment. Suddenly, I felt the chill of a scream – I could actually hear it from within me, “Oh my God! 8221; The panicky words rang through my mind. “He’s gone! Oh my God, he’s gone! July 5, 2016 / 9:35 am.
drwengel.wordpress.com
Why? – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2015/09/16/why
September 16, 2015. The other day I talked with a mother who had come very close to losing her small son. Death layered itself on her precious child, forcing this mother to stare into the depth of possibility – to pray with desperate abandon and open her arms wide in total lack of control… She tasted the shocking, ravaging reality that love is simply not enough… not in this world anyway. But then… her son lived – and continues to live – big and healthy and beautiful. Didn’t my son have to. So then, WHY?
drwengel.wordpress.com
Exhale – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2016/05/31/exhale
May 31, 2016. 8220;We have a dog too! 8221; My daughters giggled in between puppy kisses given from a stranger’s dog. 8220;We have Emily and Luke… Luke died. My brother died too. His name is Graham.” Charlotte gushed. 8221; Eleanor piped up! 8220;Journey is the baby that died in Momma’s tummy. He’s dead too.”. 8220;And my Grandma.” Charlotte added nonplussed. I exhaled – there was no overwhelming sense of closure or peace – I just breathed in and out once more. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. You are comment...
drwengel.wordpress.com
I was His Ms. Carrie (pt 3) – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2015/10/11/i-was-his-ms-carrie-pt-3
I was His Ms. Carrie (pt 3). October 11, 2015. October 12, 2015. The next hour is a total blur. Calling Evan. Calling my husband. Cops filtering in and out of every room in the house. Fumbling through phone calls to the other parents to come and pick their children up. The kids sensing something was up and just wanting to be near me but the cops saying that they couldn’t. And then my cell phone rings and I see that it’s Kristin. Yes! But that’s not what Kristin and I were able to celebrate. Eventually al...
drwengel.wordpress.com
Interview – Graham
https://drwengel.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/interview
August 16, 2015. August 16, 2015. Over the past several months my husband and I have been applying for disability and life insurance. So much red tape… I’ve had three separate interviews regarding my medical history, pregnancies, doctor visits, medications… They ask mind numbing questions regarding dates and time periods… The anxiety is overwhelming as I try to give them what they are asking for. Due dates, death dates, how old, how long, where was I? Deep in the darkness of my heart and soul, I am fucke...
