frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: Getting to the Finish Line Fast: The Abdoer
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2010/01/getting-to-finish-line-fast-abdoer.html
Wednesday, January 6, 2010. Getting to the Finish Line Fast: The Abdoer. Is this a serious attempt at selling a machine? Or a pornographer’s failed career transformed? In a video that is one minute and six seconds, we don’t even see the slightest inkling of an ab machine until twenty-three seconds in! That’s nearly half the video! Never mind that the name. Of the machine is preposterous. Why would anyone—and we mean any one. Name a machine a “doer”? We do not think so. A cursory look at the website.
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: December 2009
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html
Monday, December 21, 2009. The Not So Airtight Air Climber. To start things off, we must ask: what exactly is a “ Limited. Does this mean that the lifetime (either of the machine or you [or both? Is limited, and they can only warrant that limited life? We are not quite sure why they have a limited lifetime warrantee and why they would proudly announce that in their commercial. This acronym is by far the worst we have encountered to date. First of all, “apt” is actually a word, so that cou...Sorry about t...
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: A Little Awesome: The Ab Lounge
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009/10/little-awesome-ab-lounge.html
Sunday, October 25, 2009. A Little Awesome: The Ab Lounge. Tony Little can sell anything. Part of the reason we have delayed this post is just the mere fact that we think the Ab Lounge is pretty cool. Hey! It’s a lounge and. How cool is that? Well, we could always make fun of his hair. Something about 20 percent and steel—sounds true, at least.) Of course, we could deny the veracity of everything he does, but one must genuinely wonder: is everything. Our minds then switched to that inane talking head nex...
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: January 2010
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
Wednesday, January 6, 2010. Getting to the Finish Line Fast: The Abdoer. Is this a serious attempt at selling a machine? Or a pornographer’s failed career transformed? In a video that is one minute and six seconds, we don’t even see the slightest inkling of an ab machine until twenty-three seconds in! That’s nearly half the video! Never mind that the name. Of the machine is preposterous. Why would anyone—and we mean any one. Name a machine a “doer”? We do not think so. A cursory look at the website.
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: Results on the Run: Hip Hop Abs
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009/09/results-on-run-hip-hop-abs.html
Thursday, September 17, 2009. Results on the Run: Hip Hop Abs. Sean T. and his Hip Hop Abs workout ignore many of the rules set forth by his predecessors: no gimmicks, no fake scientists/reports, no thermal imaging tests, no computer-generated men—hell, there isn’t even a machine! So you, O reader, might think: “What must we complain of now? There is also the requisite amount of toned tummies (although it is clear the video’s demographic is women), but, alas, we have grown used to that too (already?
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: August 2009
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html
Thursday, August 27, 2009. Battle of the Lazy Person’s Ab Machines: The Flex Belt versus The Contour. Have you ever thought to yourself, “I would like to have a lean and trim figure, but I do not want to work out”? Did you also think that such contradictory desires are impossible to fulfill at once? Well, if you thought “yes” in answer to the latter question, you’re wrong. We present to you. Now we know what you’re thinking: “Is that even possible? Of how the Flex Belt is 100% medical science. They a...
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: November 2009
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
Sunday, November 15, 2009. If You Can Sit, You Can Get Fit: The Hawaii Chair. For this one, we almost don’t need to comment on anything. Isn’t it ridiculous enough as it is? Who in his right mind would want to purchase a chair that moves like an out-of-control Lazy Susan? This by far is lazier and worse than the Flex Belt and Contour. At least with those ab machines you could do other things while wearing them, but you can’t do anything at all on the Hawaii Chair! What does it mean to go 2,800 RPMs?
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: October 2009
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html
Sunday, October 25, 2009. A Little Awesome: The Ab Lounge. Tony Little can sell anything. Part of the reason we have delayed this post is just the mere fact that we think the Ab Lounge is pretty cool. Hey! It’s a lounge and. How cool is that? Well, we could always make fun of his hair. Something about 20 percent and steel—sounds true, at least.) Of course, we could deny the veracity of everything he does, but one must genuinely wonder: is everything. Our minds then switched to that inane talking head nex...
frownpower.blogspot.com
The Abpocalypse is Nigh: The Not So Airtight Air Climber
http://frownpower.blogspot.com/2009/12/not-so-airtight-air-climber.html
Monday, December 21, 2009. The Not So Airtight Air Climber. To start things off, we must ask: what exactly is a “ Limited. Does this mean that the lifetime (either of the machine or you [or both? Is limited, and they can only warrant that limited life? We are not quite sure why they have a limited lifetime warrantee and why they would proudly announce that in their commercial. This acronym is by far the worst we have encountered to date. First of all, “apt” is actually a word, so that cou...Sorry about t...
