modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: Out, Damn Spot.
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009/06/out-damn-spot.html
Tuesday, June 2, 2009. Out, Damn Spot. For me, night time brings sleeplessness and introspection. The subject of my nocturnal musings tonight ended up being my history of sexual assault, a topic which unfortunately pops up in my head every now and then, though it would likely be surprising if it didn't. Full disclosure: I have been sexually assaulted five times all told, by three different guys. I am not my rapes. Because they are not mine. They belong to the people that committed the crime, not ...Subsc...
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: Backslid.
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009/05/backslid.html
Tuesday, May 26, 2009. So, I guess I've started restricting again accidentally. I figured it wasn't a big deal, since I wasn't explicitly tracking calories or aiming for a specific number, and that meant that it wasn't really. Restricting, not by the rules I used to play by. And besides, I had pretty much halved my workouts, so it wasn't a big deal. And anyway, normal people often eat less during times of stress, so why can't I. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Not A Relapse, Just A Little Fix.
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: June 2008
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html
Tuesday, June 24, 2008. I've decided to enter therapy. The exquisite, airy light-headedness that an empty stomach often brings. This is noteworthy, because I am not, nor have I ever been, bulimic. Not only were my regular behaviours escalating, but I was considering new behaviours that had previously repulsed me. I didn't end up vomiting, but did make myself "walk off" my pathetically small meal. Need to worry about this silly therapy. Nonsense, now do. Confusing times, my friend. Confusing times. I need...
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: January 2009
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html
Thursday, January 29, 2009. Tuesday January 27, 2009 - 10:25 AM. The conversation turned to something else, and then flew back to weight a few minutes later. I cannot recall the exact context, but somehow we ended up at a point where my mother said to me "Yes, but I think you've lost a little too much.". I'd been considering disclosing to her for a while, so I decided to test her. I very deliberately and bluntly replied "Yes. 40% of my body weight.". I've gotten a bit more "on track" this week. Moder...
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: Not A Relapse, Just A Little Fix.
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009/05/not-relapse-just-little-fix.html
Friday, May 15, 2009. Not A Relapse, Just A Little Fix. W is back from China. For how long? I'm only human, after all. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Not A Relapse, Just A Little Fix. An occasionally joyful, often frustrated, ever-yearning writer/artist/bellydancer who is slowly learning to coexist with food. Call it ED-NOS or subclinical anorexia, it's all the same to me. View my complete profile. Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment. Between Living and Existing. Kate Harding's Shapely Prose.
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: Misplaced Admiration.
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009/07/misplaced-admiration.html
Saturday, July 11, 2009. It isn't discipline, it isn't admirable, and it sure as hell isn't a life. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). An occasionally joyful, often frustrated, ever-yearning writer/artist/bellydancer who is slowly learning to coexist with food. Call it ED-NOS or subclinical anorexia, it's all the same to me. View my complete profile. Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment. Between Living and Existing. Every Woman Has an Eating Disorder. Kate Harding's Shapely Prose.
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: February 2009
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html
Wednesday, February 25, 2009. A Call To Arms (And Legs, and Core). Wednesday, February 11, 2009. W and I were discussing my new social anxiety the other night, and I mentioned that I find it difficult to keep up an act of normalcy around people that don't know about my disorder. It gets awkward to consistently deflect or sidestep questions about what I've been "up to lately" or how I've "been", because the answers are unwaveringly "starving" and "horrible". His answer was elegant in its simplicity. And i...
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: August 2008
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html
Sunday, August 31, 2008. Therapy has been going well. ED behaviours still in full effect, but I. In a better place, mentally. I am visiting my mother for the long weekend, and saw my therapist yesterday. She likes me, so she is willing to schedule weekend appointments for me. Which is good, because I doubt I would be able to see her more than 4 times a year otherwise. I'm going to borrow a list idea from. Because I think it's swell. I have so few people to talk to about my ED, and only one person that do...
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: March 2009
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html
Thursday, March 12, 2009. I've made quite a mess of things. Since your BMI is only XX.X, we have to ask you if there is an eating disorder involved.". I was taken aback. Surely this sort of thing should have come up during the consultation stage? I'm extremely needlephobic. It took 2 days, 3 attempts, and a mg of Ativan before they got the blood required for the potassium, chloride and sodium testing, as well as the CBC. Gosh, I hope that the surgery group calls soon, with good news.
modelrecovery.blogspot.com
modelrecovery: June 2009
http://modelrecovery.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html
Tuesday, June 2, 2009. Out, Damn Spot. For me, night time brings sleeplessness and introspection. The subject of my nocturnal musings tonight ended up being my history of sexual assault, a topic which unfortunately pops up in my head every now and then, though it would likely be surprising if it didn't. Full disclosure: I have been sexually assaulted five times all told, by three different guys. I am not my rapes. Because they are not mine. They belong to the people that committed the crime, not ...Subsc...
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