dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Amber Alert
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/02/amber-alert.html
Saturday, February 21. Hey peeps. No I am not dead. Nor have I been kidnapped. No bizarre pickle jar opening accident which left my fingers paralyzed. No.I have been having a SERIOUS case of Seasonal Attitude and Depression. I am so effin SICK of snow. and mud. and more snow. and more mud. It's got me down. and I can't blog when I am depressed. Hang in there woman. Look forward to reading you when you return.ad. Rolling Off The Edge. Together. I hope you're feeling better! View my complete profile. Get T...
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Tank Engines Among Us
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2007/03/tank-engines-among-us.html
Thursday, March 29. Tank Engines Among Us. Well, I have to blog about our youngest: The BoyKing. He is shall I say, The Golden One. The Light Of Our Lives. In short, he lived through something unspeakably awful. In the first few months of his life, and so now everyone in the family dotes on him as though he is in immediate line for throneship. Alas, he is also.in need of a 12 step program for Thomas tank engine addiction. Of course, we can only be considered the best. Okay, you get the idea, it is not a ...
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: The P Factor
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/01/p-factor.html
Wednesday, January 14. Well Here's a little tidbit they don't tell you in diet school. You *will* be making more pit stops than a busload of pregnant women drinking cranberry juice. Previously, I was known as the "family camel". (hey wait.should that offend me? This is because I can ride in a car for 6-8 hours without even THINKING about peeing. And that's after drinking a soda or two on the trip. And now, you ask? And yesterday. I sneezed. - and peed myself. So Not. Cool. Natasha the exile on Mom Street.
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Lick This.
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/01/lick-this.html
Monday, January 26. So there he is, the BoyKing at bathtime. He's frolicking in the suds, pretending that Lightning McQueen has been engulfed in an avalanche. I peek in, ever so spylike, every few minutes to be sure that:. He has not decided to move the "scene" into the toilet, which happens to be in easy reach of the bathtub. That he does not try to shampoo on his own because he's in this 'I CAN DO EVERYTHING MYSELF' phase. He get's that from his. AhhBoys. Ya gotta love 'em. O the things they say! I'm h...
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: That's Just Bra-wful
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2007/03/thats-just-bra-wful.html
Thursday, March 29. Suddenly she squeals in terror: "EWWW MOM THATS SO GROSS! YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA -ARE YOU? To which I respond with this face:. She then runs shrieking to her room, and slams the door. I dunno bout you, but I'm guessing she won't be buggin me about whats for DINNER for a while. Heh. Unfortunately the only wisdom I may have had, has been replaced with the "now what did I come into this room for again? This is the laugh I so needed! And if you buy bikini. View my complete profile.
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Dirty Hairy
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2007/03/dirty-hairy.html
Thursday, March 29. DysdHousewife stands outside school library, banging fists on door wildly "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! More banging: "Who in the name of CRACKER gave my daughter this FREAKIN BOOK? GirlyDiva: "Mom, do all girls grow hair in their armpits? DysdHousewife: "Yes Honey they do, It's part of puberty.". GirlyDiva: "I think it's stupid to grow hair there.". DysdHousewife: "I know honey, but you can shave it.". GirlyDiva: "So. Do we grow hair anywhere else? GirlyDiva: *Long Pause* "EWWWWWwwww!
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Is It Friday Already?
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/02/is-it-friday-already.html
Friday, February 6. Is It Friday Already? I haven't been able to post this past few days because we had yet another birthday to prepare for. This time for the BoyKing. He turned 5 years old. It makes me a little sad to start seeing the "boy features" popping up on him- my baby is slowly disappearing. He had a great birthday, and the Tweens had a great time decorating for him with streamers and balloons. She is trying to kill me. Cause of death? And last but not least, I have been on my diet since January...
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Always Sumthin'
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/01/you-have-to-be-kidding-me.html
Thursday, January 29. A delightful morning. That's what it was. The dysd tweens got up in time to make it out the door for the bus without a rush, and there was *NO* morning bickering. A wholesome. Oh wait.Have I mentioned that this kind of morning NEVER happens at Dysdhouse? There is always SOMETHING with the tweens: I can't find my shoes! Have you seen my hairbrush? Tell her to shuttup! Tell *him* to shut up! Get off my coat! My Strudel was in the toaster FIRST! You're hogging the toaster! Something is...
dysdhousewife.blogspot.com
Dysfunctional Housewife: Random Yakity Smakity
http://dysdhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/01/random-yakity-smakity.html
Thursday, January 22. Green tea flavor Crystal Light is the EXACT color of pee. I mean. exactly. like pee. yuk. I can't drink it without adding food coloring to it. Jack Nicholson is right. NEVER trust a fart. The BoyKing learned that one the hard way today, in his preschool gym time. In his words: "mom! I was standing there having a fart, and all da sudden poop shooted out! Needless to say, he's South of the Border. These are like, the TIGHTEST shoes evuur! Fast forward 24 hours. Dysdhubby: "BARK YELL B...
