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HAMMERHEAD THEATER...true tales of my coworker.
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/
...true tales of my coworker.
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/
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HAMMERHEAD THEATER | hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com Reviews
https://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com
...true tales of my coworker.
hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com
HAMMERHEAD THEATER: hammerhead vs. scone day
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/2011/06/hammerhead-vs-scone-day.html
True tales of my coworker. Saturday, June 18, 2011. Hammerhead vs. scone day. Hammerhead enters the office carrying two paper bags with grease stains on them, indicating something edible inside that diabetics probably aren't supposed to have. She's also carrying a paper plate with eight things of jelly and ten pats of butter. Hammerhead: It's scone day in the cafeteria! Me: Wow, how many did you get? Hammerhead: Five. I got the biggest ones I could find. Look at this one! See BARB in next office.". Ten y...
HAMMERHEAD THEATER: hammerhead vs. esl trainee
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/2012/04/hammerhead-vs-esl-trainee.html
True tales of my coworker. Tuesday, April 3, 2012. Hammerhead vs. esl trainee. A Polish lady who doesn't speak a whole lot of English is receiving instruction from Hammerhead in the art of data entry. She just timidly arrived and was accosted by both Hammerhead and Sharon. Talking extra loudly in an attempt to bridge the language barrier]: Well, THERE you are. Have a seat! Lady sits down.]. NO no no, she can't sit in that seat! Lady looks scared and stands back up.]. NO, it's okay! You get another chair!
HAMMERHEAD THEATER: hammerhead vs. management
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/2011/12/hammerhead-vs-management.html
True tales of my coworker. Wednesday, December 14, 2011. Hammerhead vs. management. Two manager types who have doctoral degrees just came into the office looking for one of the supervisors. Well…I don’t know. I don’t think so. No, probably not. Well, I don’t really know. She worked yesterday but I’m not real sure about her schedule —. Cutting her off] Well, can we leave a message for her? Hammerhead hands them a notepad decorated with wolves.]. I just LOVE wolves! Look at my calendar! Who would bound int...
HAMMERHEAD THEATER: hammerhead vs. lane bryant
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/2011/06/hammerhead-vs-lane-bryant.html
True tales of my coworker. Thursday, June 30, 2011. Hammerhead vs. lane bryant. Today Hammerhead is wearing a shirt with leopard-print sleeves and pictures of leaves all over the front with tigers peering from behind them. Their eyes and whiskers are made of gold beads. Today she smells like brie. This weekend I got $513 worth of clothes for only $126! Better get back in my dressing room before I make them all jealous." And I got a 25% discount because I modeled the clothes. I did not say picnic! Ten yea...
HAMMERHEAD THEATER: hammerhead vs. fiber
http://hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com/2011/12/hammerhead-vs-fiber.html
True tales of my coworker. Wednesday, December 21, 2011. Hammerhead vs. fiber. Talking out loud to no one in particular) Crap, I can't find the listing for this diagnosis. Wondering if I should even bring this up with Hammerhead) Um, black stool. Maybe he ate a bunch of spinach and artichoke hearts. That always makes MY stool black. December 21, 2011 at 2:28 PM. I had no idea this existed! And looked very concerned. December 21, 2011 at 2:57 PM. I hope you dont get black stool from it. Sorry, i'm curious.
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swellenore: March 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html
Thursday, March 22, 2012. The Note Card Debacle. In the grand life of an event planner, I often have to order stationary and custom invitations. I have to do this through Lenore.). ACT I: Lenore's Desk. I email Lenore a link to order cards and envelopes and walk over to her desk to give her further explanation. Lenore is staring at her computer screen.). I don't have the password and was told I have to order through you. This is a major rush job. Lenore: (slowly turning around in her chair to face me).
swellenore: May 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_05_01_archive.html
Thursday, May 31, 2012. Lenore is sitting beside my desk pushing pre-sliced Safeway-brand salami. And Saltine crackers on me. I politely sample her givings.). Me: Mmm, good. I told you. This is the best salami. Ever. Try some more. Me: I'm okay, but thank you. L: More. Have some. Just try it. (I take another slice of the salami and a cracker.). Take two pieces of salami and tell me what you think. (I take another piece of salami and place it on top on the cracker.). Me: (taking a bite). Just watching it ...
swellenore: October 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_10_01_archive.html
Tuesday, October 23, 2012. Lenore Pops By the Office. I'm sitting in my office talking to a coworker when Lenore walks in unexpectedly. I gasp a little louder than I should. There's lots of commotion, cross-talk, and hugs as people in the office gather around to greet her.). Coworker: So how is it on the other side of the river? Me: How's all the packing going? Are you still moving out of your house? L: Oh, yes. Me and St. Vincent de Paul have become great friends. I'm happy to see it go. L: A bed sheet.
swellenore: February 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html
Tuesday, February 28, 2012. Morning. I'm near Lenore's desk, checking my mail. She is watching a video on her computer of a cow being branded.). Me: Learning to brand cattle? No, this is a video of my nephew and uncle. Can you believe they still do this burning stuff to cows and things? Me: Sure, I guess. Lenore: I think it is just, just awful. I hate when they hurt animals. And he, my uncle, even hunts deer and shoots them! Grabs chest in a gesture of disbelief). Lenore: Like with earrings? No, not for ...
swellenore: April 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_04_01_archive.html
Monday, April 16, 2012. Guess What Lenore Saw. Lenore scuttles into my office.). Lenore: Hey, I wanted to tell you.guess what I saw today? Me: Uh, I don't know. What? Me: Okay, um, as it a-. L: It's strange, really, you know, strange to see a city. Lenore recoils in shock.). How did you know that? Me: Oh, really? You saw a pig? Wow I can't believe you guessed that. Me: Did it have a snout and floppy ears? You did see it. Me: No, I'm kidding. I swear. All pigs have snouts and floppy ears. Why, I wonder?
swellenore: July 2011
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html
Friday, July 29, 2011. I Guess She'll Die. Today I had a big mailing and needed Lenore's help stuffing envelopes. Often I have to speak slowly and micro manage her to keep her on task or risk the job at hand overwhelming the poor lady. And sometimes I over explain and makes things worse. Me: (demonstrating as I'm explaining). Lenore fumbles around, puts the RSVP card in the larger envelope and doesn't know what to with the RSVP card's envelope or the invitation.). L: Okay, easy enough. L: What old lady?
swellenore: Lenore is Retiring
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012/07/lenore-is-retiring.html
Monday, July 23, 2012. Lenore is retiring. Tuesday, July 31, 2012 is her last day and sadly, very sadly in fact, I will be away on a business trip to Orlando and miss her farewell tour. When I came in this morning, I reminded her of this fact.). Me: So, are you really gone next Tuesday? Lenore: Yes sir, I'm done. El gone-oh. Me: I won't be here. I have to go to that conference all next week. Lenore: Oh, really? Where are you going? Me: Orlando. It's going to be so muggy and hot. That's Florida, right?
swellenore: July 2012
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012_07_01_archive.html
Friday, July 27, 2012. As you may know, Lenore has retired. She's packed up her dusty plastic plants, her photos of other people's babies, and her beloved fan. She has been a great friend and one that might never know the impact she has made on me (and anyone that followed this blog). So long, Lenore. I will truly miss our chemistry. Monday, July 23, 2012. Me: So, are you really gone next Tuesday? Lenore: Yes sir, I'm done. El gone-oh. Me: I won't be here. I have to go to that conference all next week.
swellenore: October 2011
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Wednesday, October 12, 2011. Lenore Wants a Dutch Oven, Part 1. Lenore comes into my office. I'm at my desk typing.). Lenore: Hello mister. Do you know how to cook brisket? Me: Uh, no, but I bet I could figure it out. L: Debbie was telling me about an iron or heavy metal type of pot for the oven and everything. It does brisket. Me: Like an iron clad skillet or something? L: Does that have a top for it? Me: Oh, a dutch oven? L: Wha- what's it called again? Me: A Dutch. Oven. Me: Lenore. Just order a p...
swellenore: Lenore Pops By the Office
http://swellenore.blogspot.com/2012/10/lenore-pops-by-office.html
Tuesday, October 23, 2012. Lenore Pops By the Office. I'm sitting in my office talking to a coworker when Lenore walks in unexpectedly. I gasp a little louder than I should. There's lots of commotion, cross-talk, and hugs as people in the office gather around to greet her.). Coworker: So how is it on the other side of the river? Me: How's all the packing going? Are you still moving out of your house? L: Oh, yes. Me and St. Vincent de Paul have become great friends. I'm happy to see it go. L: A bed sheet.
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hammerheadtheater.blogspot.com
HAMMERHEAD THEATER
True tales of my coworker. Tuesday, June 19, 2012. Hammerhead vs. pants. Hammerhead summoned me to her desk to supposedly discuss something important but instead told me all about her new pants while I stood in direct line of her fan, which was blowing her hot dog smell right at me. I think I'm really going to like these pants. They've got pockets! But I hate this drawstring thingy around the waist. Just pull it out and throw it away. Tuesday, April 3, 2012. Hammerhead vs. esl trainee. NO, it's okay!
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