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DEER P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 14, 2016. CONCISENESS, PUNCTUATION, WORD CHOICE. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow 4. You might want to put “as part of my major” after (or somewhere between) “I was required to take several courses in architectural history with professors Speck and Lopez.” It’ll help the sentence flow more. Make sure to cut this sentence up into smaller sentences too! 2 Organization and Logical Order 7. It’s very clear where you’re going in the essay! 3 Specificity and Concreteness 6. Wasn’...

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DEER P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 14, 2016. CONCISENESS, PUNCTUATION, WORD CHOICE. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow 4. You might want to put “as part of my major” after (or somewhere between) “I was required to take several courses in architectural history with professors Speck and Lopez.” It’ll help the sentence flow more. Make sure to cut this sentence up into smaller sentences too! 2 Organization and Logical Order 7. It’s very clear where you’re going in the essay! 3 Specificity and Concreteness 6. Wasn&#8217...

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christineoberthong | christineoberthong.wordpress.com Reviews

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com

DEER P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 14, 2016. CONCISENESS, PUNCTUATION, WORD CHOICE. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow 4. You might want to put “as part of my major” after (or somewhere between) “I was required to take several courses in architectural history with professors Speck and Lopez.” It’ll help the sentence flow more. Make sure to cut this sentence up into smaller sentences too! 2 Organization and Logical Order 7. It’s very clear where you’re going in the essay! 3 Specificity and Concreteness 6. Wasn&#8217...

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christineoberthong.wordpress.com

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CAPYBARA P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF | Studies on Empathy

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/capybara-p4-critique-by-wolf

CAPYBARA P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 2, 2016. ORGANIZATION, WORD CHOICE, CONCISENESS. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow — 6. Very coherent essay, flows very smoothly! Also, I was a bit confused when you wrote “reminding myself that any mistakes I make are part of my path will free me,” specifically that end part. 2 Organization and Logical Order — 7. Well organized, could definitely get an idea of where you were going with your essay. 3 Specificity and “Concreteness” — 7. 4 Verbal and Visual Rhetoric — 7. I thin...

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Fun Home (2) | Studies on Empathy

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com/2016/04/17/fun-home-2/comment-page-1

April 17, 2016. 1 “My numbness, along with all the mealy-mouthed mourning, was making me irritable. What would happen if we spoke the truth? 8230; I didn’t find out” — “Fun Home” by Alison Bechdel (pg. 125). Because he was a manic-depressive, closeted fag. And he couldn’t face living in this small-minded small town one more second. Was she afraid for what others would think of her? 2 “With similar perversity, the sparkling creek that coursed down from the plateau and through our town was crystal cl...

3

P4 Final | Studies on Empathy

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com/2016/05/06/p4-final

May 6, 2016. 8220;A picture is worth a thousand words.”. What is a story worth then? The human race has a tendency to fear that which is different, misunderstood, or inexplicable. And what do we do when we’re afraid? A couple of years ago, my humanities class was reading. By George Orwell, a novella based off of the Russian Revolution of 1917 and the Stalinist era of the Soviet Union. [2]. Many of whom were relatable and likeable. But I don’t want to only write stories based off of historical events&...

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STARFISH P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF | Studies on Empathy

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com/2016/05/01/starfish-p4-critique-by-wolf

STARFISH P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 1, 2016. WORD CHOICE, CONCISENESS, CITATIONS. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow — 5. In the very first sentence (when you wrote “I unexpectedly don’t feel perplexed”), “unexpectedly” seems a bit out of place. Maybe try a different word, or put “unexpectedly” elsewhere (or just cut it out entirely). Overall, your essay does flow very smoothly, but there are a few spots (like the above) that move a bit awkwardly, if only because of the commas. 5 Proofreading — 6. Documentation ...

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March | 2016 | Studies on Empathy

https://christineoberthong.wordpress.com/2016/03

Monthly Archives: March 2016. Best and Worst (First Week of April). March 30, 2016. For the last few weeks, I’ve been getting pretty poor grades for my Chem lab reports. However, I think that I’ve finally gotten into the groove of “what to put in” and “what not to put in” (something that’s very few and far in-between, unfortunately). I feel. To do well in the next upcoming reports. On another note, I recently made cards for kids in hospitals, and I felt really. A feeling that soon evolved into two things:.

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Carly | World Literature

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November 19, 2015. ORGANIZATION, WORD CHOICE, PROOFREADING. I felt trapped by the bars of my cage. Carly’s eyes seemed to beg to tell a story. Before I came to the shelter, I struggled with extending my sympathetic imagination to animals. Since I understand humans better, it was easier for me feel unity with other people. In contrast, how could I possibly become one with cat when I hardly know what they’re thinking? 1] “The Cat’s Prayer,” in. Composition and World Literature. Best and Worst for 11/17.

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DEER P4 CRITIQUE BY WOLF. May 14, 2016. CONCISENESS, PUNCTUATION, WORD CHOICE. 1 Unity, Coherence, and Flow 4. You might want to put “as part of my major” after (or somewhere between) “I was required to take several courses in architectural history with professors Speck and Lopez.” It’ll help the sentence flow more. Make sure to cut this sentence up into smaller sentences too! 2 Organization and Logical Order 7. It’s very clear where you’re going in the essay! 3 Specificity and Concreteness 6. Wasn&#8217...

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