boltonthewriter.wordpress.com
The Writer | Bolton the Writer
https://boltonthewriter.wordpress.com/thewriter
Author of Fantasy Fiction and Short Stories. Skip to primary content. Martin Bolton was born in Cornwall in 1979 and now lives and works in Bristol. Previously he concentrated on his artwork. And writing small pieces of nonsense for the amusement of his friends, before deciding to do some serious creative writing. His first published work, a full length novel co-written with David Pilling, The Best Weapon. Was published by Musa Publishing on 02 March 2012. The sequel, The Path of Sorrow.
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: October 2011
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Sunday, 9 October 2011. STEIN STORMS SA WITH A SHITTY STICK. Rick Stein today emerged from plidical exile, meeting with a fierce storm of indifference from pissed up members of the public. The botched takeover ended in a pleece chase, involving two bikes and a fat bloke on a scooter, despite pleece putting their hands up and saying “ey! 8221;, Stein escaped through a network of badger sets. He is thought to have been hiding in a wheelie-bin in Liskeard for the past year. Stein is currently wanted by plee...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: POLL SHOWS ANGRY LOCALS IN FAVOUR OF SMACKING FOREIGNERS
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2010/05/poll-shows-angry-locals-in-favour-of.html
Tuesday, 11 May 2010. POLL SHOWS ANGRY LOCALS IN FAVOUR OF SMACKING FOREIGNERS. Local Government blokes done a poll in Falmouth what showed angry locals want the right to smack people they don’t recognise. The poll also showed 30% of angry locals think it is already legal to “scat down” anyone who “impt from round here”. Local takeaway customers was also mad; “See that Rastafarian there? Foreigners were unavailable for comment as they were all at work. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Scrumptious Fand...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: BEARDED FANDANGO NARROWLY ESCAPES MASSIVE WOOD
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2011/09/bearded-fandango-narrowly-escapes.html
Friday, 30 September 2011. BEARDED FANDANGO NARROWLY ESCAPES MASSIVE WOOD. Intrepid reporter and popular Kerrier District News anchor, Scrumptious Fandango, pulled off a daring escape after more than a year in captivity deep in a vast, haunted tropical jungle full of crisp packets and dog shit. Tiddy Woods, or as it is known by bliddy emmets, Tehidy Country Park, was the scene of Fandango's kidnap early in 2010 by a little-known, gravy-stained, seagull cult near the north coast. As Fandango fled through ...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: October 2012
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2012_10_01_archive.html
Monday, 29 October 2012. The Passion of the Creased. This face will provide enough cash. To pay for Dave's botox injections or. A week's worth of doggy treats for Nick. Eton fat-head Prime Imposter David Cameron and his stupid, ugly girlfriend, Nick Clegg have come up with another fucking despicable idea. What a pair of shits. The new wrinkle tax was pushed through parliament by that waste of lily-white manicured skin Cameron while some grey men in expensive suits slept off lunch. Later Clegg petrol-bomb...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: BEEF CURTAINS THE HIGHLIGHT OF CARN BREA SPORTS DAY
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2010/07/beef-curtains-highlight-of-carn-brea.html
Sunday, 18 July 2010. BEEF CURTAINS THE HIGHLIGHT OF CARN BREA SPORTS DAY. The annual charity sports day on Carn Brea went ahead last weekend despite pleece saying its wrong cos bastards are keeping on dying. The event began in its usual style with everyone in the hundred metres sprint dying slowly of multiple injuries after running off a massive rock. Gold in the wrong jump was thrown at a fat, scabby woman from pool who showed everyone her beef curtains before sicking on someone's baby. Trouble got sta...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: January 2010
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
Sunday, 24 January 2010. RICK STEIN MAKES JETHRO DANCE NAKED. Rick Stein has bum-rushed Jethro's stand-up show at the Hall for Cornwall, bitch-slapped him and made him dance naked singing “Ricky Stein, Ricky Stein, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Ricky” on stage in front of his entire audience. Jethro was about to launch into an ingenious joke about a fanny when Stein appeared on stage, clearly drunk, screaming “I own you all! Last week Stein was chased away by staff after being spotted smearing the...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: June 2010
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html
Thursday, 3 June 2010. FLAMENCERS COME TO REDRUTH. A new craze has crossed the Tamar along with some foreign bastards, despite pleece and angry locals challenging bastard emmets to everything from riddle solving to goat fighting. Flamencer is a gay dance done by dirty Spaniards who impt from round ere. Angry locals was outraged yesterday after discovering that the dirty Spanish flamencers have mixed their silky gayness with good old Cornish dog-shit and bullying in the home. Olay! 8221; Then repeating.
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: STEIN STORMS SA WITH A SHITTY STICK
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2011/10/stein-storms-sa-with-shitty-stick.html
Sunday, 9 October 2011. STEIN STORMS SA WITH A SHITTY STICK. Rick Stein today emerged from plidical exile, meeting with a fierce storm of indifference from pissed up members of the public. The botched takeover ended in a pleece chase, involving two bikes and a fat bloke on a scooter, despite pleece putting their hands up and saying “ey! 8221;, Stein escaped through a network of badger sets. He is thought to have been hiding in a wheelie-bin in Liskeard for the past year. Stein is currently wanted by plee...
kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com
KERRIER DISTRICT NEWS: The Passion of the Creased
http://kerrierdistrictnews.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-passion-of-creased.html
Monday, 29 October 2012. The Passion of the Creased. This face will provide enough cash. To pay for Dave's botox injections or. A week's worth of doggy treats for Nick. Eton fat-head Prime Imposter David Cameron and his stupid, ugly girlfriend, Nick Clegg have come up with another fucking despicable idea. What a pair of shits. The new wrinkle tax was pushed through parliament by that waste of lily-white manicured skin Cameron while some grey men in expensive suits slept off lunch. Later Clegg petrol-bomb...
