pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/abandoned-rooms.html
Saturday, August 8, 2009. After learning my lesson about what it means to ignore others, I responded back to both my ex-husband and my other ex who is now in France. My ex-husband had wanted to initiate more conversation, through text, mostly along the lines of how he hopes we can re-establish intermittant communication, that he understands that we'll never have an intimate relationship again, and how even if. Had wanted such a thing, he no longer deems me worthy of being a partner. For a couple of years...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/benchmark-nigh.html
Sunday, August 9, 2009. Do I attempt to contact him immediately? Will I seem wanton and needy? Do I really care? Will I appear desperate? If my seeing him reset the clock, should I wait and try later? I miss him so much, and there are two more days to go before I can make, break, or consider anything. I'm a gay man from Reno, Nevada who now lives in the Bay Area (hopefully soon to be San Francisco). I've been blogging. This collection of random thoughts can be explicit! Taking the last ditch effort.
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/rationalemotional-see-saw.html
Tuesday, August 18, 2009. Tonight soulmate and I went out to a movie. I really had been trying not to go to a movie because I really can't afford the entertainment, but in order to see him, it was really the only option. The only other option that he was willing to go for was another one he had suggested, and that was coming to my place to watch a film. I'm a gay man from Reno, Nevada who now lives in the Bay Area (hopefully soon to be San Francisco). I've been blogging. This little corner is my personal...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/conflicted-and-distant.html
Sunday, August 23, 2009. I'm feeling conflicted about so many things. I thought I found someone who loved me for me, but realized that it wasn't the case. I thought I loved him back, but realized that without trust, there is no love. I don't trust him, and I'm starting to seriously doubt my conceptualization of soul mates. Yes we have a lot in common, and yes we have some very deep values that are shared. However, beyond that, there is no trust. I don't need to take it. For a couple of years but had take...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
Saturday, April 12, 2008. My doctor called me up a couple of days ago to ask if I wanted to go out to dinner with him and his partner. He seemed a bit giddy, and when I asked him why, he gushed that the guy he had introduced me to a week or so ago was really interested. He was basically setting us up. After dinner was over, we hugged our mutual friends and decided that we should both go out to desert somewhere together. We headed off to the Chocolate Bar and continued chatting well into the night....
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/ripping-my-own-heart.html
Monday, August 17, 2009. Ripping my own heart. I'm a gay man from Reno, Nevada who now lives in the Bay Area (hopefully soon to be San Francisco). I've been blogging. For a couple of years but had taken a break from writing to clear my head. I've been in two relationships lasting over the past ten years, and I'm still. This collection of random thoughts can be explicit! Stalking tactics and the feelings thereafter. Tomorrow is just any other day. Taking the last ditch effort.
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/reacting.html
Friday, August 28, 2009. As time continues to wax, I continue to feel like I'm growing more and more distant from soul mate. This past weekend, we had scheduled to meet up again, but he's rescheduled several times and our recent emails have left me feeling frustrated and defensive. A week after our previously scheduled rendezvous, he's still rescheduling. How cheap of them! Don't they give you guys any discretion at all about giving people better rates or free upgrades or ANYTHING? By 5:30 I hadn't heard...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/closing-doors.html
Saturday, August 29, 2009. The man I used to call my soul mate bantered around meeting up with me tonight through e-mail, after over a week of cancelling previous meetings. Tonight he emailed me after some afternoon thing he did, asking if I was milling about or if I had other plans. I must come to realize that he doesn't love me. He is not my soul mate. He plays with my emotions. I let him. I need to transition that to past tense now. This little corner is my personal space. Here I can chronicle my ...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2009/08/stalking-tactics-and-feelings.html
Tuesday, August 11, 2009. Stalking tactics and the feelings thereafter. The day has come, and I forced a conversation with soulmate by waiting in front of his house until he came home. And we talked on the street for three hours. I have hope. He says he loves me and I believe him. He says he needs time and it hurts. He says he needs me to make the next several moves to know if I'm the right one to be in his life. I'm more confused than ever. Do I really want this? Can I really live with this guilt? This ...
pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com
Pogonip and Playa Dust
http://pogonipandplayadust.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html
Monday, December 31, 2007. In the air again! I'm off to North Carolina, and hopefully I can figure out some of the difficult things that have been floating around in my head about my friendships and my life. I have friends who are my family, more my family than blood has ever offered me. I must figure myself out, I must figure out my muddled feelings. Speaking of muddled feelings, I received a text message from my ex-husband today. His birthday is today. I still haven't responded. I took him up on it....
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT