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AMESSAGEWITHABOTTLE.COM

Message With a Bottle

(by Chris Illuminati)

http://www.amessagewithabottle.com/

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Chris Illuminati

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ci●●●●●●●●●@gmail.com

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ci●●●●●●●●●@gmail.com

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Message With a Bottle | amessagewithabottle.com Reviews

https://amessagewithabottle.com

(by Chris Illuminati)

INTERNAL PAGES

amessagewithabottle.com amessagewithabottle.com
1

Message With A Bottle - Part 2

http://amessagewithabottle.com/page/2

A Message With A Bottle. Funny Parenting Advice From A Dad Doing It Wrong. June 21, 2016. June 21, 2016. Irish Soccer Fans Sing A Baby A Lullaby and It’s Awesome! June 20, 2016. June 20, 2016. Hilarious Toddler Loves Cranberries No Matter How Sour They Are. June 16, 2016. June 16, 2016. This Dad Sale Father’s Day Flyer Is Hilarious. June 15, 2016. June 15, 2016. Heartbreaking Story of 5-Year-old Julianna Snow Choosing Heaven. June 13, 2016. June 13, 2016. New Dad Starts City Dads Group. June 10, 2016.

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Insane in the Mombrain » At Least I’m WEARING Pants! (An ode to moms)

http://insanemombrain.com/2013/05/at-least-im-wearing-pants-an-ode-to-moms.html

Laquo; A turtle, a frog, a foot and a cat. Me So Pretty: Anatomy of a TV interview part 2. May 11, 2013. At Least I’m WEARING Pants! An ode to moms). Being a mom is hard. We all know that. Unless we are freaking idiots. But today I am getting out one of The Hub’s ladders and climbing waaaaayyyyy up on my high horse. Drunken falls be damned! Being A. Mom. Is. Hard. Today I made my live television debut on a talk show called. After a segment about the book. I Just Want To Pee Alone. But oh man how I. To sa...

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Insane in the Mombrain » Me So Pretty: Anatomy of a TV interview part 2.

http://insanemombrain.com/2013/05/me-so-pretty-anatomy-of-a-tv-interview-part-2.html

Laquo; At Least I’m WEARING Pants! An ode to moms). Shelldon. Shelldon Who? May 15, 2013. Me So Pretty: Anatomy of a TV interview part 2. Some of my most common memories from childhood involve my parents saying things like “Say that again! What was that face you made? Now try saying that without using your hands! If you keep moving your arms so much when you talk you’re gonna fly away! These things are still true. 8220;THAT’S NOT THE FACE, MOM! MAKE THE FACE YOU MADE A MINUTE AGO! I know that we ALL have...

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Insane in the Mombrain » And that’s how I ended up on Animal Planet

http://insanemombrain.com/2013/04/and-thats-how-i-ended-up-on-animal-planet.html

Laquo; The Boy is 12. He smells like sweaty socks and farts and his hair is so long I forgot what he looks like. But he says some pretty funny stuff and I love him more than the world. I get the chance to look like an idiot on tv again. Thank you, Universe. April 21, 2013. And that’s how I ended up on Animal Planet. Finding a good lady groomer is more difficult than choosing a gynocologist. The more the merrier! That’s how much I don’t care. But going to a waxer is different. Last week I tried the third ...

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Insane in the Mombrain » It’s A Hard-Knock Life. But Not As Hard As Prostitution.

http://insanemombrain.com/2015/01/its-a-hard-knock-life-but-not-as-hard-as-prostitution.html

Laquo; Dear Franklin BBQ: Where’s The Beef? Seriously. Where The Frick Is It? Cuz It Sure As Shit Ain’t In My Face Hole. The Next Part Is Very Important. They Are Going To Take You To The Financing Department And Force You To Buy Enough Corduroy Recliners To Furnish A Hillbilly’s Entire Lawn. January 16, 2015. It’s A Hard-Knock Life. But Not As Hard As Prostitution. Recently my hairstylist asked me if I’d seen the new “Annie” movie yet. That’s sacrilegious to you isn’t it? I’ve always loved it. One minut...

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Insane in the Mombrain » Everyone knows I hate chain mail. So if you give me a chain mail it pretty much means that you’re trying to harm me, because you know that I will break the chain. So basically it’s like you’re trying to c

http://insanemombrain.com/2013/03/everyone-knows-i-hate-chain-mail-so-if.html

Laquo; Facebook Friday/Crap You Mighta Missed: Ghosts like boobies, and The Hallmark Channel Sucks balls. It’s a 2 Week Wrap-Up because I totally didn’t do one last week. March 6, 2013. Everyone knows I hate chain mail. So if you give me a chain mail it pretty much means that you’re trying to harm me, because you know that I will break the chain. So basically it’s like you’re trying to commit murder by proxy. Nice try, suckers. 8221; and I was all “I’m never gonna do it! Who who who who). 4 How many pets?

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Insane in the Mombrain » Dear Franklin BBQ: Where’s The Beef? Seriously. Where The Frick Is It? Cuz It Sure As Shit Ain’t In My Face Hole.

http://insanemombrain.com/2014/07/dear-franklin-bbq-wheres-the-beef-seriously-where-the-frick-is-it-cuz-it-sure-as-shit-aint-in-my-face-hole.html

Laquo; Love means never having to say “Did you flush the body? 8221; Because if someone REALLY loves you THEY WILL FLUSH THE MOFO BODY! It’s A Hard-Knock Life. But Not As Hard As Prostitution. July 17, 2014. Dear Franklin BBQ: Where’s The Beef? Seriously. Where The Frick Is It? Cuz It Sure As Shit Ain’t In My Face Hole. A few months ago my friend Rachael and I went to Austin to spend the night in a treehouse at Cypress Valley Canopy Tours. But they got me. But when we got there they were out of meat.

insanemombrain.com insanemombrain.com

Insane in the Mombrain » Buy This Book!

http://insanemombrain.com/buy-this-book

I Just Want to Pee Alone. Is the New York Times Bestselling. Collection of over 30 essays from mom bloggers about how to find the funny in motherhood. Guess what? I am one of those bloggers. Please get your sweet ass a copy and read the heck out of it. If you like it, please tell your friends and family to buy it too. DO. Loan out your copy. I know that seems like the awesome thing to do, to save people money and share yours. But guess what? They’ll read it while they poop. Motherhood is the toughest and...

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