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CHAOS

i don't know what i think

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CHAOS | chaosidontknow.blogspot.com Reviews
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i don&#39;t know what i think
<META>
KEYWORDS
1 chaos
2 safe and warm
3 nourished and inspired
4 appreciated and cherished
5 grateful and fulfilled
6 peaceful and free
7 loved and supported
8 kind and generous
9 posted by
10 alyssa lucy
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chaos,safe and warm,nourished and inspired,appreciated and cherished,grateful and fulfilled,peaceful and free,loved and supported,kind and generous,posted by,alyssa lucy,no comments,email this,blogthis,share to twitter,share to facebook,share to pinterest
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CHAOS | chaosidontknow.blogspot.com Reviews

https://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com

i don&#39;t know what i think

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1

CHAOS: August 2012

http://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html

I don't know what i think. Friday, August 24, 2012. I don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now. I know that you have big name celebrity endorsers but like, you don't work. not even a little. Ps- you forgot the "e". Thursday, August 16, 2012. Mamma said there'd be days like this there'd be days like this my mama said. I do my best thinking when i'm walking though. i swear i could figure out how to bring about world peace if i could just walk long enough. Wednesday, August 15, 2012.

2

CHAOS: February 2014

http://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html

I don't know what i think. Tuesday, February 4, 2014. It's all about taking the easy way out i suppose. I won't talk. my thoughts feel too disorganized. messy and out of control. nothing comes out right. from my mouth or my pen. it's frustrating but i'm too used to it to put up a fight. Resistance makes everything harder. heavier than it already is. so i surrender. i always surrender. The problem with holding onto fear is that it's like locking myself in a cage and trying to live between the bars because...

3

CHAOS: November 2012

http://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com/2012_11_01_archive.html

I don't know what i think. Tuesday, November 6, 2012. She likes her hair to be real orange, she uses tangerines. I'm super appreciative of the fact that you're like, overseeing existence. and normally, i'm the one asking you for advice on like, how to live my life but today i have one minor comment. What's up the tangerine? It tastes good- but like, are all the stops really necessary? I try to trust that you know what you're doing but you may have missed the mark on this one. Then again, what do i know?

4

CHAOS: May 2013

http://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com/2013_05_01_archive.html

I don't know what i think. Thursday, May 2, 2013. Despite all my rage I still just a rat in a cage. I don't know why I walk on the lonely side of the street. I'm not consciously choosing to cross out of the sun. When I find myself on a desolate corner I feel a strange sense of peace underneath the initial panic. When I am near people I feel suffocated. Actions seem exaggerated. Time passes painfully slow. I'm overly aware of everything. Its torture. I want to resist and rebel and regret.

5

CHAOS: October 2012

http://chaosidontknow.blogspot.com/2012_10_01_archive.html

I don't know what i think. Thursday, October 25, 2012. In the middle of the night when i'm in this dream, it's like a million little stars spelling out your name. If i was going to write the story of us i wouldn't leave one part of you out. You're like, perfect. I met you at the end of the hallway on the 19th floor. You ate a whole pack of tums on our first date. I remember every second of the first night i spent at your place. now our place. Always together, you and i. Today tomorrow. forever. This remi...

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CHAOS

I don't know what i think. Tuesday, November 18, 2014. Never before and never since, I promise will the whole world be warm as this and as you feel it. There is a chapel on the 2nd floor. I go there every day. The hardest part is praying. Because i don't know what i want. Because i like to feel in control of things. Because i get lost in thought. I get tripped up on wanting because i identify desire with something tangible: a pony, a ring, a room with a view. What i really want is to feel differently.

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