alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: August 2009
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Monday, August 31, 2009. Sunday, August 30, 2009. To Whom It May Concern,. My name is Zack Eliasz and I’m writing in regards to your receptionist position. But, I’m not discouraged. I think that there is something to be learned from all of that rejection, and I think the thing I was supposed to realize is that I am destined to wind up with your company as the receptionist. If I had gotten any of those other jobs I wouldn’t have found this splendid opportunity for personal growth. I don’t have that! And I...
alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: September 2008
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008. Little wonders from the facebook graffiti application. fabulous. Tuesday, September 23, 2008. This will only make sense to a few people who've seen this piece at the decadence show. Tuesday, September 9, 2008. Once again popping pop art's balloon. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Needs: a job, to quit smoking, a literary agent. View my complete profile.
alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: April 2008
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Friday, April 25, 2008. I don't know how, from a legal standpoint, Jimmy Johns can classify their sandwiches as gourmet. Thursday, April 24, 2008. Inspired by those GAP commercials in the 90s. Friday, April 18, 2008. Thursday, April 17, 2008. Hey bfaw students, i wrote you a song. This story is massive. It's got plot holes as big as your ass is. Did you separate paragraphs with an asterisk? Did you proofread this story on acid? Is that an ellipsis? Did you think that represented time? Her name's Mary Sue.
gaponmyresume.blogspot.com
To Whom It May Concern: October 8th 2009, One word
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Thursday, October 8, 2009. October 8th 2009, One word. Number of resumes submitted: 32. Number of interviews: 3. Bank balance: 386.56 (downright disturbing). Number of Starbucks beverages purchased: 30. 8220;Due to the number of blind responses to a craigslist ad, we only review responses for those who may have actually read the ad. To confirm that you've read this ad, please forward resume and include only ONE word in your response. The ONE word should be one that describes you.”. I know, I know.
alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: May 2008
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Friday, May 30, 2008. I know that many of you stay up late at night dreaming sweet dreams about tee shirts with alpacas on them. Well, lovers, dream no more. Alpaca shirts are coming soon! This is just one of the 3 orgasmically wonderful designs that you can wear with alpacapride. So keep your fingers crossed for ALPACAPPAREL, to cover all of your lovely lady lumps (and the men too! Looks a little shabby, but this took forever! Thursday, May 29, 2008. Number three in the SUMMER MOVIE ALPACA month.
gaponmyresume.blogspot.com
To Whom It May Concern: October 5th 2009, Do these pants make my butt look employable?
http://gaponmyresume.blogspot.com/2009/10/october-5th-2009-do-these-pants-make-my.html
Monday, October 5, 2009. October 5th 2009, Do these pants make my butt look employable? Number of resumes submitted: 28. Number of interviews: 3. Bank balance: 926.07 (okay I gave in and bought myself a drink, or three). Number of Starbucks beverages purchased: 26. The veterinary clinic is in a little townhouse off the brown line that was very quaint and welcoming. Everyone there was really nice. All in all very hopeful. They also had the cutest little one eyed dog. Will find out today if I got the job.
alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: November 2008
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Needs: a job, to quit smoking, a literary agent. View my complete profile.
alpacatime.blogspot.com
Alpaca Fords the River: March 2010
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Sunday, March 7, 2010. Based on the Mirabakesso commercial. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Needs: a job, to quit smoking, a literary agent. View my complete profile.
gaponmyresume.blogspot.com
To Whom It May Concern: October 1st 2009, Networking working
http://gaponmyresume.blogspot.com/2009/10/october-1st-2009-networking-working.html
Thursday, October 1, 2009. October 1st 2009, Networking working. Number of resumes submitted: 28. Number of interviews: 3. Bank balance: 951.63. Number of Starbucks beverages purchased: 21. Have second interview with veterinary clinic, very excited for this. Position could actually be a very good fit for me. Working with college students: very similar to working with animals. Chances of being bitten, pissed on, or scratched: comparable. What can I say, art students are rowdy. Much more happy dance. So gl...
gaponmyresume.blogspot.com
To Whom It May Concern: September 2009
http://gaponmyresume.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html
Monday, September 28, 2009. September 28th 2009, A small minority. 8220;Listeners to the free Pandora service are limited to a total of 40 hours each month. Only a tiny minority of our listeners will ever reach that limit…”. Suffice to say being unemployed has actually caused me to reach the 40-hour listening limit on Pandora. Can I go on living? September 28th 2009, A people person. Number of resumes submitted: 26. Number of interviews: 2 (phone interviews count! Bank balance: 951.63. So hearing about h...