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The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/poem

I may not be strong enough. To climb the highest mountains. To swim the deepest seas. But I’m brave enough. To love you with all that I have. And still foolish enough. To believe that love is enough. I'm actually way more cynical than this. The way we used to be. If I could make my wish come true,. I would wish that you were here with me. I’d hold you close, you’d hold me too,. And we’d be the way we used to be. If I could only turn back time,. I would do things oh so differently. The way we used to be.

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/the-maiden

The Maiden - Pt 1. Once upon a midday stinking of an evening’s heavy drinking,. Alcohol and body odour slinking out of every pore. There I wavered, weak and weary, when at once there came a cheery. Greeting from the maiden that I’d taken home the night before. Rdquo; she blurted bright and breezy, “since you seem a little queasy,. Might you care to join me in a gentle stroll across the moor? Ldquo;No” I grumbled, craving slumber. “Just go home and leave your number.”. Something struck me as amiss though ...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/shit

We English have a certain word, I always have detested it. In terms of its offensiveness no other word has bested it. It’s mainly used in reference to your food once you’ve digested it. I’m hesitant to write it though I’m sure by now you’ve guessed at it. The usage of this word is the epitome of crudity. The only thing that makes us more uncomfortable is nudity. And so it was decided that we’d take the opportunity. To find a way to talk about this substance with impunity. Too) To get through all the rest...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/parodies

The Maiden - Pt 1. Once upon a midday stinking of an evening’s heavy drinking,. Alcohol and body odour slinking out of every pore. There I wavered, weak and weary, when at once there came a cheery. Greeting from the maiden that I’d taken home the night before. Rdquo; she blurted bright and breezy, “since you seem a little queasy,. Might you care to join me in a gentle stroll across the moor? Ldquo;No” I grumbled, craving slumber. “Just go home and leave your number.”. Something struck me as amiss though ...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist — The Maiden - Pt 2

http://thelimerist.com/post/84665678856/the-maiden-pt-2

The Maiden - Pt 2. Now in search of explication, wary of her indignation,. Cautiously I tried to find a clean and wholesome metaphor,. But before I had to try and speak of “roads less travelled by” she. Tearfully confessed as if her heart could bear the shame no more. Although it might upset you, yes! Rdquo; she cried, “last night I let you. Raid my booty’s depths like some intestinal conquistador! Ldquo;Please before you cast aspersions, try to temper your aversion. Rdquo; she cried with every sentence,.

thelimerist.com

The Limerist — Enough

http://thelimerist.com/post/92471052813/enough

I may not be strong enough. To climb the highest mountains. To swim the deepest seas. But I’m brave enough. To love you with all that I have. And still foolish enough. To believe that love is enough. I'm actually way more cynical than this.

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/lady-geraldine's-courtship

The Maiden - Pt 1. Once upon a midday stinking of an evening’s heavy drinking,. Alcohol and body odour slinking out of every pore. There I wavered, weak and weary, when at once there came a cheery. Greeting from the maiden that I’d taken home the night before. Rdquo; she blurted bright and breezy, “since you seem a little queasy,. Might you care to join me in a gentle stroll across the moor? Ldquo;No” I grumbled, craving slumber. “Just go home and leave your number.”. Something struck me as amiss though ...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/poetry

We English have a certain word, I always have detested it. In terms of its offensiveness no other word has bested it. It’s mainly used in reference to your food once you’ve digested it. I’m hesitant to write it though I’m sure by now you’ve guessed at it. The usage of this word is the epitome of crudity. The only thing that makes us more uncomfortable is nudity. And so it was decided that we’d take the opportunity. To find a way to talk about this substance with impunity. Too) To get through all the rest...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/this-is-pretty-much-my-magnum-opus

The Maiden - Pt 1. Once upon a midday stinking of an evening’s heavy drinking,. Alcohol and body odour slinking out of every pore. There I wavered, weak and weary, when at once there came a cheery. Greeting from the maiden that I’d taken home the night before. Rdquo; she blurted bright and breezy, “since you seem a little queasy,. Might you care to join me in a gentle stroll across the moor? Ldquo;No” I grumbled, craving slumber. “Just go home and leave your number.”. Something struck me as amiss though ...

thelimerist.com

The Limerist

http://thelimerist.com/tagged/edgar-allan-poe

The Maiden - Pt 1. Once upon a midday stinking of an evening’s heavy drinking,. Alcohol and body odour slinking out of every pore. There I wavered, weak and weary, when at once there came a cheery. Greeting from the maiden that I’d taken home the night before. Rdquo; she blurted bright and breezy, “since you seem a little queasy,. Might you care to join me in a gentle stroll across the moor? Ldquo;No” I grumbled, craving slumber. “Just go home and leave your number.”. Something struck me as amiss though ...