myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: May 2011
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Tuesday, May 3, 2011. Is it the psychotherapist with his own syndicated Sirius satellite radio program? Is it the spiritual healer/nutritionist with the sweat lodge and organic hemp t-shirts? That is the thing; everyone says someone else has the answer. Not Fair—Explain that nothing is fair. You’re Not the Boss of Me—Try to Understand what the child is really trying to express. I want it now—Pretend not to hear it. I don’t like you—That hurts my feelings. 18 When I ...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: Welcome to the Neighborhood
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011/09/welcome-to-neighborhood.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Thursday, September 15, 2011. Welcome to the Neighborhood. My new neighbors are from Japan. You are probably thinking ‘so what? That is why I like to take my sister around in my culturally diverse community because, in addition to English, she speaks Japanese, some Korean, and a little Spanish. So I like to drag her around from place to place and play a little game I like to call “what are those foreign people saying? 8220;Are they Korean? I think that people, and b...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: June 2010
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Thursday, June 10, 2010. Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. All this talk about health care reform and yet, not a single line of the new health care bill is dedicated to the most important issue facing Americans today—hospital food. The house and senate have put together this monstrous package of legalese and yet they leave out something as critical as this? Or, why me? Or, why is my nurse/doctor trying to kill me? 8221; Only to serve you a thimble of app...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: March 2011
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Sunday, March 6, 2011. 15 Minutes of Fame. That is why I have created the list below to help you out. For those of you that would like to see your image on a low-budget website, potentially with your face partially obscured, here is what you must do. Ways to Improve Your Chances for Getting on "the People of Wal-Mart Dot Com". 1 Buy your clothes there. 2 Make sure the clothes that you buy there don’t fit. 3 Gain 600 pounds. 6 Stop taking your medication. 19 Forget &...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: October 2010
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Wednesday, October 27, 2010. I Can't Take You Anywhere. 8221; So we dressed for dinner and selected a restaurant that did not offer crayons, a drive thru, or nuggets of any kind and prepared ourselves for a romantic night on the town. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers, and middle-aged couples with one night of freedom will pretty much take anything. 8220;Do you think they are getting any bites? 8221; My husband asked. Then my husband leaned in close, looked at me w...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: February 2011
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011_02_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Monday, February 28, 2011. Recently I was contacted by a woman named Linda, who sent me this message: "Is it bad luck to have your husband's name tattooed on your body? I would be interested in your insights on this matter.” Now, I have never answered a reader’s questions before. But since I really am an authority on everything, I thought, what the heck. How do you salvage your body art? How do you salvage your dignity? There are several things you can do. Add words...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: Pottery Barn is Stalking Me
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011/08/pottery-barn-is-stalking-me.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Friday, August 5, 2011. Pottery Barn is Stalking Me. Why is it, when I go shopping, the cashier will not give me the purchased items until I complete a personal questionnaire? I went to the craft store last week and had two items to buy, but before the clerk would let me leave she peppered me with questions. 8220;Did you find everything you were looking for? 8220;No.”. 8220;Oh, that is too bad. Well what did you not find? 8220;Just a thing for my sister.”. 8220;Ok, ...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: It's Not Me, It's You
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011/10/its-not-me-its-you.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Wednesday, October 5, 2011. It's Not Me, It's You. You know, I have been on this earth a while now and I have come to a conclusion: people are crazy. I used to think there was something wrong with me but now I realize, it’s not me, it’s you. That may sound kind of harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. Listen, if you have a mental deficiency, why is that somehow my problem? What was that saying years ago? 8220;Where’s the beef? The craziness is everywhere! Oh, hairle...
myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com
My First Launch: September 2011
http://myfirstlaunch.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html
A laugh a day, keeps the crazies away. Thursday, September 15, 2011. Welcome to the Neighborhood. My new neighbors are from Japan. You are probably thinking ‘so what? That is why I like to take my sister around in my culturally diverse community because, in addition to English, she speaks Japanese, some Korean, and a little Spanish. So I like to drag her around from place to place and play a little game I like to call “what are those foreign people saying? 8220;Are they Korean? I think that people, and b...
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