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Things That Never Happened: October 2009
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Things That Never Happened. Wednesday, October 14, 2009. This poses one giant, massive question: Who the hell do you think you are? What are you afraid of? Your friends are still your friends whether you eliminate your last name or not. They can still see your pictures, your Farmville chaos and your Perez Hilton fan page. Ok, ok, you don't want people to be able to search for you. Well then how do you expect to network? How do you expect to spy on new people? Changing your birth certificate? Trees that h...
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Things That Never Happened: Etiquette in 7 Easy Steps
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Things That Never Happened. Sunday, March 31, 2013. Etiquette in 7 Easy Steps. How to properly behave in an Ivy League university library in New York City:. 2 Get lost. Go down a few flights of stairs/stares. Turn right, left, and then whatever direction you choose. If you find yourself amongst books, smusty mells, and sweaty college students - you're on your way. 5 Oppa bathroom time. 6 Return to your stuff. Thank Mr. Marathon for his generosity of time and spirit and carry on with your activity.
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It's All Too Much: I want to sex you up!
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It's All Too Much. Friday, November 13, 2009. I want to sex you up! When I saw that the Color Me Badd episode of 90210 was on today I got really excited! As you saw in my chat with Becky from the previous post this was a seminal moment in my young life. My favorite tv show was 90210 and one of my favorite bands was Color Me Badd – the two together – um, perfection! Now, I suppose I should be ashamed to admit this, but screw it, I totally wore out that Color Me Badd cassette, they totally rocked! So, if y...
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It's All Too Much: November 2008
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It's All Too Much. Sunday, November 02, 2008. Countdown to Obamageddon: less than 48 hours until polls start closing. Just to update all of you, I am in fact going mental. I hope all of you are dealing with the upcoming election better than I am, if you are, any wisdom from you would be much appreciated (though lets be honest, something is kinda wrong with you if you are dealing with this sanely). This entertained me, though it also made me uncomfortable because I mean, how stupid can these people be?
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Things That Never Happened: August 2010
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Things That Never Happened. Wednesday, August 18, 2010. Keep Your Hands Dry. Always. Last night I was at my comedy class and during our 10 minute break I went to the bathroom. Business was taken care of and I meandered over the the sink for my post-tinkle wash-up. I use only luke warm water when I cleanse my hands/soul. I was late for the second half of class, but I was fine with that. I had conquered the beast. Copernicus once said, "He who overcomes obstacles with great intensity and cold breat...
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Things That Never Happened: 3 More Deadly Poems
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Things That Never Happened. Thursday, June 16, 2011. 3 More Deadly Poems. 1) There once was a guy named Chuck,. He was always running out of luck,. One day he went hiking and was eaten by wolves,. And boy, did that really suck. 2) There once was a girl named Kate,. She was always running late,. One day she got lost and was eaten by wolves,. And was on time at the Pearly Gate. 3) There once was a fellow named Mike,. He was always riding his bike,. One day he fell down, but wasn't eaten by wolves,.
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Things That Never Happened: Four More Deadly Poems, (Famous People Edition)
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Things That Never Happened. Friday, July 8, 2011. Four More Deadly Poems, (Famous People Edition). There once was a lady, Gaga her name,. Almost the same,. One day she was on stage and was eaten by wolves,. Not the fault of a person, as the 80s were to blame. There once was a woman named Kesha. Her hair was blond, her shirts mesh-a,. One day she became irrelevant, and was eaten by wolves,. And people cared even less-a. There once was a man named Jay-Z,. I'm king of hip-hop, he did decree,.
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Things That Never Happened: March 2013
http://imonlykidding.blogspot.com/2013_03_01_archive.html
Things That Never Happened. Sunday, March 31, 2013. Etiquette in 7 Easy Steps. How to properly behave in an Ivy League university library in New York City:. 2 Get lost. Go down a few flights of stairs/stares. Turn right, left, and then whatever direction you choose. If you find yourself amongst books, smusty mells, and sweaty college students - you're on your way. 5 Oppa bathroom time. 6 Return to your stuff. Thank Mr. Marathon for his generosity of time and spirit and carry on with your activity.
imonlykidding.blogspot.com
Things That Never Happened: 3 More Deadly Poems, Part III
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Things That Never Happened. Monday, July 18, 2011. 3 More Deadly Poems, Part III. A man named Hank, an artist and a poet, was walking near the lake,. He turned around and saw something move, the bushes began to shake. Then a pack of wolves surrounded him, the world became dark as night,. Poor Hank was then sadly eaten and he could no longer write. A woman named Gail was gardening. Petunias, gardenias, and rose,. A wolf came out of nowhere and she went quickly for the hose. August 9, 2011 at 10:31 PM.