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Trashed elbow: How to best your pests

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Friday, July 20, 2012. How to best your pests. A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam. A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn't grousin'. He sang every morning, "How lucky I am,. Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam! I saw a mouse! There on the stair! Where on the stair? A little mouse with clogs on. Going clip-clippety-clop on the stair. There are many ways to make a living, this is one. Well I declare, I thought, he was out there all the while. I swiftly threw a towel over him and grabbed a ...

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Trashed elbow: Rattus rattus

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Thursday, April 19, 2012. Fucking rats. It's wearing me thin. I had to be up early the other day to let the asbestos removal people in. We're having asbestos removed from the building at the moment - just one of those things that needs doing, I suppose. There's somewhat in't, I thought. Having heard all this, I decided I would go and investigate the hedge at the end of the close. Pocketing my phone, I headed to the front door to find two policemen outside. Hello there, sir. Is it all flats in here? The p...

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Trashed elbow: November 2004

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Tuesday, November 30, 2004. The North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il has a passion for cinema. But he could never find a director to realise his vision. So he kidnapped one from the South, jailed him and fed him grass, then forced him to shoot a socialist Godzilla. The Producer From Hell. April 4, 2003. And let me tell you, if some sucker-punching Communist dictator ever tried to pull that crap on me, I'd set fire to his head and tell the bodyguards that his Grecian 2000 had overheated. And this is Pulgasari.

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Trashed elbow: May 2005

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005. Another gem from my troubled past. There was a time when my Brother, Joe, was learning magic tricks. Everyone goes through a phase at some point, I've had several, this blog is part of my leaving-something-for-posterity phase. The magic phase was Joe's. Something to do with static electricity, I thought. And pretty lame. Enthused Joe, rearranging the matches. "Watch again.". You're not doing it right," said Joe. "Here, like this." he took the matches from me and repeated hi...This ...

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Trashed elbow: June 2005

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Thursday, June 30, 2005. How to teach English. Shukudai o shinakereba, okasan no resutoran ni ikanai. If you don't do your homework, I won't go to your Mother's restaurant.). We are, of course, forbidden to use Japanese in the classroom. Furthermore, I'm far from convinced that the above is a perfect translation of what I intended to say. The kid in question understood though, and he did the work. For the first time in ages I feel like I'm winning the war. Posted by daniel @ 1:20 AM 1 comments. It remind...

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Trashed elbow: Levelling the playing field

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Sunday, August 19, 2012. Levelling the playing field. Thank you for contacting me regarding the issue of same sex marriage. The Scottish Government is giving careful consideration to all of the points that have been raised and the Government will set out the way forward very soon. Thank you for contacting me. In fact, I'd rather been put up to it by a circular petition with a pro-forma letter attached. I had at least taken the time to personalise the letter, as you may judge for yourself:.

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Trashed elbow: Triton of the minnows

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Wednesday, May 23, 2012. Triton of the minnows. I’ll fight with none but thee; for I do hate thee. Worse than a promise-breaker. I went along to Shakespeare's Globe. On the South Bank this evening to see a Japanese language performance of Coriolanus. It was my first time at the open-air theatre and the attendant irritations of mosquitoes and low-flying police helicopters drowning out the actors were more than offset by the price of a fiver for a standing ticket. SICINIUS: It is a mind. Out of thy garments.

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Trashed elbow: The score

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Monday, September 10, 2012. God, seriously, I can't take him. He's just like,. What's the score with this then? What's the score with that then? Mate: you live it.". Posted by daniel @ 3:46 AM.

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Trashed elbow: Greater Manchester Marathon

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Friday, May 04, 2012. Last October, I ran the inaugural RunLiverpool Marathon. Where I had a bit of a torrid time. I staggered the last six miles, tipping bottled water over my screamingly painful knees, telling myself I'd never,. Be so foolish as to run another marathon. Then, when I'd finished, I instantly decided that I'd actually really enjoyed myself and I'd sign up for another one in the spring. I chose another first-time race, the Greater Manchester Marathon. Look at that weather! After training l...

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Trashed elbow: December 2004

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Friday, December 31, 2004. I have been in Canada for just over a day and would like to make the following observations:. They also wear funny clothes. The influence of the French language is an unfortunate one. I don't feel happy about going into any men's room which has the word "Hommes" on the door. Vancouver is a nice place. Posted by daniel @ 5:28 PM 2 comments. Thursday, December 30, 2004. Journey back in time. It sets off. Figure that out. Happy New Year folks! Posted by daniel @ 5:20 PM 3 comments.