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There's a Penguin on the Telly: Lost in Translation

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Wednesday, August 26, 2009. Recently, I had reason to venture into our fine county courthouse, for the purpose of assisting my older son in paying a traffic ticket. He hadn't realized that the court would not accept starter checks and he had not yet received the "real" checks for his new bank account. I work right around the corner so I offered to write the payment from my checking account, he could write his check to me and all would be good. Right? Also on this fine day?

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: Great Literature Being in the Eye of the Beholder...

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Sunday, August 23, 2009. Great Literature Being in the Eye of the Beholder. My mom is still in the hospital, recovering from surgery. On my way to visit her this afternoon, I stopped at the local bookstore to pick up some magazines for her and maybe some short stories if I could find some she hadn't read yet. Had her husband and pre. Teens in tow, and was she righteously angry? Does NO ONE in this town read? She said, in the sort of smug tone you usually here from eighth-g...

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: Can I Get a Witness?

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Thursday, August 20, 2009. Can I Get a Witness? I'm driving home this evening on a fairly busy intermediate county road. Its one of the few roads that connects the eastern and western ends of the county directly, so it gets a respectable amount of traffic. I'm setting the scene here, see? And as we're traveling along, I see a person standing in the ditch up ahead. the state has really cut the budget for roadside mowing, so the weeds? He is having a pee. 2 Under 2 Who Knew.

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: July 2008

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Tuesday, July 8, 2008. In Which She Attempts to Channel her Inner Martha Stewart and Winds Up with Jerry Lewis. Since mom has been ill, I've been pitching in by cooking their dinners. It's no trouble, since I find it just as easy to cook for five as three and its especially important as we battle stage 3 cancer, that she keeps to a healthy diet. And therein lay my trouble. I think this also what's known as foreshadowing but what the hey. We're going with it. You know, some...

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: I wanna new drug

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Wednesday, August 26, 2009. I wanna new drug. Items circulating through the brain matter this morning:. My rheumatologist is NOT on my happy list this morning, wtf, this hurts and I'm over it. I need a new blog. New name, maybe new location. Alas, brain is fogged in and can't think straight. I'm still going to hunt down the Universe and kick it in the balls six or seven times for L and J and G. I could TOTALLY play Columbia at the nearest midnight showing of Rocky Horror.

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: August 2008

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Friday, August 22, 2008. In which we learn something. When I arrived at mom's with dinner (slow-cooked apple-glazed pork loin, roasted ginger cinnamon butternut squash and roasted asparagus. Did I mention I handle stress with saucepans? Tonight, she was looking solemn. (also annoyed). I learned something important today," she announced. Do tell," says I. They are lying.". And do you know WHY? Um I am afraid to guess.". She trailed off, looking really, really pissed. She's ...

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Tuesday, August 18, 2009. Meanwhile, back at the ranch. My kitchen table is exactly two and a half steps away from the countertop. Not long ago, Short Stuff and I were sitting at said table. I was finishing a cup of coffee and he was drawing pictures with washable markers. I finished my coffee and got up to set the cup on the counter. Two and a half steps. One one thousand, two one thousand aaaaand turn around. And in that amount of time, this happened:. I color mah FACE!

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: May 2007

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Tuesday, May 15, 2007. Status Report: Project Unpack All The Sheeeeit. Ok, so I completely BITE as a blogger lately. What can I say? Moving house is kicking my ASS. The good news is that I have more than half of it all unpacked and put to rights and even pictures on some of the walls! The dryer was not blocked by a nest. We're still waiting on the replacement oven, which had to be ordered. I'm low on sleep, sore and zombie-like but nearly finished. Back soon, I promise.

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: November 2008

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Tuesday, November 18, 2008. He's either got a future on stage or perhaps insurance fraud. Tale of a Toddler. Short Stuff, as I have mentioned, is something of a clever monkey and we keep a close eye on his actions lest he, I don't know, disassemble the television or something. He is, at this point, proficient with stairs unless he gets distracted, but for safety is not permitted to be on them alone. The following incident has occurred three separate times:. I am prone to h...

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There's a Penguin on the Telly: June 2008

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There's a Penguin on the Telly. Wednesday, June 18, 2008. Lather, Rinse. oh my. The heck with good days. How can you tell if your toddler had a. Look closely. Very closely. The lighting is bad but that is ONE DAY'S DIRT, washed off of His Shortness just barely a half-hour ago. Now excuse me, please. I gotta go get the scrub brush. Again. No wonder that child was asleep five minutes after his bath! Tuesday, June 17, 2008. Somewhere, I once read that God answers all prayers, but sometimes the answer is no.