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Chapter 10 | Cocaine Widow
https://cocainewidow.wordpress.com/chapter-10
The Other Side Of Addiction. July 21, 2010. There is no getting around the fact that my marriage is forever damaged. We all change, but cocaine can change a person in ways life alone cannot. People will sacrifice things that once meant the world to them in favor of that high. Their priorities change. They will steal and lie and try to act like things are normal. Was it all a lie? Did he think he was smarter than me? When did he stop being the man I married and become a lying coke addict? That doesn’t mak...
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Chapter 01 | Cocaine Widow
https://cocainewidow.wordpress.com/chapter-one
The Other Side Of Addiction. January 12, 2008. He left last night, and I couldn’t get to bed then either. I spent the night pacing, wondering if I had just sent him off to get high, which exactly why we have problems in the first place. When he is gone, I do not sleep. I talked to him today. He sounded like he’d been using. His voice has a false cheerfulness when he’s on coke. I thought he might come by, but then I realized he probably didn’t want to see me, because he wasn’t straight. He doesn’t trust a...
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Chapter 17 | Cocaine Widow
https://cocainewidow.wordpress.com/chapter-17
The Other Side Of Addiction. February 21, 2013. It’s been a long three months since I last posted. The temporary job is over. Long story short, the apartment turned out to be Hell. I made just enough money working to get us out and into a nicer place. I turned 47 and now I’m back to square one. Sigh. Just like my marriage. A nice, big failure. My ex is my friend now, I guess, for lack of a better word What do you call someone with so many verbs in your relationship? I miss him still. It is clear that my ...
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: October 2009
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Thursday, October 15, 2009. At first, I was a little scared of the idea of this change (how very codependent of me) because I was concerned that being ready to move on meant that I didn't want to face my own reality. After all, if I just start acting like none of this ever happened, won't it all just happen again? Wasn't that what got me into trouble in the first place, ignoring all the bad things that were going on for the sake of keeping the peace? A Sex Addict...
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: March 2010
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Sunday, March 28, 2010. I wanted to shout through the phone line (or somehow teleport myself through it to shake her into sense). Nothing you do can control what he does. His behavior is his, his bad choices are his, and the consequences of those choices do not have to make your life worse if you don't let them. Thursday, March 11, 2010. Do you ever get frustrated on behalf of someone else? Today D called me from work because he was incredibly frustrated that the...
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: Frustration
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2010/04/frustration.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Tuesday, April 20, 2010. The house is dirty. Dog fur rolls across the floor like tumbleweeds. And the grass is too high. And the dishes need washed. So many projects are running around in my head-. Ideas of painting the kitchen and staining the deck and powerwashing the siding. And replacing the old and broken down and worn out. But then the car needs brakes. And the dog needs medicine. And I have to buy books for next year before the loan money arrives. I bet it...
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: Running
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2010/05/running.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Friday, May 14, 2010. So I'm currently studying for a rather massive certification exam and have essentially been holing up at local libraries/coffee shops/anywhere with a quiet table and plug for my laptop for the past 2 weeks, hardly emerging to check my e-mail, let alone blog. What I have emerged for, however, is my newly found hobby of running. Now if only I could make it apply to studying. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). View my complete profile.
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: Gratitude
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2010/04/gratitude.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Friday, April 16, 2010. This used to be the pattern, you see. Throughout D's addicty years and even early on in recovery, if there was something he just didn't want to do. Of course, there is always room for disappointment later, but it's these little changes in attitude that have truly marked the biggest differences in our lives over the past year- and for those, I am eternally and overwhelmingly grateful. Edit: We had a fabulous time. :-). Tell Me a Story.
wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope: Letting Go (Again!)
http://wifeofsexaddict.blogspot.com/2010/07/letting-go-again.html
Behind the Lies: Fear, Recovery and Hope. Sunday, July 18, 2010. Wow- 2 months since my last post? I swear I haven't disappeared into the abyss. Just into the depths of more than a month of massive studying for a qualification exam (which I just discovered that I passed! I understand how this must be a bit nerve wracking and frightening for you. still, it is a huge leap of faith and trust and that says volumes about how far you have come. August 7, 2010 at 4:35 PM. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom).
