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Highly Unorganized Mob Fails to Storm Castle // Atomic Icebox

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FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. Highly Unorganized Mob Fails to Storm Castle. With multiple corpses recently exhumed from the local graveyard and the number of missing villagers on the rise, Transylvanian citizens met Thursday evening to discuss rumors that Dr. Ivan Vonderkill, the new resident of Vonderkill Castle, has constructed a monster assembled from reanimated corpses. 8220;I say we go up there and show the good doctor that we won’t stand for a repeat of his grandfather’s crimes against nature! 8220;I thoug...

Hamburglar Enters Rehab After Attacking Mayor McCheese // Atomic Icebox

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FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. Hamburglar Enters Rehab After Attacking Mayor McCheese. After spending the weekend in jail for allegedly eating a portion of Mayor McCheese’s head, the Hamburglar, longtime McDonald’s mascot, checked himself into an undisclosed Malibu rehab facility this morning. He briefly spoke to reporters before entering the facility. 8220;It took both Ronald and Grimace to pull the Hamburglar off, and when they did, I saw a large chunk was missing from McCheese’s head,” said Travis. While the H...

Area Man’s Craving for Brains May Be Symptom of Swine Flu // Atomic Icebox

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FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. Area Man’s Craving for Brains May Be Symptom of Swine Flu. Langdon, VA) Langdon County resident Kevin Tucker’s decaying. Flesh and constant craving for human brains have local health experts suspecting he may have contracted swine flu after a recent trip to Mexico. County health officials are awaiting test results to determine. If Tucker contracted swine flu after vacationing in Cancun in August with his girlfriend, Megan Johnson. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Atomic Access: Bryan Murdaugh // Atomic Icebox

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FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. Atomic Access: Bryan Murdaugh. I recently met Bryan Murdaugh, a Catholic dad, youth minister, songwriter and musician living in Irmo, S.C. And by “met” I mean “accidentally ran over with my car.” Bryan agreed to not sue me if I would plug his new album,. Which will be available November 17 at www.bryanmurdaugh.com. Let’s pretend I’m an alien who has just arrived on your planet. Out of all the available music, why should I listen to your new album,. Wow Well, I’d say that…. To promot...

Tiny Mouse Brings Feminist Convention to Hysterical Halt // Atomic Icebox

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FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. Tiny Mouse Brings Feminist Convention to Hysterical Halt. Baltimore, MD) High-pitched shrieks and hysterical, flailing women brought the afternoon symposium at the National Feminist Convention (NFC) in Baltimore to a halt Friday afternoon when a mouse ran across the floor of the packed Baltimore Convention Center. Equality in the workplace. Rogers, who was speaking on the fallacy that women can’t do some jobs men can, said the sudden cries from the crowd startled her. While women at...