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the river times: March 2013
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Thursday, March 7, 2013. No, I had merely caught a smile; she was ambivalent about her first day just like you’re supposed to be. Is she ambivalent still? Probably. Are we happy that we put her there? I can only imagine the door-slamming, the lusting. I can only imagine the fetishistic value River's merest garbage will take on in the eyes of her wee sisters. Wait, that's only almost true; I have. I don't think my maternal bias could compromise my vision that much? No, really. At any rate, it's a pare...
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the river times: December 2014
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Wednesday, December 31, 2014. This is a post for all three of my girls; the same one goes on all their blogs. It's new year's eve, and the unsavory year of 2014 is about to put itself out of its misery. This year, my children's maternal step-grandfather-in-law, Robby, died. This year, my children's maternal great-grandmother, Granny Gerte, died. This year, my children's paternal great-grandmother, Old Gramma, died. This is the linchpin question in my life; everything depends on the answer. The answer...
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the river times: June 2015
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Thursday, June 18, 2015. This year I have reckoned with the terrible all-or-nothing economy of work. I have gone to law school so I can be a lawyer so I can do helpful things for people and make money for my family. What a great idea! River will be nine in two months. I remember nine. I remember many, many details and events from nine. I remember what it felt like and I remember what I did. It was my favourite age. It's Me, Margaret. Is it you and a boy? Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
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the river times: ten
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Sunday, August 21, 2016. One day when the baby was a week old I went to buy a nursing bra. Ten years later, I say what was I thinking? I grieved what I had done to the little baby, the sin of giving her life. I grieved the world. The world was just an innocent little thing in the vast unconscionable space. I contemplated the space, and knew it all: it was too much to know. All I had in reply was grief. I could write this forever. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). You could read my other blog.
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the river times: Half
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Thursday, March 3, 2016. More than a half-birthday later! It so we could understand. I won't wait another six months before writing another River Times. I won't, because as I plod along through law school I get a clearer and clearer picture of the thing I knew all along: that I don't want to put my career ahead of my family. Duh, right? Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). You could read my other blog.
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the river times: May 2013
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Thursday, May 16, 2013. Aside from the oh-mah-gahd-it's-my-last-baby anxiety, it's great that I'm able to shake off the postpartum cloak and get back to business, right? Well yes. But Mae begins to relent, and I look over and there's River, still waiting for her turn to come back around, and three years had passed. Look at that. River is no longer three and a bit. She is almost seven. Able to turn back to her and sigh and say, OK, where were we? She is almost seven. Well, I know her, I know her better th...
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the river times: Solstice
http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2015/06/solstice.html
Thursday, June 18, 2015. This year I have reckoned with the terrible all-or-nothing economy of work. I have gone to law school so I can be a lawyer so I can do helpful things for people and make money for my family. What a great idea! River will be nine in two months. I remember nine. I remember many, many details and events from nine. I remember what it felt like and I remember what I did. It was my favourite age. It's Me, Margaret. Is it you and a boy? Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom).
therivertimes.blogspot.com
the river times: nine
http://therivertimes.blogspot.com/2015/08/nine.html
Saturday, August 22, 2015. When you have a baby you are on a life raft and there has been a shipwreck. You have survived. There is nothing but horizon. The sun is always directly overhead. Nine years later, you will look back on your time in the raft and think, the sea was eternally flat. There was only stillness and stillness. There was a globe of stillness and quiet, and me. But at the time, you were sure you were going to die. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). You could read my other blog.
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the river times: September 2012
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Wednesday, September 19, 2012. I'm writing it. This is a placeholder. Tuesday, September 18, 2012. River is six years old. Her birthday was almost a month ago now, and at the time I thought, huh, it looks like I'm getting used to the fact that I'm a mother. Huh, I thought: I can handle this, I can handle the coming and going of August 22. Well, and I did! So some of the things I didn't get crushed under the weight of on August 22 came flying down to earth that day. I suddenly was unstuck in time agai...
