astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/01/there-is-weight-that-has-no-name.html
Friday, January 16, 2015. Posted at 12:16 AM. There is a weight that has no name pressing down on my chest and. I can't fucking breathe. I tell it because there is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I have been locked out, and it never goes away. I am a riot of contradictions, still struggling to figure myself out.
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/03/sometimes-i-like-to-punish-myself.html
Tuesday, March 17, 2015. Posted at 1:09 AM. Sometimes I like to punish myself. Not eating my meals, not sleeping despite being dog tired, drinking, listening to the same fucking sad song hoping it would break me this time. I spend nights staring up at the ceiling from the floor. I will never forget that feeling of a choked throat, and tight chest from trying to hold tears in. And the moment tears finally, literally spill from my eyes the moment I turn my back.
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/05/i-read-article-other-day-that-every.html
Sunday, May 10, 2015. Posted at 4:06 AM. I read an article the other day that every time your mind recalls a memory, it is actually recalling the time when you were last recalling it. This alters the memory slightly each time, and it becomes more and more inaccurate over time, like a line of people playing 'pass the message'. This means that one day, what I remembered to have once happened might be completely different from what actually. I hesitate reminiscing about us now.
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/02/its-so-hard-to-live.html
Sunday, February 1, 2015. Posted at 12:40 AM. It's so hard to live. Trying is a fucking joke. I must have forgotten what 'trying' felt like when I said that I would try and give people a chance. How much does it take out of me to do something like trying, trying to connect, trying to fit in, trying to be happy like everyone else is. But to you, to others, it is, after all, nothing that important. I tried, and then I remember why I stopped trying. I am, after all, still better on my own. Friends, family, ...
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/02/blog-post.html
Monday, February 23, 2015. Posted at 1:10 AM. I tell it because there is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I have been locked out, and it never goes away. I am a riot of contradictions, still struggling to figure myself out.
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/01/hello-2015.html
Friday, January 2, 2015. Posted at 6:50 PM. Anyway, it was really fortunate that I have the two of them to take care of me while I was puking myself senseless, having to clean up my mess and bring me back home. I am thankful beyond anything, really. So my take on 2014, on 2 January 2015. It is scary and it is dangerous, because I'm starting to believe humans can actually die from sadness. 4 A habit or goal for myself: Keep reading, keep writing. Also in 2015, I'm really going to try to fight for a plane ...
astep-ahead.blogspot.com
Breathe.
http://astep-ahead.blogspot.com/2015/01/blog-post.html
Friday, January 9, 2015. Posted at 3:03 AM. 谈一场不顾一切, 乱七八糟, 轰轰烈烈. 也许就不会这样一直什么感觉也没有; 哭也不是, 笑也不是. I tell it because there is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I have been locked out, and it never goes away. I am a riot of contradictions, still struggling to figure myself out.
