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newsync: June 2010

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Thursday, 17 June 2010. Algeria, Cameroon, Nigeria Get A Resounding 'No' In Opinion Polls. Nairobi, Kenya- As Kenyans remained sharply divided on the draft constitution they are about to vote YES or NO in a forthcoming referendum, sources in Pubs have noticed a unifying factor- the World Cup. Not the beautiful tournament passe but the answer with a 'YES', 'NO' or 'So So' to the question of who 'Should Have', 'Shouldn't Have' and 'Should Not' have represented Africa in the tournament. Our computers showed...

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newsync: July 2010

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Saturday, 31 July 2010. SADDLE RIVER,New Jersey- The world famous recording Artiste/Producer Wyclef Jean has given hint's he will be running for the November Haitian elections as President. Though no official announcement has been made by Mr. Jean himself-yet- he has already presented his fingerprints, in person, to the concerned authorities in Haiti and has until August 7th 2010 to register as a candidate. It's a shame they are blind to the wonderful work Wyclef has done through his Yele Haiti. We under...

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newsync: April 2013

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Thursday, 25 April 2013. In a chat room on the internet the. Following conversation took place. Me: hmm….wonder what a bank account and toothpaste have in common. Hint: Robert Ackerstrom. Phil Broderick: easy to take out but hard to put back. Me: it’s refreshing to have a nigga who actually reads or listens to books. Congrats brotha. Phil: am not a nigga. I wish you were. so my comments would come. Phil: but am happy you are so I guess your prophecy is self fulfilling, literally. Phil: can it be fixed.

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newsync: August 2010

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Wednesday, 18 August 2010. Toyota Probox Chosen New Official Somali Wagon Of Choice. EASTLEIGH, Nairobi- It's now official. The Easleigh council of elders[ Guurt Izili. A board mainly made up of Septogenarian[seventy somethings] Kenyan Somali businessmen has unanimously passed a resolution declaring the Toyota Probox the official commercial use station wagon in that region. A picture of the wagon of choice with the right colour on one of the pamphlet. S to be distributed to all. But we understand that's ...

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newsync: March 2010

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Friday, 26 March 2010. Social Scientist Draws Parallels Between Makmende And Samsom. As Makmende Continues to fascinate the imagination of many in the country, researchers at the University of Nairobi[UoN] have drawn parallels between the Urban legend and the Biblical Samson. Look at it this way. They are both badasses never mind he is black. So are Ethiopian Jews.". But Lineaologists at Campus dismissed Ochi's claims as pure imagination. KeMU] and an aspiring Reverend. Jehova Jireh" he concluded. And un...

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newsync: January 2010

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Sunday, 31 January 2010. Jobs convinces the world to buy something they didn't even know they needed-again. CUPERTINO,Ca-Apple Computer Inc. CEO and co-founder Steve Jobs was at it, again, doing what he does best when not shouting at helpless employees at HQ, or in and out of hospital. He was preaching the gospel of it's newest product the iPad formerly known as the iTablet or maybe iTab. Ipad, imate, islate,islut, ifly idon't really care-Steve Ballmer CEO Microsoft. No I AM not". Then finally a truly se...

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newsync: December 2012

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Thursday, 27 December 2012. Obesity Killing Three Times More Than Malnutrition. Obesity has overtaken malnutrition as a leading child killer according to a new report. This has come as a surprise to most as all pointers showed the world running out of food since the world population hit the 7billion mark this year. Overnourished is the new malnourished. 8220;This is mockery”. From the Horn of Africa condemned this report. Explaining it will undo many. Might pull out based. On the misleading Lancet report.

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newsync: February 2010

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Saturday, 27 February 2010. Tiger Woods Dropped By Gatorade, Threatens To Leave US. BARRINGTON, Ill-Tiger Woods threatened to leave the United States if Gatorade does not bend over backwards, swallow it's pride and reinstate his sponsorship. Sources close to the golfer confirmed Mr. Woods will temporarily leave the U.S.to give his [former] sponsor time for reflection 'to reconsider it's decision' concerning their future involvement with him or else extend his stay-indefinitely. Nevertheless Tiger's spoke...

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newsync: MAN SACKED FOR WEARING ARSENAL JERSEY

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Thursday, 12 December 2013. MAN SACKED FOR WEARING ARSENAL JERSEY. An employee of Kenya Airways, Kenya’s national airline was apparently sacked for wearing an Arsenal FC (football club) tee shirt to a Kenya Airways sponsored event at the Masai Mara. Replica of a career threatening shirt. Reliable sources believe the MD, Mr. Titus Naikuni was drunk. 8220;This is another classic reason why we lobbied hard for the Media Bill as a Corporate” said Klein (not his real name), some damage control guy, expl...