turtlecrossing.blogspot.com
Turtle Crossing: July 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Posted by J-Syn at 3:08 PM. I've changed my phone number, an e-mail has been dispatched. If you haven't received it you can I assume that I hate you.*. Or that I -don't have your e-mail address. You've got me blocked as spam. Posted by J-Syn at 9:19 PM. Every single fucking day. Posted by J-Syn at 10:56 PM. And also because the credits show the writers for the skit as a couple of Arabs and Sean Penn. What a versatile guy. Posted by J-Syn at 3:43 PM.
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Turtle Crossing: March 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Hey, It Worked For Karyn. According to the National Debt Clock. As of today we, the people, owe $8,372,249,065,040.67. This breaks down to $28,009.18 for every man, woman, and child in the U.S. of A, or about the price of a loaded Honda Accord. Personally, I'd be willing to cut a check in exchange for the U.S. agreeing to take a personal finance-management course,* but after that I don't want to hear shit- your are cut off. Spend More Than You Earn = : (. Poste...
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Turtle Crossing: February 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. An Extraordinary Act of Civil Obedience. A group of southern hipsters in the Atlanta area decided that, as a comment on Georgia's 55 mph highway speed limit, they would drive four-wide on a four-lane highway and film the hilarity. This is something that I would've been all over at 16, but at 27 my snap reaction is to line 'em up four abreast and stooge-slap them for passing off teenage hooliganeering as social commentary. Posted by J-Syn at 5:15 PM. Land sakes,...
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Turtle Crossing: October 2005
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Demolition derbies are like NASCAR minus all that boring-ass racing shit. Just cut right to what we're all waiting for. Posted by J-Syn at 8:37 PM. There are only two kinds of riders. Now I lay me down to sleep. Originally uploaded by J-Syn. Upside- The bike wasn't on the ground more than thirty seconds before two guys helped me pick it up. Downside- I dropped my bike in front of God, the world, and everybody. I'm thinking of getting it framed. I've also been o...
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Turtle Crossing: November 2005
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. عيد الشكر السعيد عليكم. Posted by J-Syn at 9:47 AM. Keeping Up With The Jones'. I don't have a competitive bone in my body, but I still feel a pang of sympathy for this guy's. Neigbours and whatever sad troupe of dancing lawn ornaments they've managed to scrounge from Wal-Mart. Posted by J-Syn at 3:58 PM. It Is After All. I was downtown having a beer waiting for the band ( The Jazz Collective. Posted by J-Syn at 12:02 AM. The Laws Of The Land. Well for the firs...
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Turtle Crossing: April 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Me- "Why is polygamy illegal? I mean it seems reasonable enough, especially if it goes both ways. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who'd enjoy having many husbands. Like the Husband With The Good Job, and the Husband Who's Handy 'Round The House, and The Gay Husband That I Actually Talk To and The Husband That Totally Knows How To Lay The Pipe.". He- "Yeah I guess that makes senses. I mean I'd like a harem of many wives.". He- "Yeah, just now.".
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Turtle Crossing: October 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. A cute girl made incredibly hot by virtue of being IN SPACE. Posted by J-Syn at 4:00 PM. Posted by J-Syn at 9:33 PM. A conversation with my mom. Mom- Do you have a girlfriend? Don't you look at women? Me- All the time. Mom- So what's wrong? Me- Well, I don't really like people, and I'm a little too good at being alone. Mom- Jason, if you just beat-off, you can't make babies. For maximum effect- my mom has a japanese accent. Posted by J-Syn at 4:58 PM.
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Turtle Crossing: May 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. I can only imagine that the kind folk at Super Soaker have lived lives of purity and innocence, because I know I'm not the only one who sees something wrong with this. And you can click here. If you need some more audio-visual aid grokking what the rest of the world is seeing. Posted by J-Syn at 11:27 AM. As of today I am CPR certified. To wit:. The victim is unresponsive, what do you do? There are no signs of breathing or circulation, now what? And if folly on...
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Turtle Crossing: June 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Well looks like we're one day closer to the day our robot overlords take the reigns of humanity from our wavering hand. Gaze up the first rays of that glorious dawn! The first rays of that glorious dawn run on DOS. Posted by J-Syn at 4:08 PM. I Bought A Bicycle. I'm not one to buy toys so the vow is to ride the bicycle to any destination within ten miles. Good for me, good for the environment and good for the wallet. And that's how I was emasculated this.
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Turtle Crossing: January 2006
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Counting on the kindness of man since 2005. Biodiesel motorcycle for sale on eBay. My birthday's coming up.*. Posted by J-Syn at 11:10 AM. Dr Isaac Berzin, a rocket scientist at MIT, has come up with a plan to use algae to clean up coal-burning power-plant emissions. It's guys like this that let me believe that we will survive as a race until that glorious day when benevolent machine minds take over the reigns of humanity. Posted by J-Syn at 1:57 PM. Warning: Will Only Be Funny To Wayne. Vin Diesel, as a...
