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underneaththestairwell.com

| Vid Games and Choge Boys -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/vid-games-and-choge-boys-2

Vid Games and Choge Boys. Being a child of 80s, a disproportionate amount of my time was spent in video game arcades and they have a special place in my memory. I am not talking about the later, sanitised franchises like Timezone. The arcades of the 80s were menacing electronic caverns inhabited by degenerates and drug dealers with skinheads out front picking fights. Some of my standout arcade memories. Pac-Man Arcade, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong. One of the largest, Pac-Man arcade in Causeway Bay even had a...

underneaththestairwell.com

| The Devil Dog of Varanasi -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/the-devil-dog-of-varanasi

The Devil Dog of Varanasi. After several years living ‘clean and sober’ I relapsed in a spectacular fashion whilst on a holiday in India in 1994. Me and my girlfriend were on a year long trip through Thailand, Hong Kong, Nepal and India. In no time I was pretty much insanely high from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to sleep. Our holiday was suddenly characterised by extreme levels of paranoia and strange, unpredictable behaviour on my part. That is one of the first things we saw from the ba...

underneaththestairwell.com

| The Netwerk -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/the-netwerk

This short story was printed in Unbelievably Bad #16. That is one side effect that I can live with; the complete loss of libido. I never fully appreciated how much my life was controlled by that imperious urge – how everything I did was to fulfil its demands. Methadone is life in stasis, I have resigned from nature. Attendance mandatory severe penalties apply for lateness or non-attendance! 10am @ the Netwerk. She asks as she adjusts the dispenser level. So what’s the occasion? All in good time, mate, ju...

underneaththestairwell.com

| Life Under The Flight Path -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/life-flight-path

Life Under The Flight Path. Throughout the 90s, I don’t think I lived in one place longer than six months. Tenancy invariably ended in eviction and the son-of-a-bitch real estate agents always kept the bond. It was about this time that I declared war on real estate agents and instituted my scorched earth policy – but more on that later. At first we had our differences, and one afternoon whilst loaded on benzos, I smashed up the stereo and most of the living room with a rounders bat that I kept in my room.

underneaththestairwell.com

| 50 Cent Millionaire -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/50-cent-millionaire

I suspect that being a writer is an exquisite form of mental illness. After all, who in their right mind would choose a life of isolation, poverty and addiction? I am not talking about uni-students and other fuckwits who are in love with the idea. Of being a writer and spend their days chatting idly in cafes and spending their art grant money. Yes, the writer is an unlovely creature! A man at odds with himself and nature, beset with the paradox of misanthropy and lustif only he could fuck his writing!

underneaththestairwell.com

| Fluffy Browneye Spice -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/fluffy-browneye-spice

Believe it or not, this article has nothing to do with browneyes or the chucking thereof. A pommy bastard once enquired of me what the cultural difference between Australia and Britain was. I responded by telling him this: In merry old England one ‘throws a moony’ it is rather polite in the way that it is thrown. Almost as if a spiffy chap is going to catch it. Technically, the pasty white Britisher buttocks are exposed and resemble a moon, hence the term ‘moony’. This two decade long streak was only int...

underneaththestairwell.com

| Neighbour from Hell -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/jabsy-in-the-sky-with-diamantes

This article appeared in Unbelievably Bad. Being a broke-ass-honky-starving-artist isn’t that bad in western society. It’s not like you are. Going to starve to death. If worse comes to worse you may have to eat at soup kitchens – which are great for new material. My mate’s place was at 66 Lansdowne Avenue in Parkdale (AKA ‘Crackdale’) and was an old two storey house that had been separated into a downstairs and upstairs rental. Her hair was all over the place and had bits of Doritos suspended in it. ...

underneaththestairwell.com

| Raw Power -

http://underneaththestairwell.com/raw-power

This story was printed in Unbelievably Bad #14. I was just going through the motions really. Meanwhile, my mind drifted off on a cloud of indifference. Sarah turned around and looked at me with smoky eyes. Why don’t you put it up my arse? I thought about it for a second, after-all, she did have a nice arse. Instead I pulled out and fell heavily on the bed next to her. She asked, suddenly self-conscious. I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes. Then I thought about how I was going to do it. Worst of all w...