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tenpasenta.org

Church Fundraising

http://www.tenpasenta.org/fundraising.html

OUR CHURCH ROOF NEEDS YOU. As we grow older our circulation becomes less efficient and our extremities become vulnerable to the cold, as the cold nights draw in our thoughts inevitably turn to those elderly people stuck in their overly large expensive to heat houses, why they remain in them and not donate them to us is beyond me to be frank, but there we are and there they are. We recommend 20p per wringing of hands, but sky's the limit! We invited self proclaimed Business Guru Lord Sir Alan Sugar. As Ma...

tenpasenta.org

Church Shop

http://www.tenpasenta.org/gifts.html

Our beautiful Church gifts are currently exclusive to the Tenpasenta Church gift shop and our eBay bulk value outlet store. Our newly refurbished shop is conveniently located via our funeral chapel exit. This plush store reflects the quality materials and workmanship that goes into every Tenpasenta product, from coffins to donation boxes. Don't be fooled into thinking that the "Made in China" labels means we buy cheap and sell high, although those who did come to that conclusion could be correct. These h...

tenpasenta.org

Church Jobs

http://www.tenpasenta.org/Jobs.html

Full training maybe be given. This job involves driving very powerful cars as slowly as you can. Performance hearses are able to accelerate from 0 to 60mph in six seconds, but this is frowned upon during a funeral cortège. Applicants with a miserable face stand a higher chance of being selected. You may/will be required to act as a pall bearer, so bear this in mind before applying, especially if you are very tall or short because you will be automatically rejected on sight. We will only be hiring a male ...

tenpasenta.org

Humanitarian Aid

http://www.tenpasenta.org/aid.html

As a result of our investigations we have decided to focus our own humanitarian aid package on drought stricken parts of Africa. Following the lead of major charity business's like Oxfam we put in place a well-paid management team to organise both fundraising efforts and the final delivery of a great water aid package to those most needy. Unlike other organisations who put their efforts into sinking wells so that people can have access to a long term sustainable drinking water supply, we aimed far higher.

tenpasenta.org

Gold4Church.com

http://www.tenpasenta.org/gold4church.html

Unwanted gold to the Tenpasenta Church, and we'll turn it into our. Send your spare gold to:. The Tenpasenta Church gold refinery. Rest assured that all Gold4Church. Donations will not be sold for a knock down price just to get quick cash. We pride ourselves in getting the best possible price that our local Jewellers will offer us. If you feel that the price we get for your gold is not high enough, send us the difference through Paypal, it's free! And I hear they got £3458 for it! Cost me £2. We recently...

tenpasenta.org

Tenpasenta church Weddings

http://www.tenpasenta.org/weddings.html

Weddings for the privileged or discerning couple. Getting married is a very special time in your life, and maybe your future partners life too, however many times you end up doing it. Whether you marry for love or money it's important to make it a special occasion. Don't get fobbed off with a cheap ceremony at your local Church or registry office, spend your inheritance or life savings and get married at Southampton's Tenpasenta Church. Tenpasenta Church members have always been able to use the vicarage ...

tenpasenta.org

Southampton Book of Remembrance

http://www.tenpasenta.org/book-of-remembrance.html

Because our visitor centre is busy at all times, Mark the vicar has installed a live webcam so that you can work out a quieter time to visit your loved ones name. The live feed is displayed on the right, we're sure you will agree that the Tenpasenta Church is a very popular and busy location all the day. On your day of remembrance. Thanks to the wonders of modern digital imaging we are able to emulate with stock JPEG's any flower, they will be displayed as a large icon on your loved ones E-Membrance page...

tenpasenta.org

Maternity care Southampton

http://www.tenpasenta.org/Maternity.html

Maternity care unit Southampton. We have been delivering no frills religion for over 170 years, during 2002 we decided to enter the delivering of babies game too. We now offer the very highest quality maternity care money can buy, all from our specially built maternity hospital here in Southampton. We are a centre of excellence. We invited serial pregnantee Carol Smilie to open our new Carol Smilie. Deformed baby scanner unit. Now known as the second door on the left. We understand the embarrassment havi...

tenpasenta.org

Guaranteed Over 50 Plan

http://www.tenpasenta.org/over50plan.html

Life brings many good reasons to wish it was ended, for example:. A bad marriage,. Hitting the ground at very high speed,. Flying in a Russian Airliner. If you suffer from any or all of these,. You should be thinking about our. For over £50. A month you can guarantee yourself the afterlife. Our plans are backed by the Tenpasenta Church. By relieving your bank account of a relatively small amounts of over £50. Each month, you're in the Afterlife. It's as simple as that! Just send me your money! In that ti...

budgetfunerals.org

Budget Funerals Church

http://www.budgetfunerals.org/church.html

For The Impoverished or Generally Tightfisted. 8226; Make life's final journey cheaper than other people's •. So you can't afford our nice chapel for the funeral service? Our lovely American Church could be for you, it's great, and best of all it's very cheap. Our Budget Church is available at very low rates, it is within easy carrying range of the cremation pyres and Wotachytole burial site. There are no staff supplied to lead the funeral service for you, however a taped standard service read by Brian t...