oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: Discovering History
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2014/12/discovering-history.html
Thursday, December 11, 2014. With some gentle encouragement from some friends I decided to pursue getting my medical records from my illness. I've thought about it often, but never been brave enough to carry through. I've even taken screen shots of addresses to write. On one occasion I even emailed for information to find out how. But I just never carried through. It seems like such a small insignificant amount. It's my life. My life is held within that amount. Posted by Oscar T. Grouch. 365 days of 2009.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: Emotional wreck
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2015/06/emotional-wreck.html
Monday, June 22, 2015. Crying at the drop of a hat. Tears for any sentimentality. Emotion carried on the cuff. Ready to explode at the tiniest thing. Emotions are overwhelming. Posted by Oscar T. Grouch. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). 365 days of 2009. Beans and Other Things. FM - Compassion in Action. Kerry Wood Nature Center. Simple template. Template images by gaffera.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: What to do when you are breaking?
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2015/04/what-to-do-when-you-are-breaking.html
Tuesday, April 07, 2015. What to do when you are breaking? What does a person do when they are breaking? When there is nothing to look forward to? When there is nothing but pain? When there is nothing but anguish? When there is nothing but a deep black hole of nothingness? There truly isn't an explanation or understanding of depression until you are there. Every single time you've hit rock bottom and think you can't possibly go down any further and yet something happens to go even deeper. 365 days of 2009.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: Flash back to blood draws
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2015/04/flash-back-to-blood-draws.html
Sunday, April 19, 2015. Flash back to blood draws. The needle sticker dudes attitudes killed me in hospital. I had no veins, none at all. Yet the needle stickers were "it's just a little prick". OMG. No it isn't "just a little prick". You will try three times. Then in ten minutes someone else will try three times then ten minutes after that someone else will try three times. Do that every single blood draw that was scheduled every three hours, day in and day out. And the sly comments. 365 days of 2009.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: November 2014
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2014_11_01_archive.html
Wednesday, November 12, 2014. The Proudest Thing I've Done. Austin and I are getting ready for bed. I'm trying to explain to him that when I lose my temper and rage that it's not him. That he's not bad, that my brain just isn't letting me deal with the situation. I'm not rational. But how to explain that to a little boy? I don't want him to think he is the cause. What he did may have started my meltdown but really it isn't him. It's me. He tells me the Proudest Thing He has Ever Done. Summary as of today.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: May 2015
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2015_05_01_archive.html
Saturday, May 16, 2015. The Obstacle to my freedom. Posted by Oscar T. Grouch. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). 365 days of 2009. Beans and Other Things. FM - Compassion in Action. Kerry Wood Nature Center. The Obstacle to my freedom. Simple template. Template images by gaffera.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: July 2014
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2014_07_01_archive.html
Wednesday, July 30, 2014. Today I was told if I didn't follow two recommendations put forth by counseling that they felt there was nothing they could do. Her words were they would not be inclined to help further. The two recommendations are:. 1) eliminate all TV, electronics, games, internet, social media, movies, computers. 2) enroll the kids in as many activities as I can possibly schedule them into. I'm frustrated. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know where to turn. Posted by Oscar T. Grouch. Take my illness...
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: Putting in time
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2015/02/putting-in-time.html
Tuesday, February 10, 2015. One day, then another, then another. So many days all strung together. Where do they go? I realized tonight that I don't like to start things because I'm scared I'll fail at them. Weird thought eh? So I just don't. I don't want to be a failure. I want to be a success. My entire life others made me feel less. Less worthy, less able, just less. I just can't seem to put myself in that spot of making myself feel less. I didn't used to be this way. (Bad grammar eh? 365 days of 2009.
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: June 2014
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2014_06_01_archive.html
Saturday, June 14, 2014. As a child I had a wicked temper. A wicked one. Never violent, just loud. As I aged it became a non issue and very seldom ever surfaced. Since my SCAs my temper is back. Violence with loudness. I've broken keyboards, thrown things at walls, slammed doors, stomped, and then the loudness. My level of volume is in direct proportion to the frustration I'm under. Not just volume but the words I use. I could curse with the best sailor out there. The real question is why? Today was one ...
oscarisms.blogspot.com
Oscarisms: September 2014
http://oscarisms.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html
Wednesday, September 10, 2014. I'm typically a person that believes owning what you do. You did it, you own it. I lived for 11 months believing that a med I took was at fault for my SCA. That it was my fault. That if it hadn't been for "me", I wouldn't have the brain injury, my family wouldn't be destroyed. My medical team, my family, my friends, were all it's "your fault." Many still do. I had a monumental (for me) realization early this morning. I shouldn't be made to feel less because of complications...
