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Beautiful Things: July 2013

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Wednesday, July 31, 2013. Jude's 2 Year Photos {by Mommy}. I love you, my beautiful boy. Monday, July 8, 2013. As I've mentioned very recently, I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety and have even questioned if I've also been on the verge of depression. It's been an extremely dark and difficult few months, as I had not been able to shake any of these debilitating feelings. Judes 2 Year Photos {by Mommy}. Soundtrack to our life. Beautiful Things by Nicole Feller on Grooveshark. Things I Blog About.

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Beautiful Things: November 2012

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Friday, November 30, 2012. I miss how magical the holidays felt when I was a kid. It seems now, I spend more time in disbelief that the certain date has so quickly rolled around once again than I do really feeling festive! Things may not always be as magical as I imagined they would be when I was a kid, but no matter who or what I have lost, no matter the struggles or triumphs, there is always always so much to be thankful for. There is love and life in my home. And that is more than enough. I climbed in...

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Beautiful Things: April 2013

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Tuesday, April 23, 2013. I believed I was all better. I hadn't felt paranoid or anxious in a few months. Not since Jude's seizure, really. It all began last Friday, when Daniel and I were out celebrating our seventh dating anniversary. It was one stupid thing after another, all strung together to pull down my happy mood. Why would He allow this desire to anchor so deeply since childhood? Oddly enough, just like last April. Wednesday, April 10, 2013. What's it like to hold your own chubby pink baby girl?

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Beautiful Things: October 2012

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Wednesday, October 31, 2012. Capture Your Grief : Day 31 / Sunset. Today concludes the Capture Your Grief project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. The theme for the last day is sunset. Now I have to be honest. Because of it being Halloween and spending time with my family, I wasn't able to make it outside in time to capture the sunset. But I do have a lovely photo of a sunset from a few days ago that I will share. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. Tuesday, October 30, 2012. I long to kno...

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Beautiful Things: December 2012

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Saturday, December 29, 2012. Jude with my amazing cousin, Rachel. Our family. This was the best we could get Jude to cooperate. There were way cooler things going on at the moment than smiling for yet another photo! Beautiful boy in his Santa jammies. My parents got Jude some very wonderful gifts. Of course, he loved playing with the wrapping paper and boxes, like most children do! I'm sure he will tear into them next year! His new truck from my parents! Wednesday, December 26, 2012. People I know. C...

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Beautiful Things: Resources

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Losing a baby is a very isolating path. When I lost Avery, I had no idea what to do for myself, to even begin on the road to healing. These resources have been helpful to me and can hopefully be passed on to help others on this difficult journey. Glow in the Woods. So many helpful resources, including how to stop lactation, and other difficult subjects. The writers that contribute to this blog are so talented and honest, so open about their most raw feelings, instantly making you feel less alone. CarlyMa...

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Beautiful Things: May 2013

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Wednesday, May 29, 2013. I remember feeling so happy and so delighted over Jonah. I was excited that Jude would be getting a brother and that we would get to raise another baby. But then, inevitably, I woke up and Jonah disappeared. There won't be a Jonah. I just wish I could have Jonah. Tuesday, May 28, 2013. Anxiety lives here now. I hate what I have become. I really can't live like this. I am alive. I am well. I am not fighting for my life. I. I don't want to adopt. It doesn't solve any of this&#4...

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Beautiful Things: Right where I am 2013: three years, three months, eight days

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Friday, June 21, 2013. Right where I am 2013: three years, three months, eight days. Just like the past two years, Angie at Still Life with Circles,. Has encouraged us all to share right where we are at this moment in our grief. My post from last year can be found here. So, where do I stand in this up and down journey on this rugged terrain of grief? Then people nonchalantly suggest adoption, as if I've never heard of it before. That is not something that we can afford. And my heart aches for my. Nicole,...

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Beautiful Things: February 2013

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Friday, February 22, 2013. This time of the year always gets me. The January-to-March time, ever since Avery died. These last weeks when she was still alive three years ago. Three years? How is this my life? Why does this happen? And that's my broken record. On and on, as another year pushes us even further away from her and the time she was here. Sunday, February 17, 2013. Where do you draw the line on over sharing anyway? Is there anyone out there that can hurt us with our own photos? I've had my conce...

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Beautiful Things: January 2013

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Thursday, January 31, 2013. Jude is 18 months old today. How is that even. A year and a. Our sweet boy is walking! He is walking so much lately. He still falls frequently so we don't really let him walk on his own in public, but when we are at home, he's mostly on foot and can make his way across the entire house without stumbling. I am very proud of my little boy. I worry too much about his milestones. His sounds more like "mah! This boy is so incredible. I'm watching his sense of humor and his pers...