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mydrunktexts.com

Everyone was so shocked to hear that she was a virgin they were speechless. I said I could cure that problem for her and we hooked up. It was that simple. - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/62637

F You, Auto Correct! This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream? Yeah, she had to clean it up. i hit her hair, face, chest, stomach, leg, bed, dresser, floor, two stuffed animals and her Bible. I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace. Why the hell did a picture of your cooch show up on my phone (rec'd) WTF? I SENT THAT TO MARK! Sent) no, evidently you sent it to your whole contact list. Vote Up New Texts. More texts from (440). Reply...

mydrunktexts.com

Dude last night was epic shit. Like bigger than anything we ever did. People lost articles of clothing in the club - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/62636

F You, Auto Correct! I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower. I just looked at your mugshot online. I fucking love the internet. I just took my boyfriends virginity.on my birthday.win? I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster. I'm trying to masturbate but it just won't work, my fingers fail hardcore in comparison to your dick. Vote Up New Texts. More texts from (318).

mydrunktexts.com

Ultimate walk of shame, had to walk 3 houses down and across the street in nothin but a towel while the neighbors family was outside staring - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/62638

F You, Auto Correct! I think an attempted suicide would help my book sell. I will never be drunk enough to tell you that I can't stand your husband. However I am close! How many walk of shames do you think you've done from my house (1816): I don't know but enough that I've started waving to the neighbors on my way to my car. Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet. Vote Up New Texts. More texts from (817). Optional, used f...

mydrunktexts.com

I was at the top of the stairs. Then i blinked. And i was at the bottom of the stairs. And there was rugburn on my face. - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/42986

F You, Auto Correct! I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision? I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building. Sent) Did you two really fuck? Rec'vd) No, we just rolled around naked for an hour making noises. He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt. I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick. Vote Up New Texts. More texts from (406). Omg that made me laugh so hard. Reply...

mydrunktexts.com

Last night at 6 am "bring on the trumpets." - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/51

F You, Auto Correct! No Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. Half the guys here just got up and did lady gaga's exact dance to bad romance. That's how i know i'm not getting any tonight. How the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? What is this phenomenon? Duuude.I wish I was a cat. No only are they covered in fur.but they get to walk around naked ALL DAY! Vote Up New Texts.

mydrunktexts.com

Best nights of today - (MDT): My Drunk Texts

http://mydrunktexts.com/top/today

F You, Auto Correct! I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. I was told last night while giving a blowjob that my hands felt like silk on his dick. Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter. Hes like the tenth guy to go down on me without me having to do anything in return. damn im good. Vote Up New Texts. Best nights of today. Remember The Pics From Last Night? Is a BFD Network.

mydrunktexts.com

Submit Your Drunk Texts From Last Night to (MDT)

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F You, Auto Correct! Shut the fuck up you popcorn looking motherfuckerrr. My dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. Why the hell did you leave me at ihop? Rec'd): Cause you passed out and I couldn't wake you up. I left you there an hour and a half ago, are you just waking up? Oh my God. They had to call an ambulance on a girl in Keiffer. She fell off her top bunk while fucking. Bad news bears. You need to come take care of this. State Universit...

mydrunktexts.com

Worst nights of today - (MDT): My Drunk Texts

http://mydrunktexts.com/flop/today

F You, Auto Correct! She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared". In laymen's terms don't fucking drive! 1-254): Who is laymen? 254): Laymen is an idiot. I took my new boyfriend out to meet my friends. my ex bf turned up and was buying drinks for everyone. now my ex bf and my current bf are going on a man date tomorrow. wtf? Sir, it's only an hour flight. Vote Up New Texts.

mydrunktexts.com

(rec'd): Id fuck ur mittens! - (MDT)

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/2572

F You, Auto Correct! Last night, some1 caled securit 4 my stero 2 loudd. i took the sec guard to the bar to avoid the tickt MDT. I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil! To the cab driver. Dude i cant believe how drunk she is! Recv'd) dude shes throwing up and drinking the toilet water to try and sober up. (sent) poor lauren ;[. I sometimes put on war paint before i beat it.