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Tire Swing Press: December 2009

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009. Beautiful: A Christmas Short. The boldest headline said, Attack on Christmas. And the smaller print beneath promised the residents of Brookdaleville Township there would be no such thing. A photo showed the Happy Holidays. Jeff put the damp paper under his arm, crumpled the plastic wrap into a ball and pushed it into his old robe’s good pocket, the wet soaking through and chilling his hip. She moaned again and slightly moved so her hair stopped itching her nose. 8220;Yeah, l...

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Tire Swing Press: February 2010

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Thursday, February 25, 2010. Letters to the Editor: February 2010. We are happy to receive your letters at Tire Swing Press. They are thoughtful, helpful and often delusional. Some demand a response. The following are such letters. Just browsing your blog. Has it occurred to you that you are posting pieces with many grammatical and editorial blunders? We would like to know a little bit more about you? I hope this helps. Very Truly Yours,. Writers Wanted- Improper dash! For submissions and possible staff.

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Tire Swing Press: September 2011

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Thursday, September 22, 2011. Reviews: The Bible- Part 1. The Bible is one of the best bunch of stories. It’s a great book. And it has a lot of amazing messages. It is also popular. I think everyone should read the Bible. I wish it was more popular. I think people forgot about the Bible. And now they like the koran. All my friends want to read the koran instead of the Bible. I don’t know. If you are thinking of reading the Bible you have to. It will be good for your friends. Thursday, September 22, 2011.

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Tire Swing Press: June 2011

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Friday, June 10, 2011. Don’t Drink the Brine. Antigua, Guatemala, June 3, 2011- I partially apologize for some of the suggestions to follow. The Saratogas, a breakfast club of Conservatives, recently administered a test to potential members, via mass email. Their demands are in red, for the fiery passion they deliver. Not really. You can’t get any more accurate than this! Which side of the fence? If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! Liberals would probably own mo...

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Tire Swing Press: October 2011

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011. Three Guys On a Boat. As for ending the Fed, I could not imagine a less responsible way to deal with our currently economic crisis. Maybe eliminating Dodd/Frank, would be AS irresponsible, but not more. To correct, the current situation, we need to generate revenue quickly but we also need to look at long term solutions so that we don’t have this ideological brinkmanship every 10 years. Guys, Audit the FED, not end the FED. If you're so confident in it you shouldn’t h...Auditin...

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Tire Swing Press: December 2010

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010. All the Dogs Bark at Once. He had to convince the fat white guys to include unemployment benefits in the new bill, just enough to get through Christmas and the New Year. Then what? Then the fat white guys will hire people and they can get all the things they couldn’t get on unemployment: iPods, flatscreens, guns, trucks and books (I wish). And the Tea Party can say I told you so. I should finish here. Someone is listening on the other side of my door. You should be scared.

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Tire Swing Press: November 2009

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009. When Punch is Served. 8220;Goodbye boys. I die a true American! 8221; – Bill “The Butcher” Poole. Nov 17, 2009. Wednesday, November 18, 2009. Wednesday, November 11, 2009. Buck “Buck Tooth” Jones, Prolific Writer and Inventor, Dead at 109. Big City, Collectico– Buck “Buck Tooth” Jones, most known for his groundbreaking part-novel/part-recipe, Misery is Luxury. 1917), self-induced nightmares ( The Computer Took My Eyes Away and Wont Give Them Back. 8221;, published the next y...

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Tire Swing Press: September 2009

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009. Old Days, New Days, No Days Are Good Days. Feo warned me I was behaving like it was my first trip to New York when in fact I’ve lived here for ten years. “Shit happens all the time,” he reminded me. “Relax yourself and get us another beer.” I agreed, though the reality was discouraging. “What’ the point then? Barak Obama is NOT and Idiot. Does this mean he will NOT have an affect on the universe? Wednesday, September 30, 2009. Wednesday, September 23, 2009. It’s been ...

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a short collection of stories: September 2009

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A short collection of stories. I felt a strong shit coming.  The subway bounced.  That didn’t help.  There was nothing delightful about the port-o-johns waiting for my deposit at the job.  It was Friday, which meant the shit would be piled above the rim of the toilet and the rotting stench would make me dizzy. . Big Mike was my partner.  “You feel okay today? The cage bounced to a stop and the gears grinded one hundred fifty feet above the ground. . Big Mike turned around and faced the few remaining pass...