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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Thursday, April 21, 2011. The Dolphin sauntered out into the hallway and dropped the two pieces of my broken gomdo sword into the waste basket next to the water cooler. You broke my sword, I said. They were doing La-la-loo, the Dolphin said, his hands shaking and eyes twitching. I am not Japanese. I’m trying to help them. That sword cost 70,000 won, I said. (About 70 American dollars.). Eyes twitching, he returned to the classroom. When they went to the Dolphin’s math ...

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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein | benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com Reviews

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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Thursday, April 21, 2011. The Dolphin sauntered out into the hallway and dropped the two pieces of my broken gomdo sword into the waste basket next to the water cooler. You broke my sword, I said. They were doing La-la-loo, the Dolphin said, his hands shaking and eyes twitching. I am not Japanese. I’m trying to help them. That sword cost 70,000 won, I said. (About 70 American dollars.). Eyes twitching, he returned to the classroom. When they went to the Dolphin’s math ...

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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein | benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com Reviews

https://benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Thursday, April 21, 2011. The Dolphin sauntered out into the hallway and dropped the two pieces of my broken gomdo sword into the waste basket next to the water cooler. You broke my sword, I said. They were doing La-la-loo, the Dolphin said, his hands shaking and eyes twitching. I am not Japanese. I’m trying to help them. That sword cost 70,000 won, I said. (About 70 American dollars.). Eyes twitching, he returned to the classroom. When they went to the Dolphin’s math ...

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benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com

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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein: The Terrorist

http://www.benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com/2011/04/terrorist.html

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Sunday, April 17, 2011. That concludes our crash drill, the captain's sturdy voice said over the loudspeaker. Please remain in your seats until we regain our cruising altitude. The passengers looked at each other, and smiles broke out on their faces. They laughed aloud. And joked about how frightened they had been. Gary asked the woman next to him. Are we going to die? Didn't you hear what the captain said? It was only a crash drill. What's a crash drill? Safety instru...

2

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein: July 2007

http://www.benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com/2007_07_01_archive.html

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Thursday, July 26, 2007. The townspeople peered out of the small shops lining the road and gawked at this strange new sight. Some approached for a closer look, and some even hopped up onto the gazebo for a bird’s-eye view. For many of them, Ben supposed, this was their first time seeing a flower. They had probably only heard about flowers before in storybooks. You want to help? Not in my job description, Derrick swatted at a swarm of mosquitoes swirling around him.

3

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein: March 2007

http://www.benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Sunday, March 25, 2007. When Ben worked at the restaurant, he tried to start a union with his co-dishwasher, Juan. This was unsuccessful because Juan didn't speak Englsh and Ben didn't speak Spanish. Ben had to use charades to get his message across. He pointed to Juan, then to himself. Then he held up his hands and clasped them together: the two dishwashers coming together in a union. Juan raised his eyebrows, pointed at Ben, and made a limp wrist gesture. Ben conside...

4

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein: August 2007

http://www.benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Wednesday, August 29, 2007. The mosquitoes were out in force because of the humid weather, but the guests in their fancy evening-wear weren’t affected. They crowded close to Derrick in the gazebo and he soaked up all the bugs. A pile of dead swatted mosquitoes lay on the floor around him. They knew the mosquitoes weren’t biting them, but didn’t think about why. Derrick was the Higgs Boson that kept the mosquitoes away. The caterers were the Higgs Boson that bro...Ben w...

5

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein: April 2007

http://www.benjaminfishbein.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Sunday, April 29, 2007. NOTE: I DECIDED THAT MRS. ROSEMAN IS A BAD NAME FOR A WOMAN WHO OWNS A FLOWER GARDEN. FROM NOW ON, SHE’S JUST ELIZABETH. (UNTIL I CAN THINK OF A BETTER NAME). Ben’s apartment still had no furniture. Stephanie sat on the floor, on the orange carpet with the cigarette burns in it. Ben stood before her, passionately reciting a poem called Tulip Love. The scent of your pollen makes me feel like a honeybee, he said. It’s just like Cyrano de Bergerac&...

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In Debate, Palin Confirms McCain’s Vocabulary | Looking for the Bathroom

https://stephshimko.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/in-debate-palin-confirms-mccains-vocabulary

Looking for the Bathroom. October 3, 2008. In Debate, Palin Confirms McCain’s Vocabulary. Posted in fake news. At 12:34 pm by stephshimkooo. In the Vice-Presidential debate Thursday night, Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Joe Biden had the opportunity to clear up some of the misconceptions about themselves and each of the presidential candidates. Governor Palin made sure to let it be known that “ John McCain knows what evil is. The Key to Understanding. How Can We Trust a Man Like This? 4 Comments ».

stephshimko.wordpress.com

Congress to Approve Funding to Develop “Money Tree” | Looking for the Bathroom

https://stephshimko.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/congress-to-approve-funding-to-develop-money-tree

Looking for the Bathroom. October 2, 2008. Congress to Approve Funding to Develop “Money Tree”. Posted in fake news. At 10:03 pm by stephshimkooo. It was Thompson’s sarcastic remark that finally lead to a breakthrough in the debate about how to save the economy. “Nobody was thinking outside the box,” a congressional aide said as he unwrapped his trademark green straw, “not until then.”. As the room broke down into shouts and bickering, doodles of trees with green paper leaves became wadded paper bombs, s...

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Palin Turns my Fake Quote into a Real Quote | Looking for the Bathroom

https://stephshimko.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/palin-turns-my-fake-quote-into-a-real-quote

Looking for the Bathroom. October 6, 2008. Palin Turns my Fake Quote into a Real Quote. Posted in fake news. At 11:26 am by stephshimkooo. A few days ago, I wrote a satirical post entitled “ In Debate, Palin confirms McCain’s vocabulary. In a story on Yahoo today from the Associated Press entitled “Palin defends terroist comment against Obama,” writer Jim Kuhnhenn quoted Mrs. Palin’s response to some of her criticism:. Tried and True Comedic Value. 6 Comments ». October 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm. But yeah, she...

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SABIS Threats and Intimidation (and Lies) Round 4 | Looking for the Bathroom

https://stephshimko.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/sabis-threats-and-intimidation-and-lies-round-4

Looking for the Bathroom. September 1, 2008. SABIS Threats and Intimidation (and Lies) Round 4. At 11:23 am by stephshimkooo. Please refer to Round 3 for some background info:. Then it was my turn. I went into the room and saw E1 sitting behind a large desk surrounded by files. I sat down in a chair in front of the desk and greeted him. I was alone in the room with E1. 8220;You and your friends disssssssGUST me.”. 8220;Disgust you. Wow.” I nodded. 8220;Yes, disgust me.”. The Feeling I Inspire. 8221; He g...

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Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein

Short Stories by Benjamin Fishbein. Thursday, April 21, 2011. The Dolphin sauntered out into the hallway and dropped the two pieces of my broken gomdo sword into the waste basket next to the water cooler. You broke my sword, I said. They were doing La-la-loo, the Dolphin said, his hands shaking and eyes twitching. I am not Japanese. I’m trying to help them. That sword cost 70,000 won, I said. (About 70 American dollars.). Eyes twitching, he returned to the classroom. When they went to the Dolphin’s math ...

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