kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Flushing Out Feminism
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2015/03/flushing-out-feminism.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Wednesday, March 4, 2015. Congress of the United States is strictly prohibited. I was raised to believe a person’s worth isn’t dependent on what does or doesn’t dangle between their legs, and I guess I was naive enough to think rampant misogyny was something from the dark ages. Or the 1950s. Same diff. Neither era had Lolcats, and that’s just no way to fucking live. Whew Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Must be the PMS! Anyway, this post is not. Insert...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: An Ovary Bite?
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2013/10/an-ovary-bite.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Thursday, October 10, 2013. I think I’ve made clear how much I hate being a chick. I even rebelled against my gender by refusing to grow a respectable set of tits. Hey, some women burn their bras, I took it a step further and just flat out (see what I did there? Have no need for those mammary-muzzling contraptions of titillating torture. But now. well, NOW my genetically inferior reproductive system has really shown its cunty side. I couldn’t write a bett...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Getting Back to the Pertinent Poop.
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2012/04/getting-back-to-pertinent-poop.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Sunday, April 15, 2012. Getting Back to the Pertinent Poop. It has occurred to me that the last few turds dropped in this toilet of a blog have been me just pissing and moaning about being unhappy with my own station in life. It’s time to get back to the corn and peanuts of what this blog is about— ranting about other. Do they check your poop in the loony bin? And they say we’re. The weird ones. But I digress. Retro = Recycling Old Shit. You’re too close ...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Quit Airing Your Shit on Your Rear End
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2011/11/quit-airing-your-shit-on-your-rear-end.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Tuesday, November 15, 2011. Quit Airing Your Shit on Your Rear End. Don’t get me wrong, I like the funny. Bumper stickers. I remember one magical Christmas where I gave my dad a flimsy piece of adhesive-y paper that eloquently stated, “My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student.” He smiled, hugged me, wiped a tear from his eye…. and then used it for a fucking bookmark because there was no way he was sticking that garbage to his car. I’m going to vote for THAT guy! Well ...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: What Would Jesus Do? Rollback Prices!
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2014/10/what-would-jesus-do-rollback-prices.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Sunday, October 5, 2014. What Would Jesus Do? NO FILTER #YOLO #JK #LOL. If Jesus came back today, he’d probably wind up working at Walmart. Heinous crime against Capitalism, despite his secretive, all-male dinner parties. Quickly becoming a social outcast, Jesus would probably turn to the holier-than-thou hobby of trolling the internet, shamelessly smiting blasphemers in comment sections on every corner of the World Wide Web. And on Cyber Monday the heavens wou...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Going all Anal… and Shit
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2012/03/going-all-anal-and-shit.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Friday, March 30, 2012. Going all Anal… and Shit. Here’s a fun fact about your feces flinger that might not be instantly apparent about a person who prides themselves on poorly punctuated (but accurately alliterated! Poop puns – I’m a piece of shit perfectionist. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step, but I think something is wrong with that step. Hold on I’ll get out a hammer and fix it real quick. A true lady doesn’t reveal her age (or...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Flushing Mothers Day Down the Drain
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2011/05/flushing-mothers-day-down-drain.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Sunday, May 8, 2011. Flushing Mothers Day Down the Drain. I'm thinking Mothers Day needs to be revamped. Instead of bombarding our mothers with cards, balloons, flowers, and the plethora of reasons we're thankful for them (existence, for one) why don't we give them the one thing all mothers, old and young, truly crave - to NOT be mothers for a day. Whatever the fuck they want! Children MUST be taken from the premises- shut up dads, it's not OUR fault you waste ...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Panic Disorders are Dumb.
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2013/08/panic-disorders-are-dumb.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Sunday, August 11, 2013. Panic Disorders are Dumb. I’ve received a lot of comments and private messages on my Facebook page. After asking a few of these kindred spirits if they were out of their god damn minds (and obviously, they are), it turns out what draws fellow whackjobs to me is that I’m able to make fun of myself while dealing with the daily downer that is being bipolar with a side of panic disorder. While I've discussed my depression. You see, having a...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Twitter Shits All Over Shark Week
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2012/08/twitter-shits-all-over-shark-week.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Monday, August 13, 2012. Twitter Shits All Over Shark Week. First off, I hate TV. That is, live TV. I prefer to get into a series via Netflix four years after it’s been cancelled and then try to strike up conversations around the water cooler (or toilet tank) about it as though it’s relevant. There are few exceptions to the Kimmy “wait until it’s stale as shit” rule, and they are The Walking Dead. NCAA/NFL football, and motherfuckin’ Shark Week. Is well documen...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Flush the Female Race
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2013/03/flush-female-race.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Wednesday, March 27, 2013. Flush the Female Race. The original title of this blog post was Why the GOP *REALLY* Hates Women. But this is NOT a political post; it’s simply a “why all women suck and should be executed” post. So, nothing to get all uppity about. Calm your tits, turd twat; this isn’t about you. Well, maybe a little. Here I go, digressing. It’s a chick thing. Hormones, and shit. Anyway, there’s a legitimate reason for the government to regulat...
