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AstrologyEXPLAINED: March 2008

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, March 30, 2008. This is Sister Mary's Final Horrorscope. It’s the week of March 30-April 5! Please don’t hate Sister Mary. Aries (March 21-April 19). Taurus (April 20-May 20). Gemini (May 21-June 20). Are you still listening? Cancer (June 21-July 22). The only way to heal from one heartbreak is to replace it with another one. It won’t feel great for us, but it will feel better for our friends, who would love to hear about a new douche. They...Yup Yup&#46...

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: November 2007

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, November 25, 2007. Turkey is done.but Sister Mary's Warehouse lives on! Why shop online or at the mall when you can help your favorite asstrologer nun pay off rehab? Super-cool holiday presents for you and yours! Sister Mary Manhattan breaks down the sun/moon/rising and 12 houses to explain why you (or your favorite brat) is such a crazy bitch or bastard! 40 (or two for $65). The Cheap Bastard’s Chart:. The Severe Douchebag Chart:. When we last left Arie...

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: October 2007

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Monday, October 22, 2007. Greetings, charming sinners! Many thanks to all of you who donated to Sister Mary’s Prophetic Guinness Fund! If you’re feeling obscenely guilty that you did not contribute to this (sort of) worthy cause, it’s absolutely not too late! That little donate button to the right of this paragraph will allow you to do just that, and allow Sister Mary a little more cash on her voyage to Ireland! Now, that being said…. Aries (March 21-April 19).

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: October 2008

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Tuesday, October 21, 2008. All things are temporary. It is with a touch of sadness that I announce that I am retiring AstrologyExplained. It's become clear that I simply cannot keep up with weekly astrological forecasts, as delightful as they may be. I started this blog as a way to break a writer's block, and break it I did (knock on wood)! Thanks to the blog, I've started a number of projects- but those projects need my attention now. :(. Many thanks, sinners!

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: December 2007

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, December 23, 2007. Sister Mary needs a break and is soaking in a mitzvah of nog at the moment. Please forgive her lazy indiscretions brought on by holiday celebrations and really good, old movies on the rec room t.v. Next week.the return of the Horrorscopes with a peek at 2008! Sunday, December 16, 2007. Talk about your Favorite Sag! If you missed Sister Mary’s warehouse (poor wretch…), have no fear! I've only been waiting a freaking yr! They are spastic...

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: August 2007

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, August 26, 2007. Happy Birthday, Kinky Virgins! Yes, it’s the end of the summer. Let’s ignore that fact for a second, as well as that still-nasty Venus in Retrograde which is only going to get murkier and more depressingly introspective with that Pisces full moon this week. Yeesh. Don’t want to even think about how much wine the Convent will consume to combat the upcoming blues. Plan for a lot of cuddles and butterfly kisses, with climatic tears when tha...

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: September 2007

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, September 30, 2007. Gemini Moon and Saturn to Share.have your meds handy. Your Horrorscope forecast this week indicates that if you are in the New York area this weekend…you will find yourself at Stain Bar…for the greatest Saturday night in the world! The Ass-tro Hour with Sister Mary Manhattan. Saturday, Oct. 6, 9:00 PM. 766 Grand Street,Brooklyn. L to Grand, walk 1 block west). Http:/ www.stainbar.com/. Welcome to the week of September 30-October 6!

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: The Effects of Sucktrograde....

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Wednesday, October 1, 2008. The Effects of Sucktrograde. Sister Mary's computer caught a nasty virus last night, and she only has this fleeting moment at Mother Superior's modem to say she's sooooooo sorry the horrorscopes are late! She hopes to get you a forecast this week, but if not, she'll have an even more stellar one for you next week! Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Help Sister Mary Feed Her Flying Monkeys! Want your own personalized Horrorscope?

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: September 2008

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Friday, September 26, 2008. Oh, the masses are back and Sister Mary couldn’t be more pleased to see you! We hope you don’t mind that the Monday forecast has been switched to Wednesdays. This is to honor the oft-forgotten Hump Day, and also to give Sister Mary a bit more flexibility to attend Sunday evening Pilates classes, following the Mass. Her loins grow stronger by the day! Welcome to the week of September 24-30! Aries (March 21-April 20). Two words for you:...

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AstrologyEXPLAINED: January 2008

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Sister Mary Manhattan talks All About YOU! Sunday, January 27, 2008. Earth, Air, Water.there's got to be something missing. Sun in Aquarius: We can’t focus on anything, but we’re having a great time. Moon in Libra: We still can’t focus on anything, and we definitely can’t make up our mind about any of it. Mercury in Aquarius: We have lots of big ideas this week, but the conversation continues to sway. Venus in Capricorn: Buy us something pretty. Welcome to the week of Jan 27-February 2nd! Huh (Yeah&#8230...