benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: April 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_04_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Tuesday, April 26, 2005. The Grass is Always Greener, But Not in My Yard. Spring greening never ceases to amaze me. The grass is a sad shade of tan/yellow/olive all winter, and every April it springs back to life. As it turns to a lovely shade of deep green I think, All right! The lawn’s greening up! A few weeks later, Hey, that grass is getting long out there. Then, in early May, Okay, where’s the dog? First of all, sharpen the blades. My method is t...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: September 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Wednesday, September 28, 2005. This Post Will Put You to Sleep! I snore. No, that’s not right. I impersonate a jackhammer. Sometimes my kids burst into the room because they think we’re having an earthquake. Snoring can be more than an irritation. It can cause sleep apnea. There is a device for apneatics, called a CPAP (constant positive air pressure). It’s a pump that supplies constant air pressure into the person’s nose and/or mouth via a mask. ...The e...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: May 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Saturday, May 14, 2005. Don’t Be a Nincom-poop. I want to talk about a serious national problem: people who don’t pick up their dogs’ doodies. Those of us who do our doody duty, or don’t have pets, would appreciate it if dog owners would kindly remove their pets’ depth charges so that the rest of us don’t accidentally step on them or run them over with our lawnmowers. We would like to work and play without fearing these land mines. Letting a dog off leash...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: June 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Tuesday, June 28, 2005. A dog that looks a certain way but has no other redeeming qualities is, in my not-so-humble opinion, no more valuable than a short-tempered, anorexic fashion model. Which reminds me, have you seen the runway skeletons that supposedly represent beauty? If they ever breastfeed, they’ll give skim milk. Posted by ben 2005 @ 12:54 PM. Monday, June 20, 2005. Dying to Be Ripped Off. Why is it so expensive? You bury Fred in a pine box!
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: April 2007
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Tuesday, April 24, 2007. For a few months now, my roommate Carl and I have been considering getting a big-screen television. Actually he’s. Been considering buying one; I’ve. Been considering watching it, because I’m cheaper than a Thai hooker. Let me put it this way: Would you stay with someone who lies, cheats, and spends all your money? Well, neither would she. Security threat level colors or political correctness. We rode bikes without helmets and...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: July 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Tuesday, July 12, 2005. You know what I like best about summer? Avoiding the beach. What? You exclaim. What do you mean you don’t like the beach, you pinko commie! But my dislike of the beach has nothing to do with my progressively sagging torso. It’s because I don’t like all the packing, driving, schlepping and crowds. Plus I don’t feel like sitting among a bunch of half-naked strangers; if I want to do that, I’ll attend a Senate party. A half hour later...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: November 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Monday, November 28, 2005. Can you believe it? I’m a legal guardian. I have two unfortunate stepchildren whose stepdad makes beer at home and brushes his dogs’ teeth. Speaking of college, I heard they changed the SAT so that there is now an essay question. That’s all well and good, but isn’t a person’s score then subject to the opinions of the graders? And since different people will be grading different tests, won’t that make the scoring inconsistent?
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: December 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Wednesday, December 28, 2005. The Blizzard of 2003. Day 1: Saturday 2/15. First day of snow. No big deal. Snow plows came through and put down salt and sand. At Safeway we fought for food, water and duct tape. The distilled and spring water were all gone due to the terrorism scare, but there was still plenty of Evian, which just goes to show that at $3 a quart, people would rather die. Walking thigh-high in snow made us realize just how far away our neare...
benranting.blogspot.com
Ramblings: August 2005
http://benranting.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_archive.html
Opinions, observations, and personal experiences. Saturday, August 27, 2005. The Old Fogeys Hit the Town. One spring evening I went with a bunch of friends to the new (but not improved) Hammerjacks, a large dance club / bar in Baltimore. Several of us used to frequent the old Hammerjacks a decade and a half earlier, so we decided to check out the new location in order to 1) satisfy our curiosity, and 2) see just how much we had aged. Apparently he had gone to the Mike Tyson School of Etiquette. The music...
