evanschiller.blogspot.com

Conventional Stupidity

Thursday, August 18, 2011. At the age of four, I streamlined streamlining. Two years later, I developed a suite of best-in-class best practices with my best friend. By nine, I had all my ducks in a row. I have survived three perfect storms. But that's the 20,000 foot view. Let's drill down. You got the bandwidth? I capture eyeballs. I push the envelope to the bleeding edge. I don't have "fulfillment issues". I once leveraged an entire bucket of secret sauce. Monday, March 1, 2010. Especially not on Amazon.

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Conventional Stupidity | evanschiller.blogspot.com Reviews

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Thursday, August 18, 2011. At the age of four, I streamlined streamlining. Two years later, I developed a suite of best-in-class best practices with my best friend. By nine, I had all my ducks in a row. I have survived three perfect storms. But that's the 20,000 foot view. Let's drill down. You got the bandwidth? I capture eyeballs. I push the envelope to the bleeding edge. I don't have fulfillment issues. I once leveraged an entire bucket of secret sauce. Monday, March 1, 2010. Especially not on Amazon.

<META> KEYWORDS

1 useless buzzwords

2 uselessbuzzwords

3 posted by

4 evan

5 17 comments

6 labels advertising

7 4 comments

8 labels stupid people

9 delicious chalsa

10 how about jellynutter

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useless buzzwords,uselessbuzzwords,posted by,evan,17 comments,labels advertising,4 comments,labels stupid people,delicious chalsa,how about jellynutter,done,more specifically f,oh hiya,oh ****,11 comments,labels bizarre,politics,good,3 comments,labels wtf

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Conventional Stupidity | evanschiller.blogspot.com Reviews

https://evanschiller.blogspot.com

Thursday, August 18, 2011. At the age of four, I streamlined streamlining. Two years later, I developed a suite of best-in-class best practices with my best friend. By nine, I had all my ducks in a row. I have survived three perfect storms. But that's the 20,000 foot view. Let's drill down. You got the bandwidth? I capture eyeballs. I push the envelope to the bleeding edge. I don't have "fulfillment issues". I once leveraged an entire bucket of secret sauce. Monday, March 1, 2010. Especially not on Amazon.

INTERNAL PAGES

evanschiller.blogspot.com

1

Conventional Stupidity: Flu Shots

http://evanschiller.blogspot.com/2010/01/flu-shots.html

Tuesday, January 12, 2010. A (rather nosey) friend of mine recently asked via email (I have no idea whatsoever why this medium was chosen) whether or not I was vaccinated for H1N1 (I'm not sure if that's the swine or bird variety, but as you'll shorty see, I don't give a fuck.) Yes, I'm aware this is old news. But I literally got this email yesterday, sue me. She's the one who fucked up. A money making scheme. So there's your prudent advice for the next global pandemic. Just contract the damn thing a...

2

Conventional Stupidity: Oh, Venice...

http://evanschiller.blogspot.com/2008/12/oh-venice.html

Wednesday, December 3, 2008. More from the flood. December 4, 2008 at 2:42 PM. I love how your reaction to a city that's been flooding for hundreds, maybe thousands, of years is: Damn George Bush. December 5, 2008 at 3:47 AM. Well, somehow, someway, even obscurely, it's his fault. Global warming, maybe? I'll find a way. December 7, 2008 at 9:46 PM. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). You may have reached the promised land. Can I make sense in 140 characters or less? Evanschiller [at] gmail.com.

3

Conventional Stupidity: Delicious Chalsa

http://evanschiller.blogspot.com/2010/02/delicious-chalsa.html

Tuesday, February 9, 2010. When I was a kid, peanut butter and jelly came in two jars. I know those Smucker's fuckers are trying to create a new category. Based on the (probably valid) assumption that people are too lazy to open more than one jar; but I ain't buying it, figuratively or literally. Especially not on Amazon. If you're trying to make it in the condiment combination big leagues, you'd at least better come up with a kick ass name. For example. And the same goes for chalsa. If Palin gets electe...

4

Conventional Stupidity: Celebrex Will Fucking Kill You

http://evanschiller.blogspot.com/2009/04/celebrex-will-fucking-kill-you.html

Thursday, April 16, 2009. Celebrex Will Fucking Kill You. Maybe a little. True? I'll let the ad speak for itself. Did you happen to notice that the commercial, 1) was over two minutes long, 2) consisted almost solely of side effects, 3) used said side effects as pretty much the entire visual aesthetic, and 4) ended with the tagline: "Celebrex: Understand the risks, see the benefits."? Cause honestly, when you put that shit together, you've gotta wonder - why bother making a commercial in the first place?

5

Conventional Stupidity: KSL

http://evanschiller.blogspot.com/2009/11/ksl.html

Wednesday, November 18, 2009. For most, Klingon as a second language (KSL) is probably sufficiently nerdy. But not for this dude. A man who spoke to his infant son ONLY in Klingon for the first three years of his existence. According to Mr. Speers, he's not even a huge Star Trek fan, he just wanted to see what would happen:. Well, that's good. At 3, the poor kid was. To learn Klingon. With any luck, Worf Jr. be fluent by kindergarten, just in time for schoolyard ass beatings. Theyd be screwed up for life!

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nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: When I'm President King part XXIV

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008/10/when-im-president-king-part-xxiv.html

Derailed trains of thought. Saturday, October 18, 2008. When I'm President King part XXIV. I may have written about this before, if so I apologize to those have heard it already. But when I'm President King the advertised sale price of grocery items (specifically the sale tags at the supermarket) will first have multi unit sale prices that are divisible by 2. What brings this on tonight? That's what, $1.67 each? So I think I'll get a little more clarity on this by looking at the fine print that. Pouring ...

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: Breakfast with Cindy

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008/09/breakfast-with-cindy.html

Derailed trains of thought. Thursday, September 25, 2008. My friend Cindy and I have a place that we really like for breakfast. It's a 2 hour round trip to get there, the hollandaise. Is that good. I'm not going to tell you the name of it because you will go there and the wait will be even longer. Usually it's about an hour wait to get a table.actually we could probably have minimized the wait but we specified the patio. And a woman with a devastating. While I was waiting in line to put our name on the l...

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: September 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Saturday, September 27, 2008. I was at the Dr.'s office and the 2 receptionists are having a conversation. First receptionist: Are you sure it's not pronounced 'Focusia'? I assume they are talking about some new ADHD medication. Second receptionist: I'm telling you, you're saying it. Here lets ask him. She points at me. She hands me a piece of paper. It is a takeout menu. She points to one of the sandwiches listed. Thursday, September 25, 2008. And a woman with a devastating.

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: April 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Monday, April 28, 2008. So I'm at it again. Once more I have done myself grievous harm. This Sunday I was cleaning in a furious fashion. I got thirsty. I went to the fridge to grab something to drink. I opened the freezer and my iron came rocketing down off of the top of the fridge like a goddamn scud missile and impacted my ankle with bad intentions. That fucking iron was out to get me. You know the knobby little bit of bone that sticks out on the side of your ankle? M: Well,...

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: Gaydar

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008/11/gaydar.html

Derailed trains of thought. Saturday, November 8, 2008. Becca and I attended an information session for a Phd. Program she really wants to enroll in at the Morgridge. One of the administrators that we got to sit down and talk to was a guy I would guess to be in his mid 40's. Nice understated suit, stylish glasses.and a nose stud. A dainty little little nose stud like a woman would wear. What the hell kind of half owl/half man hybrid had they named this building after? And he wasn't setting it off.".

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: July 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Tuesday, July 29, 2008. I made mention of the fact that I work with a woman named Jamie that is a bit of a bitch. I'm fixin' to talk about Jamie. She is nonstop drama. Some people are like that everything has to be a big fucking issue. Whatever. I realized pretty quickly that everybody is automatically on her shit list and I tried to get off that list by being cool with her.that was a mistake. So I spent the better part of a day antagonizing her.and we got along famously.

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: Censoship People has reared its Ugly head.

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008/10/censoship-people-has-reared-its-ugly.html

Derailed trains of thought. Tuesday, October 21, 2008. Censoship People has reared its Ugly head. I knew this day would come. Well it's official, I have been censored on the internet. You know what that means? The Terrorists Have Already Won. I can try to go to the mall and buy a bunch of useless crap I don't need like President Jackass has suggested.but it might be too little, too late. I'm afraid they really may have already won and there is nothing a vibrating leather chair can do about it. October 21...

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: November 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Saturday, November 8, 2008. Becca and I attended an information session for a Phd. Program she really wants to enroll in at the Morgridge. One of the administrators that we got to sit down and talk to was a guy I would guess to be in his mid 40's. Nice understated suit, stylish glasses.and a nose stud. A dainty little little nose stud like a woman would wear. What the hell kind of half owl/half man hybrid had they named this building after? And he wasn't setting it off.".

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: October 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Monday, October 27, 2008. Signs That Your Campaign Might be In Trouble. If a former Secretary Of State. And National Security Advisor. And Chairman Of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff. Who is a member of your. Party endorses your opponent? Your campaign might be in trouble. If your most recent endorsement is.lets see.oh, I know:. You are in even worse trouble than I thought. That's deep shit right there. In terms of having the faith of powerful, influential people behind you. Wandere...

nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com

I'm just saying...: March 2008

http://nothingpersonalbut.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html

Derailed trains of thought. Sunday, March 23, 2008. Easter story.but My Easter Story. A few years ago we were at my moms house around Easter time. My mom asked me if it was ok if she took Turbo to an Easter egg hunt at her church. It was kind of funny how she asked. I don’t attend church. I am not against church attendance per se it’s just not for me. But sometimes my family acts like I would freak out if they so much as drove Turbo by a church. I wasn’t scared. I’m pretty sure it’s not like:. Turbo: doe...

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Conventional Stupidity

Thursday, August 18, 2011. At the age of four, I streamlined streamlining. Two years later, I developed a suite of best-in-class best practices with my best friend. By nine, I had all my ducks in a row. I have survived three perfect storms. But that's the 20,000 foot view. Let's drill down. You got the bandwidth? I capture eyeballs. I push the envelope to the bleeding edge. I don't have "fulfillment issues". I once leveraged an entire bucket of secret sauce. Monday, March 1, 2010. Especially not on Amazon.

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