sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: I am the star whisperer (celebrity-wise, not astrologically)
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2011/03/i-am-star-whisperer-celebrity-wise-not.html
Tuesday, March 22, 2011. I am the star whisperer (celebrity-wise, not astrologically). I've had some stuff on my mind lately and it's lead me to reinvigorate my blogging efforts, which have been pretty pathetic these past few months. Apologies to whomever you are. (is that a cavernous echo? Either way you can see why I'm disturbed by my own mind. Scary shit, yo. Note to self: I'm watching waaaaayy too much crime television. Stay tuned to find out. Posted under alec baldwin isnt a safe bike rider. Because...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: November 2009
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
Tuesday, November 17, 2009. A great way to start my day. Don't ask me why this prompted me to post for the first time in a month. Cause I have no answer for you. Let me set the stage for this morning's traumatic event. A FREAKING DEAD BIRD HITS THE PAVEMENT A MERE FOOT FROM MY HEAD! At least I think (or hope) he's dead before he hits the ground. I don't know why I assume it's a boy, but I just do.). I quickly come to the conclusion that either a) god is punishing me and is raining dead animals down on me...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: August 2009
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2009_08_01_archive.html
Monday, August 31, 2009. These toes weren't made for walkin'. Apparently, my toes are freakish. Remember that pic of my branch-like 2nd/3rd toes. Well, my coworkers are now referring to it as the "chicken-toe". Fun times. Here's another toe-related ha-ha (at my expense. as usual) for you:. The ladies buy a lot of shoes and clothes in my office, from sites like Gilt.com. A fab pair of new shoes and it's like they just appeared! Well, here it is. And a bit closer. PS - Shoe me some designer love. All of my...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: March 2011
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2011_03_01_archive.html
Wednesday, March 23, 2011. Have you ever thought about. The fact that when you are leaving a NYC subway during the morning commute and it's pretty packed, as it always is, and you're literally a little sardine, and you're walking up the stairs to the street single file the person in front of you's ass is just INCHES FROM YOUR FACE! Now I can't stop examining the person walking in front me and stopping myself from forming the mental image of my face a mere few inches from their bare naked ass! PS - I'm to...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: Random thought of the day
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2010/10/random-thought-of-day.html
Thursday, October 28, 2010. Random thought of the day. Why is a case of wine 12 bottles, a case of whiskey 12 bottles. but a case of beer is 24? I'm at a loss. At first I thought it could be related to the alcohol % and volume - i.e. you got equally fucked up from each case of said alcoholic beverage, but that doesn't work when you think it through:. A case of beer will cause you to wake up on your front lawn with a grass stain on your face and bloody knee that you don't know how you got. I can drink a b...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: September 2009
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2009_09_01_archive.html
Friday, September 25, 2009. As a Masshole and Red Sox fan, this could be the best thing I've seen in months. Sunday, September 20, 2009. Why you shouldn't eat too much garlic. Saturday, September 19, 2009. Keep fucking that chicken! New York newscaster on live tv. Friday, September 18, 2009. Why I love cats. because the make no sense. Thursday, September 17, 2009. Really busy so this is all I'm capable of. Monday, September 14, 2009. What kind of idiot sprays themselves with deer piss? This just made my ...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: October 2009
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2009_10_01_archive.html
Friday, October 16, 2009. If you think *YOU* got too drunk. Worst Shopping Run Ever. Watch more Funny Videos. Saturday, October 3, 2009. All the single ladies! You're prayers are answered! Friday, October 2, 2009. I nearly pissed myself when I saw this. Do any of you know the movie House of 1,000 Corposes, directed by Rob Zombie? It was his first movie (and unfortunately, his worst) and the kid who played Fishboy was Dwight! Who knew that Rob Zombie discovered Dwight. Thursday, October 1, 2009. Maybe I'l...
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: Today is my day. So shut it.
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2010/03/today-is-my-day-so-shut-it.html
Monday, March 15, 2010. Today is my day. So shut it. In my office, each time it's someone's birthday, we photoshop a picture to include the face of our colleague, let's call him Wolf. Wolf is continually transformed into beautiful woman, famous celebrities, ladies with a bit more "girth", and famous athletes. If only each of us could be so lucky. Here are a few examples:. And here is my very own bad birthday photoshop:. It's Jersey Shore meets the Backstreet Boys! God, I love my job. That Is. AWESOME.
sassytwosocks.com
sassy two socks: It sucks to be skinny AND have cankles
http://www.sassytwosocks.com/2010/07/it-sucks-to-be-skinny-and-have-cankles.html
Friday, July 9, 2010. It sucks to be skinny AND have cankles. In the midst of my panic attack about passing out with a apparent bottle of urine in my bag. Last night, I noticed a girl on the subway who was thin and svelt but had major cankles. And I thought to myself, "that poor, poor girl - to be blessed with the thin gene AND the fat ankle gene must suck." Big time. Either way, I suppose cankles suck big time. Do you think people get lipo on cankles? Posted under liposuck me baby. You are a genius!