thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: November 2014
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2014_11_01_archive.html
Friday, November 21, 2014. Do I Care Who Knows My Secrets? I was reading this article this morning - http:/ www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/18/bipolar-disorder-ellen-forney n 5823138.html. And it triggered some thoughts for me. First, how many people have I told about my mental illness and what percentage of negative versus positive reactions have I gotten from them (not including medical professionals)? Let’s explore;. AA – apathy. Support group online – positive, helpful. AM – positive, empathetic.
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: April 2016
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2016_04_01_archive.html
Monday, April 18, 2016. Recovery: So What Now? You know what's weird about recovery? If I'm not binging, or picking, or obsessing. What the hell am I doing? It's like there's a great big hole in my life tonight. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't there yesterday and it probably won't be there tomorrow. But, tonight feels very weird. So during these sick weeks I had zero appetite. The thought of food made me ill and all I ate was crackers, jello, applesauce, and maybe. Do you know what I'm having right now?
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: Recovery: So What Now?
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2016/04/recovery-so-what-now.html
Monday, April 18, 2016. Recovery: So What Now? You know what's weird about recovery? If I'm not binging, or picking, or obsessing. What the hell am I doing? It's like there's a great big hole in my life tonight. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't there yesterday and it probably won't be there tomorrow. But, tonight feels very weird. So during these sick weeks I had zero appetite. The thought of food made me ill and all I ate was crackers, jello, applesauce, and maybe. Do you know what I'm having right now?
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: Filling Time
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2015/09/filling-time.html
Sunday, September 27, 2015. Sometimes things will really hit me. Like tonight, maybe it's the super-red-moon or the fact that there's someone outside my window looking at the moon and I kinda wanted to go out and look at it too, but I saw myself in the mirror and I look like an insane homeless person right now. So I can't go outside. I started counting my steps when I work on Saturdays since I do a TON of walking, and I'll count it as an exercise day as long as I reach 10,000 steps. I did 23,000 last...
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: My TV addiction
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2015/08/my-tv-addiction.html
Monday, August 10, 2015. Let's talk about how boring writing is and how much I've needed noise in my life since college. So, lately my obsession has been watching vlogbrothers. Hopefully he's not a unicorn. Dating sucks ass, you guys, but I'm not really wanting to talk about that right now. Thinking about thinking, and then changing how you think, is incredibly. Anyway, when I was so sick with depression, TV was a fantastic balm. Books didn't work because my anxiety level was so high for a year I phy...
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: I Am a Hermit, Don't Ask Me Questions
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2015/10/i-am-hermit-dont-ask-me-questions.html
Sunday, October 25, 2015. I Am a Hermit, Don't Ask Me Questions. So, lately I've been doing pretty well and going about my business like a normal person. Then tonight, I'm at my friends' house playing board games and they start talking politics. It's late, and they have moved seamlessly from one topic to this one and there was no chance to excuse myself. I DON'T EVEN WATCH THE NEWS BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF AND BE UPSET ALL THE TIME! Please visit my blogs.
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: Republican Gamers, Homophobes, and Staying Home
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2016/01/republican-gamers-homophobes-and.html
Monday, January 25, 2016. Republican Gamers, Homophobes, and Staying Home. I can't believe it's been three months since I last talked to those Republican Gamers. The DM did text me and asked me back over for a game night a month later but I turned it down. They have not asked again. I guess I just didn't feel like I could go back over there. I'm sorry, I was really just enjoying your company as a friend and I'm not really interested in anything more.". But in front of everyone? In my last post. It we...
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: December 2014
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2014_12_01_archive.html
Sunday, December 14, 2014. That Serial Killer I Dated, Part I. But at the time I was just annoyed and took it like I always take things like that: pissed off inside but not really clicking that it’s wrong for someone to do that to me. I pushed the feelings down, said nothing and kept walking. He pushed me a few times. I thought about taking the elevator to be sure that I wouldn’t fall down the stairs in the parking garage. 8220;He raped her but he married her afterwards.”. He put on an old, obscure movie...
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: October 2015
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2015_10_01_archive.html
Sunday, October 25, 2015. I Am a Hermit, Don't Ask Me Questions. So, lately I've been doing pretty well and going about my business like a normal person. Then tonight, I'm at my friends' house playing board games and they start talking politics. It's late, and they have moved seamlessly from one topic to this one and there was no chance to excuse myself. I DON'T EVEN WATCH THE NEWS BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF AND BE UPSET ALL THE TIME! Monday, October 19, 2015.
thebluemorpho.blogspot.com
The Blue Morpho: June 2016
http://thebluemorpho.blogspot.com/2016_06_01_archive.html
Thursday, June 23, 2016. Good and bad things have happened, that's not what this is about. I can clearly feel that this is my chemistry cycling into depression just as it has many times before. I was happy earlier, then irritated, angry, now sad. I just don't want to be this sad. I guess I have to pay the price for the high I felt earlier. AND I've asked my meds doctor to add something for anxiety because I have been on the edge of my seat nearly every moment of the day. It takes so much for me to re...