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the herman letters: Post # 298 - Cheerios and Multigrain Cheerios -- Strange Breakfast-Fellows
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2013/03/post-298-cheerios-and-multigrain.html
Tuesday, March 19, 2013. Post # 298 - Cheerios and Multigrain Cheerios - Strange Breakfast-Fellows. Dear General Mills,. I am a huge fan of your products. Each morning, I enjoy your Cheerios. To keep life "interesting," I alternate boxes- standard issue Cheerios, a fixture American breakfast fare for generations, and Multigrain Cheerios. For a moment, I pondered adding some Multigrain Cheerios to my standard Cheerio breakfast bowl. What would happen? Would it pleasure my palate? Porridge and Lucky Charms?
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the herman letters: Post # 299 - Banquet - Crumby Chicken Nuggets
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2013/04/post-299-banquet-crumby-chicken-nuggets.html
Friday, April 5, 2013. Post # 299 - Banquet - Crumby Chicken Nuggets. I am a loyal and lifelong customer. When it comes to parties, festive occasions, wakes, and everyday meals, I count on Banquet. One might say that I'm 54% composed of Banquet Chicken. When I decided to host a Super Bowl party, what was on the top of my shopping list? Except, when I opened the box, I found 24 nuggets and a VERY big pile of crumbs. My guests grew hungry and left before halftime. My party was labeled a dud. I am so sorry ...
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the herman letters: August 2009
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html
Friday, August 28, 2009. Post #11 - The Dial Corporation - "Operation Brillo Sheep". This was a note that I sent to Brillo, which, as I learned, is a division of Dial. It was sent on 6/17/1997. Dear Pad Daddies,. The pads still need to be formed, but I’ve produced two males and three females so far, and I plan to breed them. I’m feeding them their normal allotment of hay, mixed with iron ore dust and water (to prevent sneezes). Are you interested in pursuing “Operation Brillo Sheep”? Note from “Mar...
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the herman letters: Post # 35 - Starbucks Weather Reporter - 9/9/2009
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2009/10/post-35-starbucks-weather-reporter.html
Friday, October 16, 2009. Post # 35 - Starbucks Weather Reporter - 9/9/2009. I wrote this letter to a friend who is a loyal customer to Starbucks, but had encountered three bad visits very recently in Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, and West Bloomfield. Names were changed to protect the innocent. This was sent 9/9/2009. As your brand becomes increasingly popular, it becomes easier to get my fix. And now, your stores are popping up everywhere—grocery stores, Target, and on the cozy corners of Anytown, ...She sou...
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the herman letters: Post # 297 - Subway No Longer Serves the Cheese With The Holes In It - 9/22/12
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2013/03/post-297-subway-no-longer-serves-cheese.html
Friday, March 8, 2013. Post # 297 - Subway No Longer Serves the Cheese With The Holes In It - 9/22/12. I see you've finally done it. You have eliminated the cheese with the holes in it from your selection of fine cheeses. This was all made possible by the cheese with the holes, that you have stopped carrying. So now the meat stays on one side, the vegetable matter stays on the other. Like a divorced couple who refuses to vacate their house. Please bring back the cheese with the holes. You May Also Enjoy:.
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the herman letters: Post # 171 - Sargento and the Swiss Cheese Lie
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2010/10/post-155-sargento-and-swiss-cheese-lie.html
Wednesday, March 30, 2011. Post # 171 - Sargento and the Swiss Cheese Lie. We live in 2010. I can check my email on the other side of the world, climbing a mountain. Using my cell phone. I can download a movie and watch it without even getting up. They’re making Sequeways that operate using eyeball movements. Why does Swiss cheese still have the holes in it? Are the holes still there to appease us? To make us feel secure? Is there fear in the dairy industry, that a Hole-less Swiss would freak people out?
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the herman letters: October 2009
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html
Thursday, October 29, 2009. Post #40 - Sears Wet/Dry Vac and the 5 Foot Power Cord. I sent this on 6/15/1997:. I bought your Craftsman 8 gallon/3 horsepower Wet/Dry vacuum for use in finishing our Rhompus Room add-on. I was stunned—no, floored to find that your product has a five foot cord. It turned my whole world upside-down. If I have an eight gallon puddle, and a five foot cord, you are suggesting that I stand in the water while I plug it in. Sweeping Instead of Sucking,. Dear Mr. Herman,. We would l...
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the herman letters: Post # 160 - TGI Friday and the Tuesday Vibe - 1/15/2011
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2011/01/post-160-tgi-friday-and-tuesday-vibe.html
Sunday, January 16, 2011. Post # 160 - TGI Friday and the Tuesday Vibe - 1/15/2011. Dear TGI Friday's,. As a morning weather personality, I try to avoid the night life, and keep my figure thin and slender, so I don’t “cover the whole map” as we say in the biz. I avoid restaurants with delicious food and drinks because my will power is weak. I had never been to your restaurant, despite all of the hype. 8220;You’ve never been to TGI Friday’s? 8220;It feels like Friday every day in there.”. I ordered the Ja...
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the herman letters: Post # 300 - Softsoap and Their Nozzle Booger
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2013/06/post-300-softsoap-and-their-nozzle.html
Sunday, June 23, 2013. Post # 300 - Softsoap and Their Nozzle Booger. Dinner was progressing nicely. Men in tuxes and women in little black dresses sipped imported wines and craft beers, enjoying bacon-wrapped scallops, listening to a local jazz trio. Conversation was light, and prime rib was ready to go, with cherries jubilee waiting in the wings. Things were going great- several deals were in the works. I emerged empty handed to a crowd of disappointed on-lookers. He said, "No luck? I picked the booger...
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the herman letters: Post# 187 - My Proposal to Governor Snyder
http://thehermanletters.blogspot.com/2011/06/post-187-my-proposal-to-governor-snyder.html
Tuesday, June 28, 2011. Post# 187 - My Proposal to Governor Snyder. I sent this to our Governor on 2/6/2011. Dear Governor Snyder,. Somewhere, as I type this, someone is committing a felony. Within a year, they will hopefully be sentenced to reside in one of our 40 federal prisons, along with over 50,000 others. I didn’t ask them to choose a life of crime. I didn’t ask for my share of the over $30,000 in taxpayer dollars per inmate that we must pay every year. I’ve always been a fan of chain gangs. Healt...
