l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: Anniversary Party
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008/09/anniversary-party.html
Wednesday, September 17, 2008. So the one year anniversary of this bitch is coming quick. It came so quick I didn’t even realize it. Now I know how my sexual partners feel. Nah, I’m kidding, I’m as flaccid as a half-filled water balloon. Anyway, to celebrate I’m throwing a party at my place. I’m gonna have grab bags of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a 2/3-full bottle of 7up. Lucky for you all, the anniversary lands on October 4. Just bring your own fucking napkins. I don’t need to be telling you this. Wait, the...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: February 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html
Wednesday, February 27, 2008. My friends, I’m a big fan of Law and Order. I’m such a huge fan that I’ve written a scene of the show. It is my masterpiece, my greatest work. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed visualizing it:. I grant the defense’s motion to suppress the gun. Watch it, McCoy, you’re treading on thin ice. The detectives had every right to—. That’s it, McCoy, I’m holding you in contempt! There’s no court in session—. Motion to suppress the Assistant Prosecutor’s. Do it, Connie. A rolli...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: November 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html
Friday, November 7, 2008. This just in: this blog is dead! In dying, it has given life to a new blog. I will, with my colleague, be testing the waters attempting to re-spark my creativity and post in a consistent fashion. Corazon will continue posting on her blog. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). I write because I like making people laugh. Some of my blog entries do so, most fail miserably. The answer is yes. Look into the past. I said look! I Don't Know Where This is Going. Los Angeles Downtown Chick.
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: April 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
Tuesday, April 22, 2008. I thought I’d continue my short stories. This story was inspired by the vagrants I saw making love in the back seat of a derelict car. Best three bucks I ever spent. I’m going to witness this man’s last words. What if I forget them? 8220;Here,” he strained, “take this key. It opens a safe. Without it, we won’t be able to—,“ he sputtered out. I stood and studied the key. It was rusty, long, and with a skull at the butt. Wait, what judge? And what does the key open? Ah, here we go.
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: October 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
Wednesday, October 29, 2008. A Blogger feature I’ve not seen before, a feature perhaps purloined? Purloined and downgraded it seems. I’ve seen better thefts performed by quadriplegics or the NY Times. I’ve added the feature to this blog and adjusted it accordingly. Unfortunately, after this addition my bland blog has turned into a bland and ugly blog. Seriously, check out those voting boxes beneath this entry. They’re crude and outdated. Is there no way to customize this feature (further)? If interested,...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: October 2007
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html
Sunday, October 28, 2007. There's a knocking above the refrigerator in the kitchen. Yes, a knocking. It's soft and fast like a woodpecker pecking perched atop the fridge. "frank, maybe it comes from the outside. You should check.". Are you fucking kidding me? Last time someone pulled a stunt like that, he was forever haunted by some immortal poltergeist crow on the pallid bust of Pallas just above his chamber door. So, no. Forget that. I'm just- oh, it was a woodpecker, but outside. May I sodomize you?
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: Chess
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008/10/chess.html
Friday, October 3, 2008. I used to be a goddam chess genius! My army brother taught me when I was eight and when he returned on leave a year later, I was the best player in the house—shit, I was the best player on the block! So you can imagine my surprise when all the Joe Nobodies who can barely type out sentences on Yahoo chess annihilate me. You know, I’m starting to think my insidious fucking family let me win all those matches years ago. I bet if I played them again today, they’d kick my ass. Also, p...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: September 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html
Wednesday, September 17, 2008. So the one year anniversary of this bitch is coming quick. It came so quick I didn’t even realize it. Now I know how my sexual partners feel. Nah, I’m kidding, I’m as flaccid as a half-filled water balloon. Anyway, to celebrate I’m throwing a party at my place. I’m gonna have grab bags of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a 2/3-full bottle of 7up. Lucky for you all, the anniversary lands on October 4. Just bring your own fucking napkins. I don’t need to be telling you this. This blog...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: Television Kills Brain Cells, Story at Eleven
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008/08/television-kills-brain-cells-story-at.html
Friday, August 22, 2008. Television Kills Brain Cells, Story at Eleven. There’s hardly anything good on TV. Have you seen the Food Network lately? It’s become the MTV of food. How many different food competitions can they air? Competitions, burger competitions, cake competitions! They’ve resorted to putting contestants in cake and sculpture competitions through a gauntlet of stairs and bottomless pits like in The Golden Child in hopes that there will be a catastrophic cake collapse. There are two things ...
l-frank.blogspot.com
frankly written: May 2008
http://l-frank.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
Tuesday, May 27, 2008. Love Tom and Jerry. I've often wondered how their antics translate into real life. Here, for instance, Tom is chasing Jerry. Here, Tom and Jerry are fencing. Ry, watch out. Here is a duel over what appears to be a case of tomatoes. Monday, May 12, 2008. There's a Moth in My Room. I contemplated destroying it. The next logical step. Perhaps the moth has garnered the support of its family. Perhaps I should be wary of moths from hereon. Perhaps it has turned my family against me.