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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: April 2007
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Friday, 27 April 2007. Every now and then, i like to treat the smallest minnows to a bedtime story. As they all settled quietly against their spongey pillows and pulled the covers over their sea-beds, i began. Once upon a time there was a baker and his wife. They lived in a far-away kingdom, over the rainbow, through the magical forest, down in dingely dell - turn left after the roundabout with the McDonalds on it. The one thing they wanted more than anything (except for a golden otter. Song(s) and tryin...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: October 2007
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Wednesday, 31 October 2007. Ahh the crackle of the fireplace, the smell of pipe smoke mixed with leather bound volumes of Otter. Bi-Monthly Magazine. Welcome to Smy's study. It's time to curl up at Uncle Smy's feet.erm.tailfin and prepare to have your pimples well and truly goosed as we begin a frightening tale of dread and fear! Smy gingerly nudged the pebble with his beak (yes dolphins flippin' have beaks, ok? And before he could say 'otter- cornography. The other fish dived for cover, cowering in the ...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: December 2007
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Tuesday, 25 December 2007. Thanks so much for the recent spate of gits you have bestowed upon me. I'm guessing that the court restraining order didn't put you off then? May i take this opportunity to discuss with you the choice of gifts you have sent to me:. Doves - Not edible nor do they even look all that exciting. Do you still have the receipt? I'd prefer a chinchilla. French) - i don't even speak French and my tenancy agreement stipulates i cant keep fowl.Especially foreign fowl. I'm not sure i even ...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: August 2007
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Thursday, 30 August 2007. In today's world it's all rush, rush, rush isn't it? Sometimes even the prettiest dolphins such as myself never get time to really look our best before being put in front of a crowd of nerdy scientists and ordered to leap though a hoop, ring a bell or balance a beach ball perfectly on our delightful beaks. However, spare a thought for the blobfish. No amount of Maybelene is EVER gonna help him get a date. Both of them taste vaguely of lemon sorbet. Saturday, 25 August 2007.
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: May 2007
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Friday, 25 May 2007. The Sims - The Movie. There i was, casually flippering my Dolphin-O-Type 2000 for the latest news about fish-fingers when it was brought to my attention that Hollywood are making a big budget film of the popular PC game, The Sims! All the makings of a blockbuster then, right? So, just in case Hollywood change their mind(s), here are a few other game- movie ideas which would be potentially even MORE exciting than watching The Sims movie:. 1 Ms Pac Man. Directed by Michael Bay. The Mus...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: March 2008
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Monday, 31 March 2008. Ever since Professor Einrich Squeaktail's discovery in 1804 that the moon was made of cheese, it has been every mouse's desire to get there as soon as possible. This is a fact. After a dramatic pause and a big rethink, the next attempt took place in 1916 when Wilber and Orville Smartwhiskers made makeshift propellers from elastic bands and lollipop sticks, strapped them to their noses and threw themselves off the cliffs at Kittenhawk, USA. The calculations were slightly squiffy...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: January 2008
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Sunday, 27 January 2008. When you human types aren't killing each other over who's got the best god or who likes oil the most, you also like killing each other over love. I adore otters. But have never once wanted to kill anyone preventing me from using my season pass to the local otter sanctuary. Not that anyone would dare. Personally i think there were many better titles that could've been used instead and i've compiled a list of a few alternatives:. For Your Pies Only. Live and Let Pie. In God We Crust.
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: July 2007
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Monday, 30 July 2007. Big Brother is a big pile of poo.discuss. Whenever i come up for air or to simply show off my leaping-through-hoops ability or to press the 'feed Smy fish' button repeatedly until my human captors arrive with a nice salmon for me, i have to listen to the inane chatter from the scientists and pool cleaners and Cetacean Interior Decorator Specialists as they discuss the horror that is Big Brother.*. Did you know Chantelle has left the house? I thought i might spill my cocoa! To come t...
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Smy's Mysterious Fishtank: September 2007
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Thursday, 27 September 2007. Once upon a time it seemed that the only people seeing UFOs were hillbilly types from backwater parts of America and Kippax. And hobos who would immediately look at the bottle they had been drinking from for a second before throwing it over their shoulder while mumbling 'never again.bleughhh.' or something. Flying Saucers can be seen just about everywhere these days and they are not constrained to Hell's Kitchen either! 1 Bourbon or Custard Creams? 2 Coffee or Tea? To serve t...
