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Laugh potion: August 2006
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006. A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you? The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines.". An aging man l...
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Laugh potion: May 2006
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Monday, May 22, 2006. Things I Learn in College. 1 Quarters are like gold. 2 Be creative in the dining hall. 3 Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc. 4 You will never find so many excuses for a bucket. 5 Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. 6 New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben and Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos. 7 Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries. 8 Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.). 25 Frat parties are...
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Laugh potion: March 2006
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Friday, March 31, 2006. Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are Delusional, press 7, your call will be transfered to the Mothership. If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696. Posted by Harith the Great at 4:18 PM.
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Laugh potion: June 2006
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Sunday, June 25, 2006. She said. "Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know? You left your wheelchair at the bar again.". Posted by Harith the Great at 11:49 PM. Links to this post. Thursday, June 15, 2006. Things In Football That Sound Dirty - But Aren't. 20 The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. 19 He came at his blind side and got him from behind. 18 He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow. 17 It's a game of inches. 16 That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.
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Laugh potion: June 2008
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008. A Witty Young Trial Lawyer. A young trial lawyer. Was defending a man accused of burglary, known for being witty (and the judge knows this) tried yet another one of his creative defenses. The judge, while not known for having a sense of humor, decided to here the young lawyer out. Well put, the judge replied. Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he so chooses. Posted by Harith the Great at 4:43 AM.
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Laugh potion: July 2006
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006. A truck driver hauling a tractor trailer filled with computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door reading, "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter at Your Own Risk.". As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. Links to this post. Puzzled by he...
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Laugh potion: April 2006
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Saturday, April 29, 2006. Really Really Bad Wife. A woman goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.". Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. Posted by Harith the Great at 12:27 AM. The old r...
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Laugh potion: October 2006
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006. Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say. 10 Well, how 'bout that? Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9 You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 8 I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude . I like that. 7 Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car - GO CRAZY. 6 What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
