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4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: June 2012
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Sunday, 10 June 2012. So 4 more weeks to p.o.p and i'm still failing ippt. not surprised. oh well, we'll see what we can do. Some of these feelings are coming back, the dreaded thoughts that I assumed I buried deep within the heart. Troubling, disturbing thoughts. After field camp, it was a mini catharsis, realising how much i took everything I had in life for granted, that our lives really are safe thanks to the soldiers which i respect much more. I wake up to find out that no one remembers me. Scar...
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4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: October 2013
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Thursday, 10 October 2013. Anyway, finished season 2 of breaking bad and it's starting to get quite dark. And perhaps it's this tone that marked the start of it's much greater success, i guess? I have to say it was extremely sad and heart wrenching in the last 2 episodes, with the death and his reaction and his guilt and lamenting. Damn. Their acting skills are just too damn high. Or maybe it's just that I'm easily convinced by even an average level of acting. Too many shows, where got time?
4lierth15bitcironellet-keineshordesen.blogspot.com
4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: January 2014
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Monday, 27 January 2014. How long has it been? And yet, the same problems still plague me. After all these years, i'm still experiencing the same feelings over again. Teenage angst and whatnot residing within me, its vestiges like hardened strains, refusing to leave, refusing to be erased from my memories and my life. Indeed, what is this mysterious aspect of life wherein my ultimate passion and goals reside? I know not the cure to this flux of emotions and thoughts, but I know the solution to stop this ...
4lierth15bitcironellet-keineshordesen.blogspot.com
4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: September 2011
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Tuesday, 13 September 2011. A life without love is no life at all". Depends on how i look at it, the situation is improving, and yet its not. I'm speaking gibberish again aren't I. Escapism isn't an option anymore, and being nihilistic, I'm just somehow constantly depressed and feel like giving up on life. Not that I would anytime soon (I hope). Even if i die at least I have to achieve something that is of some value i.e. A levels. Suicide being the end to your problems? Fuck Everywhere I go people look ...
4lierth15bitcironellet-keineshordesen.blogspot.com
4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: November 2011
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Sunday, 20 November 2011. There is no I in me. Everytime you walk past me i remain expressionless,. But i smile a little inside. Yet i know that none of the feelings i'm experiencing are real. It's just another entity residing within this shell that I have no control over. That's not me. It was never me. Somehow it all feels. surrealistic. I retain memories of my dreams about you, and I don't feel a tinge of happiness, or anything. Perhaps it's not the sleep that's the root of the problem, no?
4lierth15bitcironellet-keineshordesen.blogspot.com
4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: March 2012
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Wednesday, 7 March 2012. Random summation of thoughts and events. Kind of late. but I'll just post it to my future self, so that I'll remember my last few days of civilian life before going to NS. Friday's results were rather expected, so I didn't have any meltdowns or anything. But saying that I'm not disappointed is a huge lie. All those possibilities: What if i started studying earlier? For a class that started out being labelled as le prc/mugger class, we have. And although still slightly disappointe...
4lierth15bitcironellet-keineshordesen.blogspot.com
4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: April 2013
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Wednesday, 17 April 2013. Its already halfway through april. Still into you - paramore. Still not sick of this song even though it has been on the radio countless times. rather simple song without the angst and darkness and what not present in their usual brand of music but it's really addictive and i guess my teenage mind naturally associates the lyrics and feelings to my non-existent love life. because. Im still into you. The song gives me the same kind of feel as listening to crushcrushcrush i guess.
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4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: February 2013
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Tuesday, 19 February 2013. Pool carnival, bbq dinner, need i mention anything else? It seems forced that i'm posting this. and it is. I just want to record something at some point of my life, that I won't forget all of this when i'm hermitized (which i am slowly heading towards), and living the rest of life in a hazy blur, and whatever. My current favorite song: cough cough - everything everything. Before this, alt-j was stuck in my head pretty much all the time. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
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4 delusions of death / 15 bullets of blasphemy: August 2013
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Wednesday, 14 August 2013. Also, I wasted an entire day of leave. Somehow I'm not that in the mood to play any video games. Except on the ipad. And I'm just sitting there doing nothing but watching stuff and letting myself rot away. I don't have a social life and I'm not ashamed of it. So what if I stay at home all day? Friday, 9 August 2013. Not really. But it serves its function. Recent watching list includes hannibal, suits season 3, the newsroom season 2, under the dome, and perhaps house of cards, m...
