HOUSEOFCARLYLE.COM

The House of Carlyle

Vol 8 - No. 4. 3 April, 2017. You’re The Faith Healer At His Father’s Funeral. You’re The Husband Who Won’t Put His Hand On The Glass. You’re The Smuggler Trying To Plan Your Wedding. You’re The Dictator Who Thinks He Looks Terrible In Hats. Try the furry one with the chinstrap. Push it forward. Don’t make that face. I know what that face means. The rebels are gathering in the hills and the people and leaving the city to join them, all because you think you look terrible in…. It’s cavity season aga...

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Vol 8 - No. 4. 3 April, 2017. You’re The Faith Healer At His Father’s Funeral. You’re The Husband Who Won’t Put His Hand On The Glass. You’re The Smuggler Trying To Plan Your Wedding. You’re The Dictator Who Thinks He Looks Terrible In Hats. Try the furry one with the chinstrap. Push it forward. Don’t make that face. I know what that face means. The rebels are gathering in the hills and the people and leaving the city to join them, all because you think you look terrible in…. It’s cavity season aga...

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1 archive

2 submissions

3 blog

4 the keeper

5 by sh carlyle

6 sh carlyle

7 our favourite articles

8 faqs bed bugs

9 the friendlies

10 cavalier literary couture

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The House of Carlyle | houseofcarlyle.com Reviews

https://houseofcarlyle.com

Vol 8 - No. 4. 3 April, 2017. You’re The Faith Healer At His Father’s Funeral. You’re The Husband Who Won’t Put His Hand On The Glass. You’re The Smuggler Trying To Plan Your Wedding. You’re The Dictator Who Thinks He Looks Terrible In Hats. Try the furry one with the chinstrap. Push it forward. Don’t make that face. I know what that face means. The rebels are gathering in the hills and the people and leaving the city to join them, all because you think you look terrible in…. It’s cavity season aga...

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houseofcarlyle.com

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The House of Carlyle | You’re The Arsonist Architect

http://www.houseofcarlyle.com/articles/youre-the-arsonist-architect

Vol 8 - No. 4. 20 April, 2017. March 23, 2012. You’re The Arsonist Architect. Design. Build. Burn. Wash Rinse. Repeat. Design a 72 storey mixed-use tower downtown. Make the first 12 floors commercial leasing space with an exciting expansive entrance and grand English cathedral-style atrium. Have all the luxury designers beg for space in your masterpiece. Give Louboutin a kiosque next to the food court because he’s a piece of shit. Stand at your hotel window that night and look out at your creation. If I ...

2

The House of Carlyle | Blog

http://www.houseofcarlyle.com/category/blog

Vol 8 - No. 4. 20 April, 2017. October 24, 2011. House of Carlyle Halloween Consultation. You’re nervous. You have four days left before your search for a Halloween costume turns into a mad dash around the house, picking up various articles, ending with some vague title like “hippie” or “Anthony Eden, British Prime Minister from 1955 to 1957.”. Past successes: Robert Goulet Batman, all the characters from Mad Men in a single costume, Home Invasion Dora the Explorer, and many many others. March 25, 2011.

3

The House of Carlyle | Submissions

http://www.houseofcarlyle.com/submissions

Vol 8 - No. 4. 20 April, 2017. Youre asking yourselves Holy hell, I need to be a part of this. Ive got a handgun and a mask. What do I do? First, put the handgun and the mask away. When we get the proper funding for a militia, you can bring them out again. For the moment, you can submit your writing to the House of Carlyle. Its your birthday. Go for it. Your piece doesnt fit into any of the above? Dont worry about it. If you think you can sell it to us, then go right ahead. By sell we of course d...We pr...

4

The House of Carlyle | You’re The Dentist Who Has Never Had An Orgasm

http://www.houseofcarlyle.com/articles/youre-the-dentist-who-has-never-had-an-orgasm

Vol 8 - No. 4. 20 April, 2017. March 16, 2012. You’re The Dentist Who Has Never Had An Orgasm. It’s cavity season again. Very few people know that cavity season comes in the spring when people start going outside again and forget to brush their teeth because fuck that I’m going rollerblading. So your chair is always occupied with patients. Patients and their orgasms. 8220;It’s kind of like going really fast on a rollercoaster, down there,” one patient says. This is an obvious problem when it comes to rel...

5

The House of Carlyle | Archive

http://www.houseofcarlyle.com/archive

Vol 8 - No. 4. 20 April, 2017. Word of the Day. June 27, 2012. You’re The Faith Healer At His Father’s Funeral. May 11, 2012. You’re The Husband Who Won’t Put His Hand On The Glass. April 27, 2012. You’re The Smuggler Trying To Plan Your Wedding. April 20, 2012. You’re The Dictator Who Thinks He Looks Terrible In Hats. April 6, 2012. You’re The Amish Hot Tub Salesman. March 30, 2012. You’re The Arsonist Architect. March 23, 2012. You’re The Dentist Who Has Never Had An Orgasm. March 16, 2012.

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Vol 8 - No. 4. 3 April, 2017. You’re The Faith Healer At His Father’s Funeral. You’re The Husband Who Won’t Put His Hand On The Glass. You’re The Smuggler Trying To Plan Your Wedding. You’re The Dictator Who Thinks He Looks Terrible In Hats. Try the furry one with the chinstrap. Push it forward. Don’t make that face. I know what that face means. The rebels are gathering in the hills and the people and leaving the city to join them, all because you think you look terrible in…. It’s cavity season aga...

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