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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: August 2009

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Thursday, August 13, 2009. This is the place for us! About four hours later we arrived in Paros. Somehow I managed to man-handle our bags off the ship, and stagger about four hundred metres along the quay-side, the Titanium Princess keeping up a constant monologue on the dangers of drinking at sea, or drinking, period, until we arrived at the Hotel Paros. Where have you been. I was expecting you yesterday! What's happened, my poor love! But then realised that Dimitrisgouros (or something like that - he w...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: April 2010

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Monday, April 26, 2010. As if the answer simply didn't require the articulated "Of course, you oaf - vot do you think we are, here, barbarians? It dawned on me that the reason that Germany was a place resplendent in its efficiency was that everyone does the same things the same way. All those manicured wood-piles swept back into view, all of those pretty villages, docile farm-wives, cooking their pastries, all those people lining up so civilly to board the U-Bahn - to be well-ordered in Germany is th...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: July 2010

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Tuesday, July 6, 2010. Don't mention the war. So, after a couple of days, we boarded another train for Berlin. The Titanium one had gone troppo in Prague, and was kitted out with a most magnificent range of fabrics and those fiddly things women like to acquire to adorn their ears, necks, wrists and the like - all silver and crystalline chunks of ultra-compressed carbon. I bought another hat. Was it keeping hordes of feuding dwarves at bay? As they say in! We continued perambulating down Unter den Linden,...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: That's not an enema...

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Thursday, August 23, 2012. That's not an enema. Graham the Barbarian was fucked. The poor bastard had a bandage infused with an evil-smelling, green concoction wrapped from shin to thigh, and it was as much as he could do to down several cans of Sackville Red while he told me the story. Loz," he wheezed through blue lips shot with pain, "I should never have jumped off the shed roof.". Bloody hell - it's 16 feet high! It was an experiment, Loz - I made a pair of wings that I thought would get me soaring r...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: "Remember Montaperti!" (Part 2)

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010. 160;joint over there.' Whatever the case, they're pretty impressive, as is the entire city. We walked through its ancient gates, and a wide, straight boulevarde climbed up and up the hill, lined with shops and markets, all adorned with flags and inexplicable figurines and knick-knacks. It was glorious and vibrant, and hundreds of people were walking along, everyone (including me) with the most delicious gelato in the world stuffed in their mouths. Finally, it was time to lea...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: October 2009

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Thursday, October 29, 2009. 160;I must say, as a testament to my pre-eminent organisational skills. Anywhere here," he replied, indicating the acre or so of green steel. Somewhat taken aback, I remonstrated mildly, "You've got to be fucking kidding, mate! I pointed to the cabin I could see through the doorway, where rows of very comfortable-looking easy chairs adorned a tastefully-decorated indoor cabin. "That's where we are booked," I corrected him. You Great. Fucking. Idiot.". Now, dear reader, I know.

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: June 2009

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Thursday, June 25, 2009. I vant to suck your blood. Yesterday afternoon, here in Munich, we decided to catch a tram just to see where it would take us. We had no other motive than to simply see the sights, and get off at an interesting-looking Platz or two to take in a delightful Bavarian refreshment. We caught the number 12 from Rotkreuzplatz, where we are staying, and headed off down wide boulevardes lined with substantial and sturdy (and expensive, no doubt) houses. It was. We duly alighted, and were ...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: February 2010

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010. 160;joint over there.' Whatever the case, they're pretty impressive, as is the entire city. We walked through its ancient gates, and a wide, straight boulevarde climbed up and up the hill, lined with shops and markets, all adorned with flags and inexplicable figurines and knick-knacks. It was glorious and vibrant, and hundreds of people were walking along, everyone (including me) with the most delicious gelato in the world stuffed in their mouths. Finally, it was time to lea...

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: March 2010

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Thursday, March 25, 2010. Each little neat-as-a-pin farmhouse had a woodpile. And oh, what a majestic piece of architecture it was. Each stick of wood had been lopped to within a tolerance of half a millimetre for length, and split at a perfect one hundred and twenty degrees, then stacked with a precision that defied imagination, and common-sense, for that matter. For fuck's sake, they were just going to burn. 160;the stuff, after all. Everything was clean. 160;at a plate of udder tripe? I rest my case.

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The Critical Thinker's Speakeasy: The Year of Living Dormantly

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Monday, February 20, 2012. The Year of Living Dormantly. Now, where was I? We (the T.P. and I) hit the tarmac of Dublin airport courtesy of Ryan Air, a company that believes it is sound policy to pay a penny to piss in its aircraft. Ha, I thought - what are vomit-bags really there for, anyway? After some tasty victuals and a couple more pints of ambrosia, we returned the the conference centre, where our resident cosmologist, Oystein, gave a fascinating account of the evolution of fourteen billion years o...