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patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: boiling point

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015/07/boiling-point.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Sunday, July 5, 2015. I have tried sharing my feelings with my brother about the building anxiety and how I am having a harder time keeping it all together. As expected, his response was that I could not fall apart because mom would not be able to handle it. I was so disappointed by that comment. I can’t help but feel – what about me? Am I not important in this family? Pressure against emotions manifests as, you guessed it, anxiety! It is making me sad.

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: June 2014

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2014_06_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Wednesday, June 4, 2014. Respect yourself and others will respect you. How do I get others to respect me? I’m asked this question regularly; by parents in regards to their children, children in regards to their parents, by women in regards to men, and men in regards to women…. Everyone wants to know how to stop people from treating them in ways they don’t like. They figure there must be something they can say or do to get them to change. But they can’t. Awesome ...

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: June 2015

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015_06_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Thursday, June 18, 2015. Safe or not safe, that is the question. The principles of Imago. Offer dialogical frameworks that, when used correctly, enable participants to speak their minds and feel heard without hurting each other. Of utmost importance in both models is the safety of the person you are speaking to. When your listener does not feel safe, he or she cannot stay present to you. He or she will either fight back or withdraw from you entirely. That you wi...

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: October 2014

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Monday, October 6, 2014. Sorry (no ifs, ands or buts). Your partner wants an apology. 8220;Sorry, honey.“. 8220;If I hurt you”. 8220;But I didn’t mean to”. 8220;And It wasn’t my fault”. Better to stop at sorry. Than to tag on an if, and. These make your apology about defending or excusing yourself, wiping the slate clean for your own sake rather than your partner’s. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Psychotherapy and public protection. View my complete profile.

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: September 2013

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2013_09_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Sunday, September 15, 2013. All published exchanges are edited to remove any identifying information about the querent.]. My wife and I separated because I had an affair. Although I ended the affair as soon as she found out, my wife started seeing someone else as soon as we separated. Now we both want to get back together. I’m really happy about that, but my wife says she needs time to end her relationship with this new guy. She’s chatting with him! The first th...

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: May 2015

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015_05_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Sunday, May 24, 2015. Too little too late. Sometimes we keep trying to reach out to someone unreachable. They tell us it’s over. But we can’t believe it. We urge them not to give up on us, to keep trying. But they say too little too late. We tell them they never said anything to us, that we don’t want it to end, that it’s not fair and that they should give us a second chance. Tell me what to do. And trying to get them back is like trying to water a dead plant.

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: after the affair

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015/07/after-affair.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Wednesday, July 29, 2015. As a marital therapist I see a lot of couples after an affair. Usually, the partner who has been betrayed will experience tremendous difficulty trusting the unfaithful partner again. Unfortunately, the unfaithful partner is often unable to explain “why” the affair happened and is therefore unable to reassure his or her partner that it will never happen again. Why did it happen? How could you love me and still betray me? We can put aside...

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: scapegoating

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015/07/scapegoating.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Saturday, July 18, 2015. Scapegoating occurs when a person externalizes responsibility for his or her feelings, stories or actions, and blames them on someone else. The offender usually does not think of his reaction as scapegoating but as a reasonable and warranted response to an external provocation: “He or she made. Me feel, think or act this way.”. Accepting fault or blame for others’ stories is what happens in false confessions. View my complete profile.

patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com

Patricia Ivan- Contractions: July 2015

http://patricia-ivan-therapy.blogspot.com/2015_07_01_archive.html

Pithy answers to everyday life conundrums. Wednesday, July 29, 2015. As a marital therapist I see a lot of couples after an affair. Usually, the partner who has been betrayed will experience tremendous difficulty trusting the unfaithful partner again. Unfortunately, the unfaithful partner is often unable to explain “why” the affair happened and is therefore unable to reassure his or her partner that it will never happen again. Why did it happen? How could you love me and still betray me? We can put aside...