bullschmitz.blogspot.com
Bullschmitz: November 2006
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Tuesday, November 28, 2006. Rome Is So Crowded It Took Me 3 Days To Pee On It. Preparing to go to Rome-. Nearly as much as you would think, and 2) I was just annoyed by two very different ethnicities in very short succession. Plus I already hate whitey. Where am I to fit in? I thought they ate grass and the weakest of their young) and we went to Les Miserables (in English, "the nino." .Remember when SNL was funny? After a brisk morning molestation from the security crew, we were off!
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Bullschmitz: May 2007
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Wednesday, May 30, 2007. Pictured are the front and side of my left calf. I'll explain. I've tried everything, and the best part of life IS the ability to reference every Gob quote from 'Arrested Development! And take off that bow tie! You look like an asshole! Anyhoo, last week I went with my strikingly gorgeous girlfriend Jamie to her hometown of Spencer, Iowa, and during this time I tried two (2! Thing 1: I fired a gun! Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry. Monday, May 21, 2007.
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Bullschmitz: October 2006
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Wednesday, October 25, 2006. Four Quotes and a Discussion Point. Here's the world's greatest airbrushed painting, as promised. In case you forgot and are too lazy to scroll down (how are you even alive? It was found in a bar called the Grasshopper in Amsterdam. On with the rest of the post! 1 "The President cares about the poor- he made a lot of them." - Steven Colbert. Also, Hampton met Pauly Shore. How awesome is that? Not Really. Just Pictures. I found in an absolutely delicious Chi...
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Bullschmitz: October 2007
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Monday, October 29, 2007. Why I Hate LIfe. Some things will never change. Zelda games will always be good, and Radiohead albums will always be overrated. My brother will always immerse himself in grandiose jackassery, and my girlfriend will always butcher the bejesus out of song lyrics. Examples:. By adding some U2-esque "yeah yeah yeah! S to the end of it. Anyone who has been watching South Park knows what I'm talking about. Oh, and as for the first two- the new Zelda, "The Phantom Ho...
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Bullschmitz: August 2007
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Thursday, August 16, 2007. A Very Short Blog and an Apology (Alternate Title: "My Gaze is an Incredible Laxative"). First, the apology- Sorry I haven't been back here for so long. Not that I expect anyone gives a rat's ass. During the semester, which begins on Monday (say it with me-. Next, the very short blog. He may be retarded. If you give him a paper towel, he'll entertain himself for forty minutes. He likes to stare me in the eyes when he poops. I got a new car! An excerpt from an...
bullschmitz.blogspot.com
Bullschmitz: MAGIC!! (Not the Card Game)
http://bullschmitz.blogspot.com/2009/01/magic-not-card-game.html
No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Tuesday, January 27, 2009. Not the Card Game). As you may or may not know, I have possibly the most helpful brother in the entire world. For instance, I recently changed my phone number. My sweet, gentle brother took time out of his day to tell me that it was “the single gayest phone number” he had ever seen. Thanks, brother! You see, I might be dying. I have weird leprosy spots of dying skin littered over my (manly? Why don’t I see a doctor, you ask? But fret not, my dear four readers!
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Bullschmitz: Some Things I've Been Up To, or "What Up, Yo?" Vol. 1: My Years With Def Jam
http://bullschmitz.blogspot.com/2009/03/cheap-crazy-or-both.html
No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Tuesday, March 03, 2009. Some Things I've Been Up To, or "What Up, Yo? Vol 1: My Years With Def Jam. Blog Part I- Quick Notes:. A few quickies not worth an entire blog:. 1 Why did Aerosmith get to write so many songs about vaginas? 3 Once people in this country can finally get gay married can we start work on forcing those little Nazi kids to finally give the Twix rabbit some cereal? Yesterday she flat out refused to buy me Fruity Pebbles, because she feels they are exorbitantly priced...
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Bullschmitz: April 2007
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No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Wednesday, April 11, 2007. An incredibly brief (really, this time) blog about my Mexican sping break. The glory of Mexico! Home of the ever-wet, eternally hung to dry clothes, housing built from decaying, graffiti-ed brick, and thousands of Mexican's anxiously awaiting their next nap! Wait a minute. Real Mexico sucks. Its dirty, it smells bad, and there's always the vague possibility of rape waiting behind every corner. Hold on a second. The glory of fake Mexico! Parasailing. Up th...
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Bullschmitz: December 2008
http://bullschmitz.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html
No, YOU'RE A Jerk. Thursday, December 25, 2008. So I got engaged! Here's a picture of the happy couple. This was taken on a low-key Tuesday night at home:. Lord, she’s pretty. This is going to be fun. Here was Jables’ reaction. I’m not sure quite what to make of it. Thursday, December 18, 2008. And not the good kind, with pillowfights. He wants me to ask him what’s inside the box. I thought. Then I didn’t ask him, because he’s annoying and I wanted him to go away. Sidebar 2: I also understand that I've p...
