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I Am Not Quirky

Monday, October 6, 2014. How to Get Your Feet All Gross and Look Chic In Time For Halloween. It's October, that wonderful time of year of apple cider wishes and pumpkin spice dreams. It is beginning to become chilly enough that I begin to have seasonal, heart-warming thoughts such as, "How long can I get away with wearing cardigans and circle scarves before I have to squeeze into my coat that I am too fat for? I am a mindless sheep. I want to have a cool pedometer. I finally got this ****** on. After thr...

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I Am Not Quirky | iamnotquirky.blogspot.com Reviews
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Monday, October 6, 2014. How to Get Your Feet All Gross and Look Chic In Time For Halloween. It's October, that wonderful time of year of apple cider wishes and pumpkin spice dreams. It is beginning to become chilly enough that I begin to have seasonal, heart-warming thoughts such as, How long can I get away with wearing cardigans and circle scarves before I have to squeeze into my coat that I am too fat for? I am a mindless sheep. I want to have a cool pedometer. I finally got this ****** on. After thr...
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I Am Not Quirky | iamnotquirky.blogspot.com Reviews

https://iamnotquirky.blogspot.com

Monday, October 6, 2014. How to Get Your Feet All Gross and Look Chic In Time For Halloween. It's October, that wonderful time of year of apple cider wishes and pumpkin spice dreams. It is beginning to become chilly enough that I begin to have seasonal, heart-warming thoughts such as, "How long can I get away with wearing cardigans and circle scarves before I have to squeeze into my coat that I am too fat for? I am a mindless sheep. I want to have a cool pedometer. I finally got this ****** on. After thr...

INTERNAL PAGES

iamnotquirky.blogspot.com iamnotquirky.blogspot.com
1

I Am Not Quirky: IT'S SO SHINY

http://www.iamnotquirky.blogspot.com/2014/04/its-so-shiny.html

Sunday, April 27, 2014. July 24, 2014 at 4:19 PM. I do not have attention deficit ooh shiny. I have attention deficit ooh a dog. I used to watch the sparkle in my ring. Sometimes it will catch my eye though. August 8, 2014 at 9:24 PM. I just saw this! Some days I spend the whole day just dazzling myself with mine! Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Now you can subscribe by email so you don't miss a single post! LET'S PLAY INTERNETS TOGETHER! A Very Special What I Wore Wednesday: Catcall Edition. Im goin...

2

I Am Not Quirky: Vacation, Mental Illness, and Weight Gain

http://www.iamnotquirky.blogspot.com/2014/09/vacation-mental-illness-and-weight-gain.html

Monday, September 8, 2014. Vacation, Mental Illness, and Weight Gain. I had a good time on my vacation. Here is a MySpace style angle shot of me in my vacation wear. I got to spend my vacation with this beautiful person who loves me. We had a heart-shaped hot tub. And late night pizza delivery. The difference between my husband and I is that I get so excited about being on vacation that I can't sleep and have to watch the sun rise each morning. There are a few more photographs on my Instagram. When we ca...

3

I Am Not Quirky: Probably The Wrong Way To Get Sweet Potato Stains Out of Wood Cabinets. (Sorry.)

http://www.iamnotquirky.blogspot.com/2014/07/probably-wrong-way-to-get-sweet-potato.html

Sunday, July 13, 2014. Probably The Wrong Way To Get Sweet Potato Stains Out of Wood Cabinets. (Sorry.). The past few weeks this terrible smell has been coming from my kitchen, enough that I've had nightmares about where it might be coming from. I went sniffing around one and could not find the culprit until I was looking for one of my frying pans and discovered a bag of rotting sweet potatoes oozing their decomposed rot juice all over my lovely kitchen cabinets. Yeah, that's never coming out.". Over at ...

4

I Am Not Quirky: October 2014

http://www.iamnotquirky.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

Monday, October 6, 2014. How to Get Your Feet All Gross and Look Chic In Time For Halloween. It's October, that wonderful time of year of apple cider wishes and pumpkin spice dreams. It is beginning to become chilly enough that I begin to have seasonal, heart-warming thoughts such as, "How long can I get away with wearing cardigans and circle scarves before I have to squeeze into my coat that I am too fat for? I am a mindless sheep. I want to have a cool pedometer. I finally got this fucker on. After thr...

5

I Am Not Quirky: TL;DR I stabbed my thumb and danced like a stripper and felt like Beyoncé.

http://www.iamnotquirky.blogspot.com/2014/09/tldr-i-stabbed-my-thumb-and-danced-like.html

Wednesday, September 10, 2014. TL;DR I stabbed my thumb and danced like a stripper and felt like Beyoncé. I've had other foods be my lover. True story, I once had an orgasm in a seafood restaurant over plain cheesecake. This happened in front of my grandmother and mother and everyone. It must have been so annoying for everyone to witness the stupid eighteen year old moaning like Meg Ryan at the dinner table. I felt so dirty, but no regrets whatsoever. That was a damn fine cheesecake. Anyway my first Zumb...

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orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: April 2015

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2015_04_01_archive.html

And As If That Wasn't Enough. By now you've all gotten your copies of "I STILL Just Want To Pee Alone" and read the hilarious and heartwarming essays by me and my fellow bloggers. (If you haven't, well, click on that little link over there that says, "Buy My Books! My colleagues and I aren't just hilarious in long form, we're also funny in short form. And by short form, I mean Twitter. Small acts of compassion each day is good for your soul. 60 retweets, 103 stars. 13 retweets, 32 stars. You may be saying.

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: Five Ways I Revealed I Was an American Without Ever Opening My Mouth

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2015/08/five-ways-i-revealed-i-was-american.html

Five Ways I Revealed I Was an American Without Ever Opening My Mouth. I just spent ten days in the Scottish Highlands. Being an American, I obviously sound like one (although I did have one person mistake me for Australian, which was odd because Australian accents are far more similar to British accents than American), but beyond that there were apparently a myriad of other signs that exposed me as a tourist, without my ever opening my mouth. 8220;No, we’re not,” we replied. 8220;Are you Americans? My hu...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: The Greatest Cake of All

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-greatest-cake-of-all.html

The Greatest Cake of All. The other thing about my birthday that was always something of a letdown was that my mom bought me bakery cakes. Don’t ask me why that was a disappointment to me. I’m sure there were tons of kids who hated the homemade, amaturely decorated cakes that their moms made, but for me it was the opposite. How would you like to have turkey for your “birthday dinner” for eleven years in a row? I don’t even like. We ate about one more bite, and then she did. Has anyone ever made you a sup...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: Possibly the Worst Gift I Ever Gave My Grandmother

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2015/06/possibly-worst-gift-i-ever-gave-my.html

Possibly the Worst Gift I Ever Gave My Grandmother. It’s not like she needs anything) and she eats a couple, then freezes the rest to have when people come to visit her. My friends and I all agree that if we make it to 102, we are going to eat all the cookies. Didn't feel old enough to be a grandmother- she was only about 57 at the time,. Because of Elsie the Cow- my grandparents had a farm and raised beef cattle. 8220;Oh, well, that’s all right with me. Tracy can call me Elsie,” she said. Thats not bad-...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: November 2014

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2014_11_01_archive.html

Thirty Things for Which I am Thankful. Let’s get the sloppy stuff out of the way first, because I do sentimental very badly. Presence of husband and children in my life, health of aforementioned, health of self, presence of extended family and their health. Grateful: check. Friends. Without friends I’d be…well, friendless. Chocolate. Self-explanatory, I think. Office supplies. I love. Facebook. I get no end of pleasure out of Facebook. Oh, I have my gripes with it, but overall it’s fun. Christmas earring...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: Summer Standards

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2015/07/summer-standards.html

Summers are supposed to be relaxing. They probably are for my kids, who don’t have to go to school, but I still have a full time job, so not only do I have to figure out how to amuse my kids, I also have to work. That’s not to say I don’t relax in the summer. I do. I relax my standards. To illustrate the contrast, I offer the following examples:. Last Week of School: “You need to eat something real for breakfast even if it's just a Nutrigrain bar.”. Last Week of School: “Showers on Saturday,. Last Week o...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: August 2014

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2014_08_01_archive.html

The Number You Have Reached. Why, you may ask, do we then bother with a landline? 8220;Jesus, this is going to cost him a fortune. Duh He called my cell from his. It wasn’t costing him a dime. That idea would never have crossed the mind of any of my kids in a similar circumstance, because they know nothing of the concept of local calls versus long distance calls. Calls are calls to them. And remember calling someone and getting a “busy signal”? Self-checkout, a concept I know. 8221; Ugggghhh, OKAY MOM.

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: Head Games

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2015/07/head-games.html

8220;You have to calm down,” he kept saying. 8220;Are you kidding me? This kid looks like he’s going to need a transfusion in about three minutes, and you want me to calm down? Since my husband is a) a boy, and b) an Eagle Scout, he knew about the bleeding. He’s also far less inclined to flip out over things that have to do with the kids than I am. He told me later he was prepared to take the kid to Urgent Care if it hadn’t stopped bleeding when it did. July 1, 2015 at 4:57 PM. My husband handles those d...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: October 2014

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

There were a few kids who engaged in a more repulsive dietary ritual. They would buy an economy size tube of chocolate chip cookie dough, and eat it all day long. I confess I did this at least once that I can recall. Kids generally only did this about once a year, because gross. Somehow we’d forget from one year to the next how revolting the whole experience was, and we’d do it again, only to recall that it was completely vile. We were kind of stupid that way. I will say that knowing what I ate when I wa...

orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com

Orange and Silver: Buy My Books!

http://orangeandsilverblog.blogspot.com/p/buy-my-books.html

I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone. I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone (Pee Alone #3) Don't miss the third book in this bestselling series! Motherhood is STILL the toughest – and STILL the funniest – job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – TGIF means nothing to a mother! You said it befor. E and you're saying it again, “I STILL just want to pee alone! AMAZON PAPERBACK: CLICK HERE. BARNES and NOBLE: CLICK HERE.

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I Am Not Quirky

Monday, October 6, 2014. How to Get Your Feet All Gross and Look Chic In Time For Halloween. It's October, that wonderful time of year of apple cider wishes and pumpkin spice dreams. It is beginning to become chilly enough that I begin to have seasonal, heart-warming thoughts such as, "How long can I get away with wearing cardigans and circle scarves before I have to squeeze into my coat that I am too fat for? I am a mindless sheep. I want to have a cool pedometer. I finally got this fucker on. After thr...

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