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Balloon Goes Bang

Bursting your sad little dreams one pinprick at a time.

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Balloon Goes Bang | balloongoesbang.com Reviews
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Bursting your sad little dreams one pinprick at a time.
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1 ambition
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6 desire
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9 advice
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are you sure,0 comments,spoilsports,2 comments,labels abdication,big bang,broken dreams,burst balloon,failed writer,fizzle,laziness,screaming at pigeons,tap tap,tears,vacation,job right,labels ********,careers advice,change of scene,corporate bumfuck,doom
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Balloon Goes Bang | balloongoesbang.com Reviews

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Bursting your sad little dreams one pinprick at a time.

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1

Balloon Goes Bang: So you want to JOIN PETA

http://www.balloongoesbang.com/2009/06/so-you-want-to-join-peta.html

Friday, June 19, 2009. So you want to JOIN PETA. Is being a sanctimonious, self-satisfied, yogurt-knitted moaner on your own not good enough for you? Do you feel the need to spout your pious, wholemeal moralizing as part of a group? Do you want to prove to the world that the misguided dietary preferences of a bunch of over-privileged whiners can be even more annoying than we all thought possible? Of course you do. So please realize that, no matter what you might think about fur, there are better ways of ...

2

Balloon Goes Bang: So you want to be a PRO CYCLIST

http://www.balloongoesbang.com/2009/07/so-you-want-to-be-pro-cyclist.html

Friday, July 10, 2009. So you want to be a PRO CYCLIST. Dear god, why? So the question is why go to all the trouble of popping enough pills to kill a horse just to get to the top of the mountain a few minutes quicker, when it would be much easier and more fun to get loaded and drive there instead? Posted by Pinna Hindenburg. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). So you want to be a CHEF. So you want to buy an iPHONE. So you want to join PETA. So you want to be a BLOGGER. So you want to drive a BIG TRUCK.

3

Balloon Goes Bang: So you want to be a CHEF

http://www.balloongoesbang.com/2009/07/so-you-want-to-be-chef.html

Friday, July 17, 2009. So you want to be a CHEF. Look at that face. Really, look at it. Take your time. Look at that half-inflated leather punchbag of a face and think about all the grief and abuse that's going to come out of it, fast-flowing floods of fuck-flavored humiliation, all of it directed at you. OK, maybe not from that actual. Posted by Pinna Hindenburg. This one makes me giggle. im surprised there havent been more stabbings in the kitchen with assholes in charge! July 17, 2009 at 12:50 PM.

4

Balloon Goes Bang: So you want to buy an iPHONE

http://www.balloongoesbang.com/2009/07/so-you-want-to-buy-iphone.html

Friday, July 3, 2009. So you want to buy an iPHONE. Sorry, no, our mistake. You don't want. An iPhone. You need. To be able to connect to the internet every single minute of every single day. Because you need. To post twatface updates about every half-formed fart of a thought that pops into your tiny mind. Because you need. A clever gadget to tell you complicated stuff like where you are and what direction you're facing. Because you need. Sent from my iPhone. Posted by Pinna Hindenburg. Fuck You, Penguin.

5

Balloon Goes Bang: So you want to CHANGE THE WORLD

http://www.balloongoesbang.com/2009/07/so-you-want-to-change-world.html

Friday, July 24, 2009. So you want to CHANGE THE WORLD. In your heart or your gut or wherever it is you do most of your thinking that everything would be so much better if only other people could see the world the way you do. Congratulations, world citizen: you've just done your civic duty. You must be proud. Posted by Pinna Hindenburg. Big dumb fuck truck. Why cant we all just get along. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). So you want to be a CHEF. So you want to buy an iPHONE. So you want to join PETA.

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The Boogie Man Speaks: 01/10

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html

January 5, 2010. And rather than simply flip through them in the quiet contemplation at home, I figured I might as well bare them for all to see in what is sure to be, mass humiliation. So, let's begin. So, my appreciation for eating has only increased. And, my ability to cook hasn't fared to bad either. Not great of course, but I'm less likely to poison someone. Forget it bub, I was a pitiful musician this year. I did record some stuff, and I actually played around quite a bit, but not nearly to the...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: 05/09

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

May 25, 2009. The Backlash Of Clay Aiken. After his absolutely absurd comments. On Friday regarding American Idol contestant Adam Lambert, Clay has issued a public apology. Well, sort of anyways. I mean, he did use the word "apologize" in his public statement, but I wouldn't necessarily his statement a plea for forgiveness. More than anything, he made it a shot at the bloggers of the world (like me! For getting our figurative panties in a bunch. I might be prone to taking it personally. RESPONSE: This is...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: Switching Off

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010/02/switching-off.html

February 24, 2010. I have just encountered a strange phenomenon. Something probably foreign to most of the world, but something probably infinity relateable to those who deal in high stress professions: Doctors, Police Officers, Firemen, Soldiers, and to a lesser extent, the people in the profession I'm studying. And then, the tide turns. Class is canceled, and everyone can go home. But not today. Today, I am mortified. I've noticed traces of this phenomenon. Days when I'm not in the lab I feel agita...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: The End

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/08/end.html

August 26, 2011. As I stare at this blog to which I have not posted a fresh word to, in over a year's time, it becomes very clear that the time to befriend the inevitable has arrived. Suddenly the months and years go by, and that silly little post serves as the epitaph to everything you had composed before. All the things you had written, stuff that was well received and possibly even a little bit popular, it all suffers because it was all left hanging on that one weak note. Which I still stand by god da...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: And I Quote

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010/10/and-i-quote.html

October 22, 2010. But if you fuck up a sandwich, you're dead to me. Labels: And I Quote. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Subscribe in a reader. The Boogie Man is a notorious writer, cook, teacher, and musician. He has been published on Flashshot, heads the musical group Bastard Groove Orchestra, Graduate with honors of the SLCC Culinary Institute, and former instructor of life saving skills to a once-willing public. Overheard In The Office. A Future In Noise. This Is Why You're Fat. The Mad Tea Party.

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: 08/09

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html

August 31, 2009. At Some Point, They're Just Best Described As Dumb. I'm a man of pretty even temper. There's no way in hell you don't know any better! Perhaps they smoke cigarettes on their porches while their kids run amok, or blast their way too loud car stereos at inappropriate times.you know the little things. Those annoying acts that the dumb-fucks and dipshits of the world do, despite being completely pointless and somewhat dense. It's unforgivable in this day and age to be so dumb. August 28, 2009.

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: The Warface

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010/02/warface.html

February 9, 2010. Alright, let's be totally frank here: I really don't know jack about much of anything. So why, why, why, please tell me why, people are actually coming up to me and asking questions like I actually know shit? Should I do this or that? It's not looking right, what should I do? I hear these questions all the time. And yet, here we are. I'm getting questions from all sorts of people. Taste tests, problem solving, suggestions, the whole shebang. Why is my word so damn important? The Boogie ...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: 03/10

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

March 6, 2010. I know Yahoo has never claimed to be an authority on the news. And I know they're a company in pain, who's biggest draw at this point is their willingness to dish relentlessly on celebrity goings-on. I'm aware of all these things, but that doesn't mean I have to like them. And I reaaaaallly don't like them when they actually work too. Or, you could get what happened the other day; an article so offensive and rage building, that it's amazing I didn't foam at the mouth and die on the spot.

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: 06/09

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html

June 23, 2009. Jon And Kate Divorce. Hey America, did you know that Jon and Kate of "Jon And Kate Plus 8" are getting divorced? All I can say about this matter is THANK FUCKING GOD! Never in my life have I had something so inconsequential rammed down my throat. I couldn't turn anywhere to escape it. It was on the radio, in magazines, on every news feed I hit up, commercials were rampant about this whole thing. Commercials! On stations that don't even show the fucking program! I find it amazing at the pot...

boogiespeaks.blogspot.com boogiespeaks.blogspot.com

The Boogie Man Speaks: 02/10

http://boogiespeaks.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

February 24, 2010. I have just encountered a strange phenomenon. Something probably foreign to most of the world, but something probably infinity relateable to those who deal in high stress professions: Doctors, Police Officers, Firemen, Soldiers, and to a lesser extent, the people in the profession I'm studying. And then, the tide turns. Class is canceled, and everyone can go home. But not today. Today, I am mortified. I've noticed traces of this phenomenon. Days when I'm not in the lab I feel agita...

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Balloon Goes Bang

Friday, August 19, 2011. So you want to be a GRAFFITI ARTIST. Can you write your own name? You'd better start practicing, endlessly, on random walls, and cars, and trash cans, and street signs with a big marker pen, until you're really really sure you can spell it right. Otherwise how will you be able to sign your work when you eventually get round to drawing a picture, perhaps of a dog, or a cat on a mat. Posted by Pinna Hindenburg. Friday, August 28, 2009. So you want to be a PESSIMIST. Doesn't the gra...

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