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Dad Vs. Dad: April 2006
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Thursday, April 27, 2006. My house looks like a lighthouse with one light blaring at three in the morning. Did he think a boat was going to come down the cul-de-sac, and wreck his rental car? Was he worried about helicopter traffic? This didn’t happen just one night, but both nights. He slept with the lights on, and the covers over his head. He's a strange dude. Posted by lawnwhisperer at 3:44 PM. Tuesday, April 25, 2006. Posted by lawnwhisperer at 9:30 PM. Monday, April 24, 2006. Thursday, April 20, 2006.
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Dad Vs. Dad: August 2006
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Thursday, August 24, 2006. He is going so fast that he is tripping over his own feet and he says, I wished for a pinball machine, I want to go see it. Posted by lawnwhisperer at 7:23 AM. Wednesday, August 23, 2006. We have not found the piece yet. The puzzle still rests on the coffee table, finished, except for that piece. It is disturbing to me that we have not found it. But someday I will find it. I will find the missing piece of the puzzle. Posted by lawnwhisperer at 8:03 AM. Sunday, August 13, 2006.
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Dad Vs. Dad: May 2006
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006. Jack Daniels , he read slowly. Jack Daniels. Dad, who is Jack Daniels, and why is our whole basement decorated with him? Well, buddy, he’s just some dude that made whiskey. Whiskey, what is whiskey? Well, whiskey is alcohol, it’s a drink. Ohhh, so you drink it. You drink it, just like you drink water? Well, no. Uncle Bill drinks it like it’s water, but most people drink it slow, they sip it. So you are just supposed to sip it. Why does uncle Bill drink it so fast? The crowd went si...
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Dad Vs. Dad: July 2006
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Monday, July 31, 2006. Bruce Wayne is a very rich guy. I am not a very rich guy, but I would not mind being one. See, similar. Bruce is afraid of bats. I am afraid of dogs. Do you see where I am going here? Posted by lawnwhisperer at 9:16 AM. Wednesday, July 26, 2006. Following are the issues that I want investigated. My wife does not shop very often, and she cooks even less. Why the hell then, am I still a fat ass? Did any of my genes even make it into his make-up? Is a DNA test required here? I try to ...
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Dad Vs. Dad: September 2006
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Thursday, September 14, 2006. It hit me right on the shoe. Some people believe that it is good luck to be shit on by a bird. I think it is gross. I hate geese, go south already! Posted by lawnwhisperer at 12:20 PM. Tuesday, September 12, 2006. Green Beans, yuk. What are you talking about? I denied such shenanigans, and waited for her to leave. After she left, I had to do a sweep for hidden cameras. How the hell did she know that I do that? The kids and I have a code of silence on such topics, or so I tho...
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Dad Vs. Dad: January 2006
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Wednesday, January 04, 2006. Posted by WILLIAM at 4:32 PM. DAD Vs. DAD. Fit for a King.
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Dad Vs. Dad: October 2006
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Tuesday, October 31, 2006. Fit for a King. Well, well, well. Her gig is up now isn’t it? I will agree that it is easier to make with two people. I will agree that when you do it yourself, it is annoying. I do not; however, believe that it is a two-man job. My wife has been leading me on for years. She has flat out lied to me, and I believed her. You know what? I bet my wife can cook. She wouldn’t? Posted by lawnwhisperer at 7:47 AM. Friday, October 27, 2006. Cause yesterday was day four of the jeans.
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Dad Vs. Dad: June 2006
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Thursday, June 29, 2006. Dan gets the first piece off, and then I believe Kev got the main post down. We all stood back and watched. The bedroom did not fall through. The new post appeared to be working. But there were still two more pieces of post to take out. Dan said that they were not the ones holding anything up, but they were simply helping support, the support. In my toolbox, there is a book. The floor is mostly finished. Dan has to go do the finishing touches. I will be recovering for day...I ope...
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Dad Vs. Dad: November 2006
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006. I was a little puzzled at the question, but I looked up and said, Yeah buddy, why do you ask? He got a bit miffed, and put an angry look on his face and replied, Well dad, you are the only person that I have ever heard call him Kyle. I have watched the movies and played the games, and nobody has ever called him Kyle. Did you make it up? Is his name Kyle Solo, or not? Posted by lawnwhisperer at 4:05 PM. Wednesday, November 22, 2006. Posted by lawnwhisperer at 12:10 PM. I am s...
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Dad Vs. Dad: March 2006
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006. You did good emptying your bladder. I had a few things running through my head. First, was she watching me? Was she impressed with my pinpoint accuracy? Did I have good form while emptying out? Was this a contest and I was the fastest pee-er she has ever had. Then I started thinking, can you do a bad job of emptying out your bladder? Maybe some people are not good pee-ers. I was thinking it was a strange thing to say, so I said, What the heck does that mean? Vicki explained to ...
