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The Failure to See the Problem – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/the-failure-to-see-the-problem
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. The Failure to See the Problem. January 1, 2017. In a funny twist, I met someone, several months ago, off a dating site. We had coffee, had a great chat, found a shared interest, and he joined the group Nick and I were in together. It was several months later that he mentioned he’s actually married. Separated. I (or whoever agreed to seeing him) is once again Number Two. I really, really like you, but….my wife. Why even get into that situation? He explains in ...
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inherentflaws – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/author/inherentflaws
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Being the Dirty Little Secret. January 31, 2017. In Being a Secondary. The Failure to See the Problem. January 1, 2017. On Lies, 3. December 31, 2016. The lies continue even now. It's been a very, very long time since I broke up with him, and in that time, he has repeatedly continued communication with me. When I've contacted him for business reasons, he's repeatedly turned that contact personal, telling me about his difficult life and what he's doing ...I dis...
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Poly and Marriage: Part 1 – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/poly-and-marriage-part-1
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Poly and Marriage: Part 1. June 17, 2016. I recently came across an article by one of the poly greats, about five myths of polyamory. Number one, she addressed the question of whether monogamy or polyamory is ‘better’ in terms of relationship longevity, happiness, and health. First, I beg to differ with her on the unspoken, underlying assumption:. That the measue of polyamory is whether the couple. Does well, and is happy and stays together. Thing I see to hap...
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Poly and Marriage: The Couple – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/12/23/poly-and-marriage-the-couple
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Poly and Marriage: The Couple. December 23, 2016. December 23, 2016. In my last post, I talked about how poly works for the secondary partners. From what I’ve seen, not so well. There’s a reason the secondary relationships usually end by two to two and a half years, and rarely last as long as five. For polys, however,. Is usually the focus of the question. Poly work for the couple? Had a hot meal ready for him just once after a really hard day? A small gift or...
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Manipulated from the Start – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/05/16/manipulated-from-the-start
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Manipulated from the Start. May 16, 2016. It’s probably just as well that I’ve been too busy to write about any of this lately. But recent events once again have my mind spinning. I have come to believe that in the Venn diagram where poly overlaps narcissist, these people deliberately choose others who are at low moments in their lives and more susceptible than most to affection, attention, a semblance of love and being swept off their feet. You are commenting...
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On Lies, 3 – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/on-lies-3
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. On Lies, 3. December 31, 2016. In that communication, I find there are more lies. He tells me over and over that he’s doing marketing for his work. And yet, the places he does his marketing are easy to look at. Nothing every changes at these sites, channels, or accounts. Or, should I say rarely. I think, though, that people also lie to themselves. They convince. Before they lie to others. Does he tell himself he’s. Going to do what they said. I ask again: why?
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My Personal Life Doesn’t Affect…. – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/06/03/my-personal-life-doesnt-affect
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. My Personal Life Doesn’t Affect…. June 3, 2016. We hear it said a lot in today’s world: What consenting adults do doesn’t affect anyone else. What we do in our personal lives has no bearing on our professional lives or our business, or anyone else. Do not mean to him,. Has once again started sending me warm and personal e-mails, telling me what’s going on his personal life, rather than sticking to business. I have mentioned in an earlier post, I have a relativ...
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Infatuation, Intimacy, Love and Lies – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/12/29/infatuation-intimacy-love-and-lies
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Infatuation, Intimacy, Love and Lies. December 29, 2016. A number of things come together in my thoughts today:. The words on a blog describing narcissists:. You fall in in love. I stop at infatuation. A poly blogger talking about the fear of falling in love again after being hurt and my own realization this reluctance to ever get hurt like this again is impacting my decisions in dating. Stop at infatuation, because he lacks the ability to truly. The commenter...
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Further Thoughts on Lies – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/further-thoughts-on-lies
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Further Thoughts on Lies. December 31, 2016. December 31, 2016. In Being a Secondary. In the previous post. As I process all that happened with Nick, both the time we were together and the events of the breakup, I wonder more than I ever have in my life: what is the point of lying? What do people think they’re accomplishing by doing so? The truth always comes out. I was told poly, at least. I have come to understand, too, that from the start, they both expecte...
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Top Ten Questions #10 – Inherent Flaws
https://inherentflaws.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/top-ten-questions-10
A Second Look inside the World of Polyamory. Top Ten Questions #10. April 9, 2016. April 9, 2016. From Top Ten Questions Asked About Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths. 10 I need to forgive the psychopath for my own peace of mind, right? We view [forgiveness] as the final step in healing, but…healing is a lifelong journey. …if you do choose to make forgiveness a part of your recovery, just keep the following in mind. These words, of course, depend on the definition of forgiveness. Forgive...